I did lol and think of this thread when Waitey referred to the KØHN as a 'big unit' on ITT 
The Strictly Come Dancing / Ikea catalogue
6 of 31
Originally Posted by jeff_vader:
“I did lol and think of this thread when Waitey referred referred to the KØHN as a 'big unit' on ITT”
“I did lol and think of this thread when Waitey referred referred to the KØHN as a 'big unit' on ITT
”
I took it as a shout out
The GUMED item has been temporarily removed from display so that some remedial alterations can be made to the back section (numbered piece 124b in the assembly manual). These are intended to strengthen the section to maintain the integrity of the item. Without such amendments, bits could randomly fall off the GUMED, especially if moved in a quick stepwise fashion.
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“Press release
After the positive reaction to test model TRNBUL, and the runaway success of the follow-up item – the compact HOLLINZ, Ikea are proud to announce the release of the latest model in their NOOSREEDRS range:
The SOOSANA entertainment centre
This is the first item in the NOOSREEDRS range with the alternative “curvy” profile which was so unsuccessful in our competitor’s models FFLIPPS and GARAWY. However, as their standard model KASTL also bombed, we are confident that their collective failure was due to an inherent design flaw.
SOOSANA has many features which means it will appeal to entire family.
It features an attractive “chest of drawers” design: both the chest and the (occasionally flashed) zebra print drawers scored very highly with our male focus groups.
It travels extremely well, coping admirably with thrice weekly commute between London and Manchester, merely needing a little extra undereye concealer on Thursdays.
SOOSANA is particularly suited to use near the Breakfast table, although customers are reminded that repeated early use is only possible if the batteries are put on Recharge before 8pm
It comes with a Kevlar reinforced pelvic floor which renders the item impervious to damage by children.
It also features an integral autocue, making bedtime story reading a doddle.”
“Press release
After the positive reaction to test model TRNBUL, and the runaway success of the follow-up item – the compact HOLLINZ, Ikea are proud to announce the release of the latest model in their NOOSREEDRS range:
The SOOSANA entertainment centre
This is the first item in the NOOSREEDRS range with the alternative “curvy” profile which was so unsuccessful in our competitor’s models FFLIPPS and GARAWY. However, as their standard model KASTL also bombed, we are confident that their collective failure was due to an inherent design flaw.
SOOSANA has many features which means it will appeal to entire family.
It features an attractive “chest of drawers” design: both the chest and the (occasionally flashed) zebra print drawers scored very highly with our male focus groups.
It travels extremely well, coping admirably with thrice weekly commute between London and Manchester, merely needing a little extra undereye concealer on Thursdays.
SOOSANA is particularly suited to use near the Breakfast table, although customers are reminded that repeated early use is only possible if the batteries are put on Recharge before 8pm
It comes with a Kevlar reinforced pelvic floor which renders the item impervious to damage by children.
It also features an integral autocue, making bedtime story reading a doddle.”
BRILLIANT
!!!
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“The GUMED item has been temporarily removed from display so that some remedial alterations can be made to the back section (numbered piece 124b in the assembly manual). These are intended to strengthen the section to maintain the integrity of the item. Without such amendments, bits could randomly fall off the GUMED, especially if moved in a quick stepwise fashion.
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend”
“The GUMED item has been temporarily removed from display so that some remedial alterations can be made to the back section (numbered piece 124b in the assembly manual). These are intended to strengthen the section to maintain the integrity of the item. Without such amendments, bits could randomly fall off the GUMED, especially if moved in a quick stepwise fashion.
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend”
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“The GUMED item has been temporarily removed from display so that some remedial alterations can be made to the back section (numbered piece 124b in the assembly manual). These are intended to strengthen the section to maintain the integrity of the item. Without such amendments, bits could randomly fall off the GUMED, especially if moved in a quick stepwise fashion.
