My dog of 9 years had to be euthanized on Wednesday because he couldn't walk anymore. We were barely able to get him in the car and when we took him to the vet, they gave us a choice: evasive tests which may not prolong his life or just let him go. We chose to let him go and I have been a roller coaster of emotions ever since. I had to go back to school today and I passed his outdoor pen. Just looking at it makes me feel so sad. I know Max is in a better place now and he is at peace but it just hurts. Not only that but I feel some guilt for not noticing something sooner.

My heart goes out too you all. Max sounded such a lovely devoted dog, it does get easier too believe me. I've lost so many cats this year I am a rescue and I go through the something each time too. Animals when poorly don't always show that there poorly too. A good friend of mine said too me once that's its better too let go a day too soon than a day too late. You and your family have done such a selfless thing by letting max go with dignity. Always think if the good times too not the bad times. I am sure max wouldn't want you all be be sad.

Its not just that either. Its also the fact that a few months ago, I got angry with him because when I took him out, he got sprayed by a skunk. It was at 3 in the morning and I hated what had happened but he needed to go out. I was angry at him and looking back on it now, I feel just so guilty. I wish that I could turn back the hands of time.

Grief will take as long as you need it to take you cannot go on blaming yourself for something that was out of your control there is no easy way or easy words to help ease your pain all I can say is I am where you are now my cat died this morning from being poisoned by someone so evil and the advice I was given was remember all the good moments and forget about the 3am walk he needed to go it wasn't yours or his fault remember all the treats and all the fun it will get easier I promise our dog died last year it took time but we got there in the end don't get me wrong we still feel sad when looking a pictures and or when his birthday comes and especially Christmas as he loved opening his prezzies you will come to terms with your loss in your own time take each day as it comes and as every morning comes remember a good thing he did like chasing a ball or a stick take care and put your heart at peace he will be happy and playing now no more pain

Hate to tell you, it doesn't get better after 2 days, or longer in my case.

Everyone is different. Take as much time as you need. You shouldn't "have" to feel better in a certain amount of time. You feel better when you feel better, two days is way too soon though.

Guilt is all part of grief along with anger and deep deep sadness. Really have to just hang in and go along with anything you feel as nothing is right or wrong and you will feel better with time but it takes a lot of time to get anywhere near OK with it all. Even years later it can jump up and bite you again from time to time.

I am very sorry about your boy but I am absolutely sure you did you absolute best for him with the information you had at the time, if we all look back we can think of things we wish we did better or different but it doesn't help and we have to understand we did our best as we saw it.

And at the last you were there for him and he will have known that.

You need now to take care of yourself and let yourself have time to grieve and feel whatever you do. You will feel better with time but you will never be quite the same again they really leave a huge paw print on your heart I have found.

It does but it takes a hell of a lot longer than two or three days. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you. Other people might not understand it even months down the line but that's just the way love / grief goes.

You'll have moments of sadness even years down the line that will completely catch you off guard.

I still can't eat chicken nuggets cos my dog had my last 2 when we got them from the chip shop.

My dog died 12 years ago.

I can totally sympathize with you OP because you feel at such a loss when a pet dies (or maybe anyone).

My dog of 8 years died last year and it was pretty sudden (we think...we didn't see no warning signs). He just keeled over from a heart attack, it was one of the most saddest moments of my life. Naively and probably in a state of confusion/shock/hope we took him to an emergency vet who of course said he had died. Because we were so attached to him we did the right thing of letting the vet cremate him, because like my mum said, "If I'd have bought him home, I would have just been sat there cuddling him all day". It's so hard to let go.

I tell you what though, when we came back without him that day, we walked in and all his stuff was still here, it absolutely broke my heart. The next few days after that were just hazy, just sort of doing stuff you have to do because you have to do it. But after a few weeks you do start to feel stronger.

It's always worst at first, and I promise it will get better, though it's always sad

RIP Max.

Aww, OP. ((hug))

I think that some people underestimate how much having and losing a pet affects the family. As some of you may already know, my cat Winnie got hit by a car in November 2011. I was absolutely devastated, she was my baby and I suspect that you feel exactly the same about your dog. They really do become a part of the family and it can affect you just as much as the loss of a human.

It does get easier, honestly. I was quite lucky in the sense that Winnie had kittens and we kept one, so I still have a small part of Winnie in her kitten (now fully grown) Bungle. The house did feel empty without Winnie even though we'd not had two cats for very long. I think that the emptiness is the worst part of grief. Maybe you could consider getting another pet at some point? Maybe it would help? Not straight away though, give yourself time to grieve.

Take as long as you need.

Take care ((hug))

That gets my vote, we were in deep trouble unable to move on from losing Duncan early this year but bringing Betty into our home and hearts has been the best healing we could have done.

The pain and the numbness is still here, but after three days it did get a little bit better. I carry a picture of him around wherever I go, so that makes me feel a bit better. Thanks for everything.

These things take time, it's four years since, almost to the day that I lost my older dog and I stil think of her every day, still miss her but am now able to remember some happy times.

It's a reflection of how much they were loved, how much it hurts when they are gone

I'm so sorry for your loss Amazee, and I hope within time you will be able to take some comfort from the wonderful memories and pictures of your beloved boy. However, after loosing 78 pets myself, I can honestly say, at least in my experience, it doesn't get any easier with time, you just learn to cope with it a bit better.

