Bizarrely, in the presence of a camera, the blue CLIFTON will turn to face it. It doesn't matter what position it is in, or indeed how many other pieces from our range is put in front of it, it can sense the camera and will appear close to it. It defies the laws of nature to do so. Anyone unnerved by the uncanny abilities of the blue CLIFTON is advised to choose another piece from our range.

We are deeply sorry to announce that the BLLINGHM is no longer available. Due to it's popularity, undeniable lustre and the ability to bring a smile to everyone who owned one, we can no longer offer this product as it is out of stock. We will never be able to replicate it's charm and style.
(Hope you like that Linda x)

Lovely x

Beautiful x

It will be sadly missed.

Don't know how you managed to do this. Every word makes me see her face. Lovely

The BILLINHM will be missed

Bless xx now you've made me laugh and cry 😢

Final reduction – All stock must go!

The much loved NATLI scarf rack has been fitted with a high speed fan for one week only.
Set the fan speed to Ultra Fast to produce a draft strong enough to lift the heaviest of capes.
Comes with free knitted hat /tea cosy for your WUNNACUT teapot

Bothered by cats fouling your garden?

Buy a TONYGAGA pest repellent.
This handy gadget emits a screeching noise that will scare away any intruding felines.

Also repels hedgehogs, squirrels and munjac deer.
Set to " 10 - maximum- Stun" if you are bothered by unwanted Donnys.

Try the new GAGAFOIL dress, also useful for protection during the warm down after a marathon.

We would like to alert all customers to the new addition to our puzzlingly popular SCTT. For one night only the designers (possibly after a heavy night on the beers) have offered the SCTT with CHRLSTN add-ons. We are uncertain as to the effect this will have on the previously less than mobile SCTT but feel that adding it to the JWANN may be disastrous.

Please follow the instructions carefully when assembling your SCTT / CHRLSTN combo.
Screw (k) must be used to securely fix JAZHANS (see picture 143)
If not securely fixed, JAZHANS can fly off unexpectedly and cause serious injury.

Fans of the popular HOLLINZ might like to know that from this evening BAXSHAL can be purchased with PIVTS. Lots and lots of them.

--------
Customer reviews (1)
I measured the space in my living room to make sure there was room for the BAXSHAL, because this is a sizeable unit, but hadn't taken into account the PIVTS. It had to be erected in the garden as an outdoor feature. Be advised there is a lot of screwing in the assembly

However it should be noted, the sparkling lights on the JWANN seem to be completely immune to damage and will continue to twinkle even if the casing is thrown on the floor, unfortunately this may be accompanied by high pitched squeaking

Customer reviews (2) I really like this piece - it's a really strong unit and the middle section is solid as a rock - no movement there at all.

Please could you tell me if this unit will come with SWVLS? I've been doing a product comparison with the JMURI which is also supposed to acquire a CHRLSTN add on this week but can't see SWVLS mentioned in either product description, although I gather the JMURI unit is more stable and has future plans for enhancement with the ANDI add on coming next week?

I would like to know about the SWVLs since I am a bit limited on space. I've decided to not upgrade my BAXSHAL unit because of this. I find it is functioning quite well without PIVTS.

As the SCTT also comes with the added option of a pre-programmed dance routine, we advise anyone brave enough to want to try this feature informs the retailer so they can be provided with the hydrolic screw tightener as the clap hands/stamp feet section can become rather flash, bang, wallop and the photographs coming out of the add on KDAK picture box a little disconcerting.

Customer review-
if you want something from the CHARLSTN range and are trying to decide between a SCTT and a JMURI, I recommend that you go for the JMURI if you are tight for space.
It's much more stable than the SCTT , and you can be confident that once you position your JMURI, it won't move an inch.
(PS I also find my JMURI doubles up nicely as an ironing board)

Customer review :
I am very disappointed with the SCTT vacuum cleaner.
It seems unable to pick anything up.

The BOYJORGE musical box is being removed from our range .It was a popular item in the 80's and sold well .But it has come to our attention that the BOYJORGE is now no longer well made.It tends to squeak now when turned on and we feel the mechanical parts are now aging and they are difficult to move .It is with sadness that we feel we have to discontinue the line



If anyone has bought a BOYJORGE in the 80;s we suggest a drop of oil for the music box and a Tequila or two for the owner and it just might renew memories of the former glory

Product recall:
We are discontinuing production of the THOM tallboy unit.
The item has developed a fault with the legs which refuse to straighten.


Customer feedback:
Ivy (Lithuania)- Good. Is mine.

How on earth are you supposed to polish an ALIHAMM? You can't get under it because its sits tight to the floor, and the main body of the piece has so many angles and hidden shelves you almost can't get near it. At the moment I'm just reaching in with the duster and hoping for the best - with the distinct feeling its laughing at me.

We are very sorry.

You cannot polish an ALIHAMM.

This should be a well-known fact.