Indeed. I think it just may have been a reference to this - http://birminghammail.co.uk/news/mid...yodel-10485972

That's what I thought too!

Brilliant! I think I'd prefer my parcels left up there. They keep being dropped off at a house over the way which is hardly lived in. I can knock for weeks without response

Tell me, if you found that someone on this board had suggested you would be more palatable if covered in dog wee, would you find that witty?

No, I didn't think so.

You shouldn't presume... In this context, I'd be grinning along with it even in the aroma of my imaginary dog wee. You'll have to find another way to offend me, I'm afraid

It's not Jay himself, you know? It's a pretend bag of jelly babies representing a facet of Jay, wittily.

You know, it puzzles me!! Jay's freak of humour about the toddler is (rightly IMO) tolerated and explained, and yet a joke as mild as this one pointed in his direction is insufferably 'nasty'? Can you see the contradiction?

No, I can't. The one is an attack of foot in mouth disease, the other is a personal attack. I would not even say it about Pondray and I can't stand him. I have never seen ugliness on this thread before and am very sad to see it now.

This isn't the right thread for this conversation and I'm going to shut up and depart.

All I would say Toasted Toad is that I honestly don't believe the poster meant the harm you're taking from it -- which is a good thing! Please relax and don't let yourself get hurt in this way!!

Wow.
Just wow.

Clearly I (one of the most prolific posters on the IKEA thread) missed the mark there.
There was no nasty intention.

Or maybe others have missed the fact that Yodel are famous for how they mistreat parcels.
And are far too ready to take offence.

I won't be apologising but maybe I'm owed an apology

BiB - Absolutely right.
Ridiculous reaction. I hope you don't spend a nanosecond worrying about it!

We are pleased to announce that all items of furniture are now available in Mødula form, which allows for the easy disposal of unpopular features.

Applause

New to our PRUDUCTON range the STÅNDIN OVATN. This will appeal to our discerning clients who wish to feel appreciated. Presented as a low level cupboard, it will extend into a tallboy for extra storage when you exit the room.

(Disclaimer: it has been noted in the warehouse that a single STÅNDIN OVATN is very easy to miss, especially in a more lavishly decorated space. If you wish your friends to be amazed, it may be prudent to buy more than one unit to place around the room for maximum effect)

Genius But an addendum is needed:

If you find your friends are not sufficiently amazed, it may be necessary to obtain a replacement STANDIN OVATN. This will surely give the desired amazement, and no-one will ever know you had to get a second one.

Additional Addendum if all else fails with the STANDIN OVATN Uncle Len is available to point it out to your friends and family exactly where and how it should be viewed.

Note from Warehouse:
If you feel your any of your acquaintances STÅNDIN OVATN is somewhat lacking, then purchase the AURQTES from our EGOBUSTN range for fun that will keep on giving long after the STÅNDIN OVATN is exhausted.

The HELÄN unit appears to be suffering from over work.

IKEA recommends the HËLÄN unit is rested for a day or so and then given extra support from our very pleasant ÅLJAZ ensemble.

Recommend that only a limited amount of drink is given the HELÄN unit on the ÅLAN KÄRR display.

Ikea's end of line Pondray range includes a lovely teak coloured hostess trolley which has proved popular with our older customers. They have so far managed to ignore the slight manufacturing fault with the wheels which give off an irritating squeak which sounds a bit like 'can I just say'. The Jenett lubrication oil will hopefully eventually put a stop to it. Lots left in stock!

As a reward to our loyal customers, any purchases made on Black Friday come with a free DNNYTEN - a one-time item from the JOODGES range.

While the product is a loud American design and very dated in style, we hope customers appreciate the generosity.

Customer respnse: YEAH BABY!

Ikea would like to deny the rumours that it only took them 4hrs to make the latest JYVE model in the PONDRAY range. All our products are quality controlled. However if any customers still want to return their PONDRAY product we are happy to send them two replacement PONDRAYS by way of apology.

Unfortunately DNNYTENS have been on offer at 2 a penny in recently weeks.

Hopefully IKEA will restrict the range from this week to nearly PËRFËKT units.

(Brill post BFGArmy)

The DNNYTENS are now the free item in the PËRFËKTSCØRS range. These are as follows -

The CRÅGTEN - A rather finicky piece with many unnecessary extras. Seen by many as the ultimate PËRFËKTSCØR but we would warn that sometimes the flashy finish hides real precision.

The DÅRCYTEN - An item that generally does whatever is asked of it. You may find that there is a problem getting it out of its box for the first three weeks but after that there should be no problem. In fact, if you're having trouble getting any of your other companion pieces to sit next to each other in perfect unison, shoving the DÅRCYTEN next to these may improve the effect for the less discerning customer.

The LËNTEN - A usually classic piece that also may be tricky to remove from its packaging at first. Generally, the completeness of this item is good, however, we have found that its performance can be affected by both the STORYLN and PRØDCRS pieces.

The BRNØTEN - A rather random item that will slide out of its box and be ready for action immediately. Don't be put off by its slightly bizarre appearance as closer examination generally shows that there is real quality there.

I've been told that I have to produce a FUTWERK voucher code for a LËNTEN but a friend of mine says she has seen the piece given away without a voucher code. I'm confused!

Customer Service Reply : does your friend also own a piece from the SPRTSMÅN Range as we have reports this can make the LËNTEN excitable and unpredictable? We are trying to rectify this, but it seems to date back to the GOFF wardrobe and is extremely resistant to change.

You can still obtain a LENTEN without a FUTWERK voucher.
Simply enter PURF-4-MANS in the box at on line checkout.
Make sure that you use the first box on checkout page
This will ensure over the top PURF-4- MANS required to obtain your LENTEN