Some people can not bear the though of another pet afterwards, feeling it is like a betrayal almost, whereas others desperately need another to fill the huge void left behind. I am definitely one of the latter, (which is one reason I've had 80 odd over the years), although nothing will ever fill the hole one has left, and could nor would never replace one, I do find it a comfort to have another little bundle to care for. I feel that my pets would be perfectly happy with me giving another little one the same chance and love they themselves had off me, and that they would be more upset if I didn't do so, as there are so many out there needing homes.

With the benefit of hindsight we would all do things differently in all areas of life, but we are not fortune tellers, we cannot turn back time, and you have to remember you were not a nasty cruel person, you loved your dog, so dont look for things to beat yourself up over, its easy to do but please try not to.

As for the grief, it never really goes away just as when we lose a close human, but we learn to live with it and eventually put it in its correct box and at some point we remember with fond thoughts and not just with the pain of loss.

When you knew he was ill you did what you had to do for him as he could not do that himself, and I am sure he thanks you for that , for releasing him from any pain and suffering .

20 years ago a dog of mine died in terrible circumstances. Even thinking about it now brings back the hurt - as well as all those 'if only' guilt feelings.
It's better in that it is not all consuming and that mostly I go about my life without thinking about it. I tend to put such experiences in a special box. Mostly the box goes unopened but if I do lift the lid, it is back with me like it was yesterday.

That's very well put.

As previously said, you don't get over it, you learn to live with it.

This works for me personally and it wont for everyone.....when someone or a pet has died....remember them because in doing so i believe they arent truely dead....They are in your heart and your head you still remember things about them either their touch or smell or a sound.....have a photo and a tealight and when you get upset light the tealight and remember them for a bit and even imagine them there with you.....in doing this you will find that eventually you will light that tealight less and less but in the knowledge that if you ever want to remember them you can....but dont be frightened to think about them....the pain will go but embrace a happy time you had with them and have that memory and experience of them....they can still enrich your life as much or as little as you want.....and when another pet comes along it wont replace the one you lost but will be at a different area of your thoughts....and gradually the thoughts of that missing loved one may fade or get blurry but will be still there when you need them and the memory will make you smile instead of making you sad.......

I hope this helps in a little way....my thoughts are with you and anyone that has had a loss in their life.....

So sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment, as we had to say goodbye to our dog on Friday. He was epileptic and had too many fits the day before. We had to decide whether to bring him home and let him go through it all again (which he would have done) or let him sleep on. It was a hard decision - the feeling of letting him down that you speak of - but it was a terrible thing he was going through and he didn't understand what was happening to him. I'm sure your dog knew you cared for him and were doing the most you could for him. It's just unfortunate that as humans we have the choice whether to keep our animals in pain or let them go till the very end. It would have been worse for you and your dog if he had suffered more and more, putting off the inevitable, so you did what you had to do for your dog. I only wish humans had the choice of being allowed to relieve their suffering in the same way.

Don't feel guilty about getting cross with your dog or any other guilt feelings you might have now. Try to remember and enjoy the happy times you had with Max. We had our cocker spaniel euthanized earlier this year after enjoying her for 2 years as a rescue dog. She enriched our lives so much and it was a dreadful day when we had to take her to the vets but she was dying of a stroke after having had a succession of illnesses since last Christmas that had gradually weakened her. Even now (8 months later) I can not look at the vets when we drive past. We now go to another one!
It took some soul searching as to whether to get another spaniel. We loved Bessie so much and did not want to replace her but I missed having a dog around as did we all. So we got a puppy and she is now 7 months old and has brought some happiness back to us. We will never forget our lovely first spaniel and although I do not get as upset as I did at the start (however I did the other day out of the blue...that sort of thing will happen) I think of her a lot and the memories are just wonderful. You will be fine. May sound a little maudlin but a late relative of ours had a memorial service some time ago and being a dog lover himself someone had written a little note on the back of the service card that read "when you leave this life all the dogs that you have ever owned come racing towards you to greet you in heaven" .

I really feel for you but this only happened on Wednesday. Please give yourself a chance. Guilt is something we all feel under these circumstances. I used to hope that one of my animals would just die naturally. She did and the grief was just as bad. No vet would put to sleep any animal if they disagreed with you. Hang on to that. I does get better and like any awful loss we learn to live with it, I promise.

So sorry.

My cat passed 4 years ago and I thought I couldn't go on, he was 19 and I couldn't remember him not being there. It does get easier, I do still have moments where I get sad and guilty and I still can't really talk about him but they are few and far between. We actually got a new kitten this year and I always said I could never have another one but you have to remember the good times with them.

Our dog Jake passed 5 years ago, and last night we brought a new puppy.

We had 4 years of "we will never have another dog,it will never be the same"

but we had the last 12 months of "maybe one day" and recently it finally felt right,

dont get me wrong-it was not easy, Jakes lead and harness was still hanging up on the peg where its always been-when we got back from the vets that day 5 years ago, my other half hung it there and said that was where it would stay as if it was waiting for him to come home. (oh god im crying again now)

but today, we have Merlin, the most beautiful blue merle border collie ever seen. but we know his big brother Jake will be looking down on him.

Sorry you lost Max.

The grieving will never leave you, but as time goes on you will remember more of the happier times of his 9 years than his final days.

Take care xx