Some customers have commented that the storage space at the top of the THOM is deceptive, and dose not seem to hold as much as would be expected.

The Manufacturers feel this is not an issue, and to attempt an increase on storage space would spoil the overall effect. Feedback from customers also suggests the aesthetic appearance is more important than the amount of storage space.

An update to our BRGNHNT line we advise our customers to trade in their DIKNSØN in Mahogenny to a WNNÅKÖTT this model is manufactured in Beech but WAR DRB will apply a loveley Teak laquer this model contains a glass ornament with gold connecters to the side handles
Assembley requires the use of a golden gavel held in the draw of the tried and tested LØWE Not the one that is in our defunt model the CMLLADLLRUP

Most folks who like the look of the THOM do not worry about the apparent lack of storage space at the top as they are not likely to have the wherewithal to have the model in their home. It is enough for them to be able to admire the THOM's beautiful features, marvel at the shapely over-all form and imagine it standing erect in the corner of their room. It is very much a decorative piece and not intended for practical use but is so very pleasing to the eye and as such is proving most popular.

Dine in style with the retro troughing-stand the WÅLLÅS. The table-top veneer is polished to a high shine and is artfully crafted with love-handles.™ A vintage WÅLLÅS is also available from third-hand sellers, a little bowed and bulging at the middle, but serviceable enough for a tasty bowl of almondy pudding.

Unfortunately the WALLAS is shortly to be withdrawn from the catalogue as a number of unwanted features have become apparent. The top is so shiny that crockery slips straight off, the finish sweats perpetually and the front elevation tends to emit a rather startling and off-putting "wow wow" sound when approached.

Also the WALLAS has been placed near a VLANI which is not a very complementary piece

It has been brought to our attention that if the new uncharacteristicallly sparkly edition of the THOM proves too ostentacious, then it is recommended that the THOM be stripped down to its original state, to be enjoyed in all its naturalness.

The deluxe version of the WÅLLÅS comes with a buttery biscuit base....

This is to warn customers, especially those older ones the BROOS has been moved to the CIN range and XMAS range

A new addition to our Antipodean range - the WYDDN. Slimline and sleek, made of Australian hardwood with a golden finish to the top shelf and bright inlaid ivory veneers. Has the usual open- topped design. Would be ideal to store spare foodstuffs. Paired with the LOTT, makes an unusually striking partnership that would grace many a home, particularly those in the village of Midwich.

IKEA have introduced a limited edition dessert in their cafeteria to promote the WALLIS / VLANI furniture combination.
It has a delicious buttery biscuit base base base buttery biscuit base, filled with custard.
It is served with pouring custard and an enormous Megagregg spoon

There has been a problem with the newest model of the JAYJAY. The top has developed a tendency to expand in hot weather and any contents to spill out uncontrollably, to devastating effect.

I'm stumped with this one

CBB JJ?

Certainly the Brad Pitt of the furniture world.

Footnote: please only place the JAYJAY next to the DUBEKE, as they enhance each other and can cause other items in the range to seem a little beige. It has also been noted that other range items can make a sound not unlike hysterical laughter when their doors or drawers are opened if this is mentioned in their vicinity.

Still no idea.

Edited


Oh right, sighs !

We are temporarily removing the WÅLLÅS from our showrooms due to the appearance of a very undesirable large crack.

The VLANI will also be unavailable for the present as it has fallen to pieces and is proving extremely difficult to reassemble.

Yet again, Ikea have to apologise for meat and two veg appearing in the showroom rather than in the cafeteria.

Ahahahaha

Genius!!!

Truly.

The VILANI will soon be restored to it's former sleek glory and will be available FREE to any customer who purchases another item of furniture on condition that this other item is not the WALLAS as fears that cracks and close proximity may unsettle the VILANI range again.

Discerning shoppers might wish to take advantage of the ANTØN-JUDI lounge suite. Covered in a striking cheese-coloured leather, this two-piece proves that old-fashioned styling is never out of date. This suite in fact is surprisingly perky and the ANTØN upholstery conceals a pop-out cocktail bar.