Very insightful post OP.
The time it seems people use it the most is when the person out- dances their favourite.
Actually that's not the only thing they say they someone out-dances their favourite. One person told us what Natalie thinks. Well, I like Natalie and believe I've seen and heard pretty much all the interviews and video clips and I've never heard her say that she thinks she's better than the others. She seems to be a nice young woman; in fact they all do.

How ridiculous. Saying you can't warm to someone is perfectly reasonable! Normal people don't 'hate' or 'dislike' celebrities they see on their TV screen, unless there is good reason to suppose that the celebrity has done something deeply unpleasant. However, you can easily not feel particularly excited by a celebrity. In this case, it would be silly to say you dislike them, but quite acceptable to say that you can't warm to them. It denotes indifference. You're not going to love everyone. If you have to hate or dislike everyone you don't actively love that's a pretty sad state of affairs (not to mention immature).
Last edited by lougarry : 09-12-2013 at 19:12

Haha, after reading this thread I'm wondering if the true test of the 'can't warm to' phrase, lies in whether the person saying it can be found on another thread saying "vain; attention seeking; arrogant; vacuous; botoxed;" or similar. If not, fair enough. If they are airing proper dislike elsewhere, then its mealy mouthed.

A very reasonable tactic for avoiding being called a "jellus hatah".

There are some very presumptuous people on here. How dare they claim that when somebody says they "don't warm to" someone they re being dishonest and that they actually Hate them.

How do you know all this? These are the people who claim to know what so and so is thinking. I wish I had one of those TVs that gave such insight.

For the record:

I don't warm to Natalie or Sophie or Patrick.
I have grown to dislike Artem over the years.
I do not hate any of them (not even Claudia)…I don't know them.
Spot the difference?

As for the others, I have no feelings one way or the other

As I said earlier on the thread, slightly UTI, I wrote a slightly angry post very late last night haha. I thought it would vanish on to the 3rd page by this morning!

Noted, chels. Most of at times say things we later regret or at least how we put them.

No worries

No, that's just everyday what-not-to-wear, a skill which Claudia, all her other talents notwithstanding, has at about the same level as her ability to walk or stand gracefully in high heels.

Or this that another part of her charm? That she's definitely not your conventional TV anchor?

Unfortunately, a few idiots agreed with you :/

Thanks mate

Actually I think it's more commonly with Susanna that people can magically know what she's thinking, meaning or plotting from the expression on her face. Or indeed those who can read the intricacies of Sophie's relationship with Brendan from her face and body language (despite many of those same people simultaneously claiming she's incapable of projecting emotion in that way!).

No, with Natalie it's more that people can make medical diagnoses from their TVs and keyboards that most amazes me. Goodness knows why we bother with doctors and scans and hospitals and all that jazz!

(Actually I think I'd prefer it if Natalie said something like "I started with an advantage over most of the others so that makes me feel I should expect more of myself and work that much harder." Which, come to think of it was much the impression I got from Denise last year, that she felt expectations on her were higher because of where she started. And I respected that. Indeed it wouldn't surprise me if Natalie felt much the same - it's just if she's said it or given that impression then I've managed to miss it!)

It's one of the most used phrases on here

You could say that the very creation of this thread is a passive aggressive attack on those people who have been honest enough to say that they cannot "warm to" one or more of the celebrity dancers

They are perfectly entitled to do so imo.

For the record:

I could not stand Abbey before this started and now I think she is an absolutely gorgeous dancer and I hope she wins.

I always liked Sophie but I just "can't warm" to her dancing - it's still too floppy for my liking.

I was open minded about Natalie at the start but she is too "perfect" for me and I find her a bit annoying.

I did not know anything about Susanna or Kevin before this year. I liked her up to about 3 weeks ago but her dancing is not great these last few weeks, and Kevin is a dote but I find his dancing erratic and childish.

I always liked Patrick but he is flat footed and why the judges love him so much escapes me.

All the above is totally my own personal opinion. I do not hate any of them, I don't know them at all. I don't "love" any of them, either.

I still enjoy the show but only just. It needs to go back to basics and the producers need to stop treating us like idiots who can't make up our own minds - the manipulation by them is ridiculous. And the awful music choices need to stop - let the pros pick the music for goodness sake. Let them do their job.

I find the phrase passive aggressive is quite an overused phrase, much more so than 'I can't warm to..'

Who decides what's a "valid reason" to not like someone or not?


No, not really anything like that. Jealousy is another one of those hugely overused phrases on this forum when someone expresses an opinion someone else doesn't agree with about one of their favourites.

Strangely enough the jealous tag is only thrown in when one dislikes someone who is classed as good looking. It is quite acceptable to dislike less fortunate looking people for reasons other than jealousy ......

Spot on

Yes, I'd prob agree that saying "I can't warm to...." is almost pretty much a polite way of saying 'I don't like....." said person. However it doesn't mean or definitely imply you can't change that opinion of someone later down the line or that the expressing of it it is of malicious intent. Sometimes you can say it with no real feeling, and sometimes there's a lot of feeling behind the "can't warm to" which could then even more in line with expressing along the lines of "will not under any circumstances even try to warm to [said person] due to my own personal prejudice of them that my ignorance or stubbornness will not change [of whatever kind that will be]."

It depends, a saying can have a lot behind it, sometimes not much at all. And the motivation and tone isn't always the same either, which isn't always differentiate between forum communication and real life communication.

BIB Not necessarily. How presumptuous of you to think that !!! Didnt you read this thread at all and see what others had to say about it
WTH

And did you see what the OP had to say later about her original post ???

I cannot warm to this post.


With regard to the OP: the issue is that it was an incorrect generalisation - although in certain specific posts the OP may be right.

It's a hard one isn't it? I think I'd use it to mean "I'm neutral about...not very interested in..." - but people do use the same word to mean very different things. I'm married to an editor, and we often go 10 rounds on very unimportant things like what is meant by colours 'toning'.It's made me realise (15 years in) how aware one has to be that other people may not mean the same thing, despite using the same words, and it's always important to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and ask for clarification.

<---- no idea what this means, but it's cute.

But you can't warm if you have cold blood.
It's a problem for many of the reptiles in DS

<-- dont know what this is, but my cat's offended.
My bear thinks it's great though.

'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.' Lewis Carroll

"I can't warm to" and "Leaves me cold" don't necessarily mean "I don't like."

In my case, anyway, with regard to Strictly, "I can't warm to" means that I don't dislike them, they seem perfectly nice people and I really want be wowed by them but they keep disappointing me in that respect, while "Leaves me cold" means that their lack of chemistry/feeling makes the dance/partnership too clinical and emotionless and therefore leaves me feeling equally emotionless in return.

Phrases like "I can't warm to" and "Leaves me cold" can have a lot of different meanings and aren't all a way for us to fudge the fact that we dislike someone.

This has been one of the most interesting threads I have read for a long time. So many different views expressed, with so many different shades of meaning. I have changed my mind several times, being influenced by what various posters have said. At last, though, I think I know where I stand. I am with those who defend "I can't warm to..." on the basis that this is more polite than saying "I don't like (or worse)", and it leaves room for a change of heart. I knew so few of the celebs when this season started that I really didn't have a favourite for a long time. So it wasn't a matter of liking or disliking, but more of getting to know them, and, yes, warming to them. But there were some that I didn't warm to at all, though to say I didn't like them would not be true. So thank you OP for bringing up the topic - even though I find I do not agree.