So true. People just have buzzwords that shut down all discussion and opinion. Hence all the early responses were accusatory. However if they really thought about it (or better yet FELT about it) they would realise that they are influenced and adhere to the same slant in life, just that their holier than thou officially approved stance doesn't allow for real world thinking.

By the stars! I suppose if you don't have anything nice to say, you should try and keep it to yourself so i'll follow that advice in this instance.

What could one even say to that.

I'll just say i'm astounded by that, and not in a good way. Wow, just wow.

My thoughts exactly!

I addressed that. It's not discernment. It's practicality based in biology. A guy has to be sober enough to get and sustain an erection to satisfy a woman whilst woman just has to be to satisfy a man.

Even if a woman were open to any comers that practicality would still exist. The drunk guy or the one with the mini sized appendage might be incapable of doing the job she wants so would be rejected for practical reasons. In other words women, even those up for group sex, might be more picky because of biological differences. That would explain why all women are welcome at sex clubs but only those with proof that they are up to it - partnered men are allowed in.

I personally think that there is perceived to be actual value in a man pulling. In order for a man to pull on a large scale they generally have to have some level of substance. They have to be confident / funny / dangerous / rich / wellturned out / iinteresting / communicative, maybe all of the above. Generally they have to have some merit in their character or achievements to pull on a large scale. Even the likes of Dappy has number 1 albums, records and sold out tours that justify his status.

Women on the other hand, as long as they are acceptable looking (trust me its a wide gamut depending on the man) and willing to do it they can pull 5 men in 2 hours if they wanted. And let's be honest, get paid for it. Its not a skill for women, hence its not an achievement. In fact, socially its seen as a stigma. Why is a tougher question. Maybe its religion. Maybe its some tenuous link to the fact that sex for women could ultimately result in 9 months of pregnancy so they have to be more responsible about it. I don't know. But there is a difference, certainly in perception, and just because Luisa doesn't agree with doesn't make it a redundant fact of life.

Believing that men and women have an equal right to be promiscuous, or not, is 'holier than thou', but thinking women are slags/whores for doing so and men are legends/studs is not?

Confused thinking!

What you need to do is stop going through life being so offended and startled by human behaviour.

Its holier than thou not to recognise and realise that a different dynamic exists and that there is reasoning for that dynamic.

Unconfused understanding?

I'm only a fan of Grumpy

Jasmine and Luisa's both agreed that there was a difference in perception. The disagreement with Dappy was over whether the discrimination against women who are promiscuous is right or wrong - not about its existence.

No what I said is that men sleeping with lots of women and women sleeping with lots of men is not a linear comparison. There are differences because both scenarios require different approaches, one involves more character and achievement and the other involves more make up and less clothes.

I wouldn't think much of a man who sleeps with 5 women in one night either.


And I hardly think Dappy is in a position to throw stones when it comes to matters of morality.

His is the fact that less women seek promiscuity a valid reason for treating those that do more harshly than men who do the same?

The fact that it happens isn't an adequate excuse for it any more than the fact that wife beating us world-wide means it is OK.

How is that 'holier than thou'?

Those disagreeing with you are being less judgemental than idiots like Dappy and want to live in a fairer society. Call it a 'less sexist than thou' attitude, if you want, but there's nothing 'holy' about it.

I'm not in the business of right and wrong so much but I will say that women pulling men should not be seen in the same light as men pulling women because they takevastly different abilities to achieve. I'm not saying that women who pull a lot should be looked down on as people but I am saying that it isn't a comparable achievement and shouldn't be treated as if it is as Luisa appeared to suggest.

I also say that the harsh judgement on these women comes equally (and maybe more so) from other women as it does from men.

I think that argument us undermined by your pointing out that money is often involved, directly or indirectly. Also me pointing out that they are actually mopping up the vulnerable or drugged.

Please note Dappy trying to maul Jasmjne when she has has a few. An achievement? I think not.
Nor his trying to lure women off the streets in payment for being with someone famous or for more tangible rewards an achievement, in my opinion - though to him it might appear a status symbol

She didn't say it was an achievement. She said it should not judged at all. Jasmine said equally wrong. Dappy said differently for a man or woman.

Would anyone disagree with the OP in that for a completely average women to pull 5 men in one night would take nothing more than pulling her skirt up and letting it be known that she was up for it.

And that for a completely average man, the equivalent would NOT work!

once this is established we can move on.

The point he's making isn't about him being a sexist pig!

Read his post again. Quote where you think he's talking bollox.

Its holier than thou because you are talking to a script. A script that says anything that is good for one is good for the other. If its seen as an achievement for one it should be seen as an achievement for the other. Life just doesn't work in accordance to that script because not everything is equal either by social construct or by natural behaviour.

I will say that I don't think that any woman who puts it about should be chastised. I just think that anyone who does that, male or female, should be honest in their behaviour and not 'scam' someone else out of their feelings. Which brings us to Lee. An @rse of a man who scammed Casey of her feelingsin front of millions and then humiliated her in front of the nation. If he had got it on with her honestly and without pretending that he felt deeply for her his behaviour would have been crass but not knowingly destructive. As such my opinion is that if anyone puts it about a lot male or female, don't take the p!ss. Find like minded people who don't get hurt and let them understand your intentions. Don't spin them lines or inference that youwant a relationship with them. As long as they get it then no scorn should be on you male or female.

But don't pretend that because men get a pat on the back for pulling a lot women should as well because it is not a linear comparison.

But its an achievement to make money right? Unless you are born into wealth earning money means that you possess something of substance that others are willing to pay you a lot of money to obtain. That is an achievement in itself which is understandable attractive to a lot of women.

Not always - perhaps not mostly. It depends in how you make it, whether it is through connections and sometimes luck. In some cases even the luck of being born intelligent or talented.

Let's even take singing. Some hugely talented singer/songwriters will remain jobbing singers and some mediocre boyband member may be hugely famous and rich. But the body of work of the first might be an achievement and that of the second an embarrassment.

Were the Cuban all stars work not an achievement just because they only received acknowledgment and reward in their 80s

I agree that Dappy thinks so which is why he was in court for assaulting those women for "disrespecting" him by not being willing to party with him.

Recognition by whom? I bet they were getting groupies from the first show.

They were retired and largely forgotten and not rich after working as musicians for decades. Only a documentary about Cuban music brought them recognition enough to be financially successful.

What does this even mean?