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend”
“The GUMED item has been temporarily removed from display so that some remedial alterations can be made to the back section (numbered piece 124b in the assembly manual). These are intended to strengthen the section to maintain the integrity of the item. Without such amendments, bits could randomly fall off the GUMED, especially if moved in a quick stepwise fashion.
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend”
Please note that rumours that the TOYNTUN now features an optional extra of some wax and a set of hat pins are completely unfounded.
Originally Posted by aggs:
“Please note that rumours that the TOYNTUN now features an optional extra of some wax and a set of hat pins are completely unfounded.”
“Please note that rumours that the TOYNTUN now features an optional extra of some wax and a set of hat pins are completely unfounded.”
Ha ha ha!!!
New in for Christmas, the JUULEN is a compact piece, best suited to small accessories. After a slow start, IKEA has fitted the JULLEN with a volume control which has led to a decrease of migraines and teeth grinding in its vicinity. Our designers believe that the extensive sequined covering will make the JULLEN into the perfect festive piece.
Note: Due to this item being manufactured in very limited numbers, this item may be out of stock very soon, unless demand dictates that more is made.
Note: Due to this item being manufactured in very limited numbers, this item may be out of stock very soon, unless demand dictates that more is made.
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“The GUMED item has been temporarily removed from display so that some remedial alterations can be made to the back section (numbered piece 124b in the assembly manual). These are intended to strengthen the section to maintain the integrity of the item. Without such amendments, bits could randomly fall off the GUMED, especially if moved in a quick stepwise fashion.
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend”
“The GUMED item has been temporarily removed from display so that some remedial alterations can be made to the back section (numbered piece 124b in the assembly manual). These are intended to strengthen the section to maintain the integrity of the item. Without such amendments, bits could randomly fall off the GUMED, especially if moved in a quick stepwise fashion.
It is hoped that the GUMED will be back on display by the weekend”
We are pleased to announce that GUMED will be back on display this weekend , and will feature an unusual plastered back finish.
If you purchase a GUMED , please treat it gently. Kid gloves are available from our catalogue, sold under the name OOPS
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“We are pleased to announce that GUMED will be back on display this weekend , and will feature an unusual plastered back finish.
If you purchase a GUMED , please treat it gently. Kid gloves are available from our catalogue, sold under the name OOPS”
“We are pleased to announce that GUMED will be back on display this weekend , and will feature an unusual plastered back finish.
If you purchase a GUMED , please treat it gently. Kid gloves are available from our catalogue, sold under the name OOPS”
The OOPS includes a DVD of instructions titled INJORIPWN (free bag of frozen peas with the first 10 purchases).
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“We are pleased to announce that GUMED will be back on display this weekend , and will feature an unusual plastered back finish.
If you purchase a GUMED , please treat it gently. Kid gloves are available from our catalogue, sold under the name OOPS”
“We are pleased to announce that GUMED will be back on display this weekend , and will feature an unusual plastered back finish.
If you purchase a GUMED , please treat it gently. Kid gloves are available from our catalogue, sold under the name OOPS”
Note: The limited edition GUMED looks best when matched with the popular ÄRTM range but customers are advised to be careful not move them in too quick a stepping motion during assembly as this might cause irreversible damage to the back section of GUMED. OOPS must be used in this case to minimise impact.
Originally Posted by allgrownup:
“Discontinued from the range this year, clientele of the retailer have complained that model BÖÖG has been missing from the catalogue for the first time since it's inception. An indisputed classic and companion piece for DUBEKK in the classier of interioirs, shoppers are missing this centrepiece of the collection. Known to accompany the more sturdy and sporty variety of items quite well, it is believed that after suffering a production malfunction in the 2005 range and a case of sabotage in the 2008 collection the item was cut loose to avoid further embarrassments for the retailer. Overstock pieces from the 2009 to 2012 ranges have reportedly been sighted in warmer climates where BÖÖG seems to do remarkably well in settings of a recreational nature.”
