Originally Posted by Tominxster:
“Ah but there lies the problem. Its taken by 'some' people that if the person is attractive then that is the reason, OTT as you put it, that this person gets criticised.
In my younger days I was quite the catch (big head I know) and my mum was a model. My 21 year old daughter is absolutely stunning as well as being an extremely talented musician. Attractive people breed jealously sometimes in others. But those others tend to be a minority and the messed up few. As a whole most people tend to base their opinions on how a person acts, unless the matter is about looks like in a beauty contest.
Therefore I get a bit tired when the way someone looks is used as an excuse as not to be critical of how they behave as one must only think that way because its about a very beautiful woman.
...”
I see it rather differently. So here's something more about how I see things:
[list][*]I don't care all that much whether "jealousy" is the right word or not; but I think that something in the general area of jealousy, envy, and resentment often is involved. For example, quite a few people seem to resent a woman using her looks (or using
only her looks) to get ahead, or to resent the success (fame, money, attention, etc) she gets in that way.
I don't really like resorting to dictionaries, because they can be misleading, but I think this definition of
jealous is helpful here:
1. feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often followed by of ): He was jealous of his rich brother.
2. feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. (often followed by of ): He was jealous of his brother's wealth.
[/list][list][*]I think it's far from clear that people (or all but an ignorable few) base their opinions only on how a person acts, if that means looks aren't a factor.
For a start, there's the dislike of "using" looks already mentioned. That seems to be about behaviour, sure, but looks are clearly involved; and it's (at least most often)
good looks that get that reaction.
Or consider the complaint that Amy acts like she thinks she's entitled. If someone dislikes her because it that, it may look like an opinion based only on how she acts, but it isn't, because an interpretation is built into the description of how she acts. And that interpretation often seems to be influenced by looks and can even be part of a "princess" stereotype that's often applied to good looking young women.
Well how about the complaint that she flicks or fluffs her hair?
That certainly seems to be a plain factual description of behaviour. But what's really so bad about flicking or fluffing your hair, just as an action?
Nothing. The vast majority of complains about hair flicking and fluffing are about good looking women. I don't think that's a coincidence; and people often interpret it as her trying to use, or draw attention to, her looks.[/list][LIST][*]I think there's a lot of evidence that women, especially very good looking young women, tend to be seen more critically, be judged more harshly, and be given a small 'margin or error' when they're in shows like IAC. That's the role looks often have -- that rather than people automatically disliking them because of their looks, or disliking them only because of their looks. And it's part of the explanation of why some good looking women are disliked and others, equally good looking, aren't.[/LIST]
Originally Posted by AOTB:
“Thanks for your reply, and I appreciate your bit at the bottom although I am pretty sure Veri doesn't need me sticking my oar in or fighting their battles. NIce of you to say that though.
I fully accept all your points and can accept that there will be some people who may think that the ONLY reason a pretty girl get's criticised is because they are pretty. From what I can see Veri certainly isn't one of them which was why I replied to you.
...”
I appreciate the support, and you're right that I don't think the the only reason a pretty girl is criticised is her looks. Looks aren't always even a significant factor.
But I think people are often much too quick to dismiss the possibility that looks are affecting opinions, or the possibility that jealousy (or something in that general area) is involved. Looks can work on people in subtle ways, including in ones they're not consciously aware of.