Are you saying that year's of therapy makes people WORSE??! I'm afraid I have to disagree on behalf of the fantastic profession of psychotherapy.

I know he is not perfect but it seems he is actually displaying some positive changes like trying to build bridges and get stuff out in the open.

Yeah, you called it. He "played her like a fiddle", that's the rather unfortunate part. Uncomfortable viewing being powerless and sitting through someone being played like that, although he didn't play it as great as he thinks. He went too far with the stuff about the husband which could cause a bit of backlash.

How about him trying to let others know exactly why she has been venomous from the start. I.e bringing up past history than the others has no knowledge of. Why should he keep schtumm after days and days of goading. Also it was linda who brought up the fact that Her husband was dead not Jim.

Jim to win.

No, i'm just saying some people who have been in therapy awhile can develop these aspects to their character. I've personally known a few. They sort of become immersed in those aspects of therapy and become knowledgeable in it as a by product of being a part of it, if that makes any sense.

They will oftentimes try and analyze others or treat others in a similar way as they experience in the therapy.

This would cause them to be able to remain very calm in confrontations with others in a very passive aggressive way, in being able to slightly manipulate people (especially people easy to become emotional) and know how to push buttons.

I don't know how to explain it exactly but they sort of amateurishly pick up techniques and aspects to the therapy.

And the passive aggression/control oftentimes replaces other aspects, where there's a great need for that control.

Again this is pure speculation on my part through observation of people i've known like this, i don't have any kind of proof of this.

Totally agree.

This they know something about each other and this woman/wench has been trying to provoke the man(jim) from the start.

I understand what you are saying but I don't interpret his behaviour in the same way as you do. ANYONE on the receiving end of the goading Linda has been doing would be angry and want to snap back. He has clearly been learning self control and trying to remain calm, has been trying to bring the problem out into the open, attempting to be friendly, avoiding arguments by walking away to discuss later when everyone calmed down. Would you think it better that he just let rip every time she prods him? The difficulty is that whatever he does SHE will never let the past go and said as much tonight, I doubt even the most sorted person could handle that except by walking away.

Well, see i interpret the walking away as a manipulation in itself. Again, it's another form of control. He maintains complete control of the situation in the way he walks off. It's all about control with him.

He strikes me as the type who can handle himself perfectly fine without a great need in removing himself from a situation, since most of these situations are indeed situations he himself created through passive aggressive manipulation, why would he want to anyhow? He will oftentimes leave, then return as long as he's in control just like he did tonight.

Cmon, now.. he could deal with Linda.. she's harmless. He knows how to push her buttons and get her going.

He knows how to ignite a fire within a situation and remain calm and not get burnt by it. This time he messed up and went a step too far, he might get a little bit burnt this time.

Can you imagine him EVER daring to treat a man like that?

I agree with all of that. Well said.

Walking away and patronising dismissals can be infuriating; I think they're attempts to wind her up (and they work too).

I find it worrying myself.

Exactly. He's a rank coward. Would he dare speak about any man's deceased wife in that manner?

I'm with you. I noticed how he walked away and into the garden to tell his audience how surprised he was about her unexpectedly lashing out at him. And then for some unknown reason he returned to the kitchen and wandered across in front of her as though waiting for her to bite. But she didn't. So he approached her, took her bowl and engaged in dialogue to start it all off again. And then he returned to his audience again.

Anyone in the kitchen would merely witness Jim clearing away after a meal and think it's totally innocent. But if you've just had a row, why would you return to the scene and then engage again? He was prodding at her!

Ok If you were him, how would you respond when she starts having a dig? From what I have observed, as soon as he responds to her in any way at all she just ups the ante spoiling for a fight. They are in an enclosed environment, it is less agressive to walk away and avoid fighting and argument surely?

Yup, exactly! Glad i'm not the only one seeing that!

He did it in the bedroom as well, he masks it as this calm, innocent "don't know what's going on" act when he knows full well what's going on.

Also he knows that in such a fiery, explosive situation that even his presence could set something off and he will come out looking like the innocent within the scenario because he was just innocently, calmly going about.
[in how he leaves, then returns back to it]

If i were him and didn't want to engage in that situation i wouldn't cause the situation in the first place.

Rather like Linda "hearing things" that Jim simply didnt say.

You truly believe that she's not starting it? The Luisa (man in the house)conversation tonight for example; Linda jumped in when Luisa is perfectly capable of answering for herself. So, when she starts it, what would you do?

Honestly believe that in all of these type of situations he's involved with, he is the cause of just about all of them. His extreme need for control makes it so IMO.

I think he was throwing that grenade (hideous comment about "no man in your life" ruining the nice, positive moment) in there as either knowing it would be something Linda would jump at, or just to control the moment, or for noone in particular but to get get a reaction from one of them, and control the moment.

It pains me to give him so much credit but i perceive him to be quite the sly, underhanded, manipulative person who's very capable of such things.

Why so desperate to deflect any criticism/turn things back on Linda? She misheard, he lied. Even if she also lied, it doesn't excuse what he did.

I think you may well be right.

It fits a lot of what I've seen during this CBB.

Spot on! Always with the women too.

Unless Jim was involved in the dressing room incident and/or the resulting court case I don't see how that incident could explain why Linda doesn't like Jim.
It does seem very much as though Jim was rather vindictive in mentioning that to Luisa.
Of course if Linda's dislike of Jim is somehow linked to the specific incident in the dressing room then I'll willingly change my opinion on why he made the comment.

I should take over for Judi James! Haha joking.

Keep in mind i'm totally speculating, i could be completely off and it's possible he could just be a bumbling doofus/idiot, accidentally finding himself in these situations and trying to get out... but can't quite figure out how.

And yeah, it does seem to be mostly against the Females. Could be that Females can be quicker to emotion at times and he feels more comfortable or confident at pushing their buttons and exerting control. Or perhaps he simply has deep rooted Female issues and has some strange need to control them, or have power over them in pushing their buttons and making them explode with emotion and looking bad, being the cause/in control of it all... and/or whatever. *Shrug*.