“Discontinued from the range this year, clientele of the retailer have complained that model BÖÖG has been missing from the catalogue for the first time since it's inception. An indisputed classic and companion piece for DUBEKK in the classier of interioirs, shoppers are missing this centrepiece of the collection. Known to accompany the more sturdy and sporty variety of items quite well, it is believed that after suffering a production malfunction in the 2005 range and a case of sabotage in the 2008 collection the item was cut loose to avoid further embarrassments for the retailer. Overstock pieces from the 2009 to 2012 ranges have reportedly been sighted in warmer climates where BÖÖG seems to do remarkably well in settings of a recreational nature.”
Strictly IKEA can exclusively reveal that the Spring 2014 collection will see a brand new addition to the catalogue. In all secrecy the retailer has been working on an expansion of the BÖÖG range and will be proud to present the BÖÖG mini. Replicated from the original design but in a smaller form so ideal for nurseries and toddlers bedrooms, the BÖÖG mini will be the star centrepiece of the spring line-up as Strictly IKEA celebrates it's 10th anniversary.
Ikea would like to announce improvements to their popular model KOVELEF.
There have been complaints that pairing KOVELEF with the delicate item RAACHUL has resulted in an unstable furniture combination which has a tendency to wobble about far too much.
To improve stability, all KOVELEF models will now be fitted with braces add rigidity.
The strenghtening braces are available in black and leopardskin.
There have been complaints that pairing KOVELEF with the delicate item RAACHUL has resulted in an unstable furniture combination which has a tendency to wobble about far too much.
To improve stability, all KOVELEF models will now be fitted with braces add rigidity.
The strenghtening braces are available in black and leopardskin.
Originally Posted by allgrownup:
“Strictly IKEA can exclusively reveal that the Spring 2014 collection will see a brand new addition to the catalogue. In all secrecy the retailer has been working on an expansion of the BÖÖG range and will be proud to present the BÖÖG mini. Replicated from the original design but in a smaller form so ideal for nurseries and toddlers bedrooms, the BÖÖG mini will be the star centrepiece of the spring line-up as Strictly IKEA celebrates it's 10th anniversary.”
“Strictly IKEA can exclusively reveal that the Spring 2014 collection will see a brand new addition to the catalogue. In all secrecy the retailer has been working on an expansion of the BÖÖG range and will be proud to present the BÖÖG mini. Replicated from the original design but in a smaller form so ideal for nurseries and toddlers bedrooms, the BÖÖG mini will be the star centrepiece of the spring line-up as Strictly IKEA celebrates it's 10th anniversary.”
*claps*
After receiving universal praise for the IVETAR last year, Strictly Ikea is proud to announce that the IVETAR will be a permanent addition to our range. This item re-defines multi-purpose; we firmly believe that the IVETAR is the equal to any existing item in technique. Stylishly upholstered in leopardskin, this item functions at all speeds.
Warning: The IVETAR has an unresolved issue with putting a slim, stylish leg in the air. We are assured that it is still very steady and decorative in this position.
Warning: The IVETAR has an unresolved issue with putting a slim, stylish leg in the air. We are assured that it is still very steady and decorative in this position.
Ikea would like to apologise for any confusion arising from the appearance of the JimmyJ in it's showroom last week, and feel some explanation is due to our customers.
The JimmyJ is an attractive, well built item which has proved a popular part of our 'traditional' range of long standing favourites from several years ago. An over enthusiastic member of our design team wanted to embark on a new and trendy range of distressed furniture and decided to match the JimmyJ to a well upholstered piece with sturdy but unpredictable drawers. Unfortunately this piece proved difficult to manoeuvre, and was totally unsuited to the JimmyJ. We are all for innovation but are willing to admit that mistakes have been made.
Sadly, the distressing of the JimmyJ was taken too far, and the item was temporarily removed from stock. Our renovating and restoration teams are currently working to restore this classic favourite, and as part of this process the JimmyJ will be seen from time to time in the showroom, but is not part of the current catalogue. It is hoped that all traces of the distressing process will be removed over time, and that the JimmyJ will be fully functioning in time for the launch of our new catalogue next year.
