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Old 11-12-2013, 22:16
randy3329
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This is my first post in this section so i hope i am doing right by posting.
My darling dog Jessie had to be put to sleep yesterday. She was only 16 months old. She was very very poorly and really did suffer her last few days so I know it was the kindest thing to do, but I feel so guilty. I have 3 young children and she was my youngests best friend. She is so sad and I don't thinks she understands what has happened (she's 3). I was with her when she went and she has been buried in our garden.
I am broken, i have cried myself to sleep, woken up this morning crying. My house feels so empty and i don't know what to do.
Has anyone any advice on what can help my greif? That can help me explain to my daughter better? I just want the pain to go away.

Again im sorry if in wrong section, but i thought i might find someone who can help me here.
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Old 11-12-2013, 22:29
Tiggywink
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Goodness me, you poor things. I can't imagine what was wrong with Jessie to die so young - but obviously it must have been something that would otherwise only have caused utter misery for all concerned if it had gone on. You did the right thing so you should not blame yourself. I think if you have a pet it is really important not to be selfish. I really hate stories about cruelty to animals and that starts for me by simply leaving a dog alone for hours with no company. You sound as if you loved your pet dearly and I am sure you gave her every comfort and your ultimate decision to save her from more discomfort was an act of selflessness.

It is very sad for a child to try and take it in and there are no quick answers - unfortunately it will take time. You will be able to talk about Jessie and look at photos of her one day without too many tears and if you can make your youngest see that it was kinder to Jessie to let her go then that is a step in the right direction. If you asked your child what would you rather have - Jessie still here but suffering, or Jessie gone to a kinder place with no pain and you know what the answer will be.

One day, perhaps sooner than you think, you may even want to try again with another dog. I hope so.
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Old 11-12-2013, 23:01
CaptainObvious_
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Goodness me, you poor things. I can't imagine what was wrong with Jessie to die so young - but obviously it must have been something that would otherwise only have caused utter misery for all concerned if it had gone on. You did the right thing so you should not blame yourself. I think if you have a pet it is really important not to be selfish. I really hate stories about cruelty to animals and that starts for me by simply leaving a dog alone for hours with no company. You sound as if you loved your pet dearly and I am sure you gave her every comfort and your ultimate decision to save her from more discomfort was an act of selflessness.

It is very sad for a child to try and take it in and there are no quick answers - unfortunately it will take time. You will be able to talk about Jessie and look at photos of her one day without too many tears and if you can make your youngest see that it was kinder to Jessie to let her go then that is a step in the right direction. If you asked your child what would you rather have - Jessie still here but suffering, or Jessie gone to a kinder place with no pain and you know what the answer will be.

One day, perhaps sooner than you think, you may even want to try again with another dog. I hope so.
couldn't have put it better myself.

Sorry to hear about poor Jessie OP hope everyone is OK at your end
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Old 11-12-2013, 23:35
randy3329
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Thankyou for your replies.
I know in my heart i done the right thing. Her eventual death would have been slow and painful. I just wasn't prepared to be losing her so young and so suddenly.
I'm just hurting for both myself and my daughter. We have had lots of cuddles and tears together - she helped me make a photo bauble of Jessie for the Xmas tree today which pleased her. My other 2 girls are that bit older to understand.
I know some people will say "its only a dog" but she was such a big part of our family - she was a beautiful black lab who spent so much time having fun with us all.
I am a recovering agoraphobic so throughout her short life she was my solace when all the children were at school. I felt so lonely today
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Old 12-12-2013, 00:10
CaptainObvious_
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Thankyou for your replies.
I know in my heart i done the right thing. Her eventual death would have been slow and painful. I just wasn't prepared to be losing her so young and so suddenly.
I'm just hurting for both myself and my daughter. We have had lots of cuddles and tears together - she helped me make a photo bauble of Jessie for the Xmas tree today which pleased her. My other 2 girls are that bit older to understand.
I know some people will say "its only a dog" but she was such a big part of our family - she was a beautiful black lab who spent so much time having fun with us all.
I am a recovering agoraphobic so throughout her short life she was my solace when all the children were at school. I felt so lonely today
I know what you mean about people saying oh, she's only a dog but pets become a real part of the family & they have their own little personalities, it's hard not to get attached to them especially if they love you back!

a photo bauble is a lovely idea

I know that lonely feeling, it took me a while to get used to not having my cat around sitting on my lap or playing with her

take care
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Old 12-12-2013, 00:32
Cass_Vurtok
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So sorry to hear of your loss OP. It sounds like Jessie was a beloved and loving dog who you and your daughters loved very much. It's gut-wrenching when such a loved pet dies... It's a month to the day now since my lovely golden labrador had to be put to sleep after he got liver cancer, and it has been so hard. The grief I felt was very intense, I never expected it to be so powerful - my dog wasn't just a dog to me, he was a best friend to me, I could talk to him and he would understand me, and all the love I gave to him, he gave back several times over.

Don't feel guilty at all - I did after our dog was put to sleep, but there was no reason for me to feel guilty, and there's no reason for you to feel guilty either - you did the kindest thing for Jessie by putting her out of her suffering.

The photo bauble is a great idea, we made a collage/chart about our dog for the wall with photos and stories, and shared our memories about him, and that really helped - us all talking together/reminiscing about him and expressing our grief to one another, which really did help us.

Jessie was a very lucky dog to have had you all. Again I'm so sorry for your loss.

All the best to you
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Old 12-12-2013, 11:45
molliepops
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It's never easy and losing one so young is a particular hardship. All you can do is take comfort you gave her the best life you could and helped her at the end. I am sure she will be missed for many many years but I promise it will gradually get easier to remember her as vibrant and alive rather than at the end.

As someone else said perhaps one day you will be able to get another dog, that we have always found is the best way to go forward.
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Old 14-12-2013, 00:36
randy3329
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Thank you all. Dare i say things seemed a little easier today - i had the children's Christmas plays so i had something else to focus on. The nights are hard when i am alone with my thoughts - i keep replaying those final moments. The get said that she would guess that Jessie would have a week, 2 at the most left and that it would be slow and painful but i keep asking myself what if she was wrong? I know its ridiculous, i know i did the right thing. I never expected it to be this hard...
My 3 year old had a bad day yesterday. I think its started to sink in that Jessie really isn't coming home. She made a "build a bear" of a black lab today - she's put her old puppy collar on it and is currently snuggled up in bed with her.
I know in time i will have another, once the pain has gotten easier, i worry i will be scared to love another incase it gets cruelly taken from me again
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