Originally Posted by DMfan:
“New Park I am far from a therapist, but the niggling question I can't get over is what caused the quick deterioration of their marriage? If we assume there was at least a three month period between the castle in S. 5 and the S. 6, Martin and Louisa must have been getting along as they seemed quite comfortable and, dare I say, happy with each other at the wedding. Even in ep. 2, Louisa seemed a little surprised when Martin invited the school board member to dinner, but they were communicating. Then BLAM, it began to unwind. Do you think it was the weight of the marriage? Some physical, but still undiagnosed condition that caused Martin's weight loss and depression? If depression, was it his realization that he was stuck in Portwenn as a GP and that Louisa and James really weren't enought to offset that? Any thoughts?”
I believe that we are meant to think that, now a couple weeks past the wedding, the "honeymoon" is over, and the realities of his situation begin to be felt. His bachelor, almost monastic, life style is a thing of the past, and it was his major way of feeling in control. Now he is no longer in control of his environment, and he and Louisa still have real differences and don't fit together very well. And he is "stuck" in Portwenn. I don't think he brings any of this into his conscious mind, but displaces it onto his anxiety disorder resurfacing (probably never went away entirely).
Originally Posted by Mofromco:
“My reply is actually to your longer post, New Park, but I don't know how to highlight pertinent parts. I disagree that there is not a discrete incident that accounts for DMs blood phobia. The writers have made shown it throughout the series....and seemed to hone it to almost a specific time frame in S6E8. There are hints...the cupboard under the stairs, spankings, Grandpa Henry giving him a frog to dissect when he was 5 years old. Breaking glass....in the bad dream and when he dropped the plate when his Mother visited...the frog on the stairs and finally Ruth's suggestion of a lovely 4 year old versus the shut down 6 year old that she saw later. I believe that there was some sort of large trauma in that time frame.
I do agree that I don't think he has Asperger's in that he actually can have empathy and is able to adapt to changes in functional ways. He functions on a bit of a higher plane than I have seen in my practice as a Pediatrician. Talk therapy....in essence psychotherapy to relive the past and the trauma seems to be the first line to me. I just wonder what modern professionals do to recall something that has been repressed. In corny old movies, they would use hypnosis, but Martin seems like a horrible candidate for that, as would I . We both have a hyper alert status..impossible to hypnotize. Otherwise, what to do? Talk therapy would be my guess and that could be some juicy material for the writers.”
I agree that the writers are pointing in that direction. But I don't think the theory is that there is one specific incident buried somewhere that triggers a phobia at some later point. My own view is that there is a general anxiety that gets "bound up" in a specific phobia. Maybe there is something one has been cautious of, or have had a negative experience with in the past, and that becomes the point around which the phobia develops. Also, usually, they don't come on as suddenly and dramatically as DM's is supposed to have.
I deeply distrust therapies that depend on recalling "repressed memories." Not saying that memories are never repressed, but there was a great deal of abuse of that concept about 20 years ago, when many therapists were recovering all kinds of repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse. "Memory" is a lot less certain than that. And also in my experience, childhood sexual abuse is often right there, in the forefront. You really don't have to probe very far to get at it. And unbelievably common.
That said, there is another kind of therapy, called EMDR, which is pretty good at dealing with memories of traumatic incidents, and also phobias, that are causing a lot of discomfort. It's worth googling, but I won't go into it here. But I don't think that treatment of his specific phobia is his most pressing problem at this point.
The kind of talk therapy that you are thinking about does work, and may provide some immediate relief, but real change takes a while, and their marriage is in need of assistance immediately. If it waits until talk therapy improves him... a lot of not-so-good things can happen in that period of time, to that relationship. But that's just my view. There's also no reason that one can't do both. I agree that he needs it; it won't be at all easy for him, though (or for his therapist).
It may be that Louisa would say that as long as he was getting help, she would stick around. But I think we agree that Louisa also needs to work on some of her issues, and again, I think joint therapy, couples counseling, might be the fastest way to get her to that realization.