Customers who are fans of the traditional range might like to know that the TonBek Knobby Hatstand is still available.
The JimmyJ is an attractive, well built item which has proved a popular part of our 'traditional' range of long standing favourites from several years ago. An over enthusiastic member of our design team wanted to embark on a new and trendy range of distressed furniture and decided to match the JimmyJ to a well upholstered piece with sturdy but unpredictable drawers. Unfortunately this piece proved difficult to manoeuvre, and was totally unsuited to the JimmyJ. We are all for innovation but are willing to admit that mistakes have been made.
Sadly, the distressing of the JimmyJ was taken too far, and the item was temporarily removed from stock. Our renovating and restoration teams are currently working to restore this classic favourite, and as part of this process the JimmyJ will be seen from time to time in the showroom, but is not part of the current catalogue. It is hoped that all traces of the distressing process will be removed over time, and that the JimmyJ will be fully functioning in time for the launch of our new catalogue next year.
Customers who are fans of the traditional range might like to know that the TonBek Knobby Hatstand is still available.
IKEA are please to announce an addition to our mahogany musical rhythmic range, or would be if we could remember anything about it , oops
IKEA will certainly appreciate something about it when it rembers where in the warehouse it is located
Funnily enough we are also looking for its companion piece , the WHOISITAGAIN
IKEA will certainly appreciate something about it when it rembers where in the warehouse it is located
Funnily enough we are also looking for its companion piece , the WHOISITAGAIN
SCD IKEA are re-introducing two old favourites due to massive demand - the WDDCM and the SARJINT.
The WDDCM glides gracefully as a galleon over any floor surface and its billowing covers will stand out in any decor. Customers are advised to wear ear-protectors when in close proximity to the product.
The SARJINT is known for its longevity (indeed, there have even been complaints about this) and its amazing ability to drag other products along behind it.
The WDDCM glides gracefully as a galleon over any floor surface and its billowing covers will stand out in any decor. Customers are advised to wear ear-protectors when in close proximity to the product.
The SARJINT is known for its longevity (indeed, there have even been complaints about this) and its amazing ability to drag other products along behind it.
Originally Posted by who, me?:
“SCD IKEA are re-introducing two old favourites due to massive demand - the WDDCM and the SARJINT.
The WDDCM glides gracefully as a galleon over any floor surface and its billowing covers will stand out in any decor. Customers are advised to wear ear-protectors when in close proximity to the product.
The SARJINT is known for its longevity (indeed, there have even been complaints about this) and its amazing ability to drag other products along behind it.”
“SCD IKEA are re-introducing two old favourites due to massive demand - the WDDCM and the SARJINT.
The WDDCM glides gracefully as a galleon over any floor surface and its billowing covers will stand out in any decor. Customers are advised to wear ear-protectors when in close proximity to the product.
The SARJINT is known for its longevity (indeed, there have even been complaints about this) and its amazing ability to drag other products along behind it.”
Strictly IKEA would like to apologise for this press release. Due to a technical error our April Fools joke for our anniversary year has been sent out before the planned date of April 1st. We would like to apologise for any inconveniences caused and like to stress that these items will not, we repeat will not be placed back into production. The customer who made a downpayment for the WDDCM in one of our drive-in stores will be reimbursed for his troubles.
Originally Posted by allgrownup:
“Strictly IKEA would like to apologise for this press release. Due to a technical error our April Fools joke for our anniversary year has been sent out before the planned date of April 1st. We would like to apologise for any inconveniences caused and like to stress that these items will not, we repeat will not be placed back into production. The customer who made a downpayment for the WDDCM in one of our drive-in stores will be reimbursed for his troubles.”
“Strictly IKEA would like to apologise for this press release. Due to a technical error our April Fools joke for our anniversary year has been sent out before the planned date of April 1st. We would like to apologise for any inconveniences caused and like to stress that these items will not, we repeat will not be placed back into production. The customer who made a downpayment for the WDDCM in one of our drive-in stores will be reimbursed for his troubles.”
We would also like to send him a complimentary load of firewood and assure him that this gift performs much the same function as the WDDCM would have done.
We are sorry to have to withdraw the JAYDJONSN from circulation with immediate effect. Product testers discovered that pairing it with its partner piece, the WAYT, causes it to break in such a way as to make it completely unrepairable. We apologise to all sports lovers who had hoped to display their trophies on it.
We are dubiously proud to announce an upgrade to the FNNITY.
This "new and improved" item will be known as the INFNNITY and comes with a lifelong guarantee.
It is totally indestructible. No matter what you do to it, you'll never be able to shift the bloody thing.
Recommended for sale to masochists only.
This "new and improved" item will be known as the INFNNITY and comes with a lifelong guarantee.
It is totally indestructible. No matter what you do to it, you'll never be able to shift the bloody thing.
Recommended for sale to masochists only.
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“Press release
After the positive reaction to test model TRNBUL, and the runaway success of the follow-up item – the compact HOLLINZ, Ikea are proud to announce the release of the latest model in their NOOSREEDRS range:
The SOOSANA entertainment centre
This is the first item in the NOOSREEDRS range with the alternative “curvy” profile which was so unsuccessful in our competitor’s models FFLIPPS and GARAWY. However, as their standard model KASTL also bombed, we are confident that their collective failure was due to an inherent design flaw.
SOOSANA has many features which means it will appeal to entire family.
It features an attractive “chest of drawers” design: both the chest and the (occasionally flashed) zebra print drawers scored very highly with our male focus groups.
It travels extremely well, coping admirably with thrice weekly commute between London and Manchester, merely needing a little extra undereye concealer on Thursdays.
SOOSANA is particularly suited to use near the Breakfast table, although customers are reminded that repeated early use is only possible if the batteries are put on Recharge before 8pm
It comes with a Kevlar reinforced pelvic floor which renders the item impervious to damage by children.
It also features an integral autocue, making bedtime story reading a doddle.”
“Press release
After the positive reaction to test model TRNBUL, and the runaway success of the follow-up item – the compact HOLLINZ, Ikea are proud to announce the release of the latest model in their NOOSREEDRS range:
The SOOSANA entertainment centre
This is the first item in the NOOSREEDRS range with the alternative “curvy” profile which was so unsuccessful in our competitor’s models FFLIPPS and GARAWY. However, as their standard model KASTL also bombed, we are confident that their collective failure was due to an inherent design flaw.
SOOSANA has many features which means it will appeal to entire family.
It features an attractive “chest of drawers” design: both the chest and the (occasionally flashed) zebra print drawers scored very highly with our male focus groups.
It travels extremely well, coping admirably with thrice weekly commute between London and Manchester, merely needing a little extra undereye concealer on Thursdays.
SOOSANA is particularly suited to use near the Breakfast table, although customers are reminded that repeated early use is only possible if the batteries are put on Recharge before 8pm
It comes with a Kevlar reinforced pelvic floor which renders the item impervious to damage by children.
It also features an integral autocue, making bedtime story reading a doddle.”
The SOOSANA also hopes to emulates the success of the earliest prototype in the NOOSREEDRS range, the KERPLUNK. Customers will remember the KERPLUNK was highly popular at the time of release due it's controversial pairing with the stylish KOHL accompanyment.
Those familiar with the IKEA range may have recognised our famous LACK TABLE which appeared on popular entertainment programme Strictly Come Prancing last night.
http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/20011413/
Other items from the range were also on display – LACK of DCENT KOREOGRAFFY and LACK of PIVT. LACK of POYNTS was also in evidence.
http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/20011413/
Other items from the range were also on display – LACK of DCENT KOREOGRAFFY and LACK of PIVT. LACK of POYNTS was also in evidence.
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