What - you have no personality, are as bland as toast and add nothing remotely entertaining? Or that other thing she mentioned...
I have the same condition as Liz
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Originally Posted by doe_a_deer:
“Wow, I'd never stopped and analyzed my situation before, let alone put it into words but Liz's description last night of her own personal circumstances match exactly with what I'm currently going through. I wouldn't have even thought it was a condition which other people had experienced, I assumed it was just my way of seeing things but I feel better hearing Liz exactly describing my situation as that means it must be a genuine and perhaps common and curable condition.
If I can elaborate a bit, I am a male in my late 20s and I have isolated myself from getting into relationships and now am isolating myself from friends for the exact sort of reasons as Liz described as her reasons for not having sex until she was 32. So, my thinking is for example 'I will have a relationship/see my friends again in the future when I am the correct body shape/when I have a good haircut/when I have a nice wardrobe of clothes to wear/when I am confident/when I have a good job' etc etc. I haven't always thought this way, just gradually getting worse over the past few years. Bad enough to avoid relationships because of this thinking but to now be isolating myself from my previous friendships and potential new friendships because of it is very lonely indeed. I have many female friends who have tried to set me up with girls but I always make excuses when really I'm thinking 'I can't have a relationship now, I must wait until I'm the correct weight/until I have all the clothes I want/until I have a new TV' etc, basically 'I can't have a relationship until my life is perfect.'
Obviously this is in some way depression/anxiety/whatever related but I hadn't heard such a specific description which matched my exact scenario until Liz tonight. Is there anyone on here who has been through similar or is an expert in the relevant field - would it be psychology? - who could answer a few questions for me?
1. What would you call this? Is it some kind of perfectionism? Is that a word? I would understand people wanting perfection too much but why shy away from relationships and friendships because of the lack of perfection?
2. Where would this condition originate or stem from? What could possibly have occurred in childhood to cause this constant striving for unattainable levels of perfection?
3. How do I go about 'curing' this or at least regulating it to the point where it isn't ruining my life?
I have become a recluse over the last 6 months because of this and had believed it was simply 'depression' I was battling. Whilst I am fairly confident it is depression-related, this is the first time I have heard someone describe most of my specific issues so any information/help with regards to what Liz said would be appreciated. Thanks.
Please do not hesitate to ask if you require further information from me. I'm aware this probably isn't the correct thread for such discussion but most of the people in here will have heard Liz's original comments on the subject so will be best placed to know exactly what I'm talking about.”
“Wow, I'd never stopped and analyzed my situation before, let alone put it into words but Liz's description last night of her own personal circumstances match exactly with what I'm currently going through. I wouldn't have even thought it was a condition which other people had experienced, I assumed it was just my way of seeing things but I feel better hearing Liz exactly describing my situation as that means it must be a genuine and perhaps common and curable condition.
If I can elaborate a bit, I am a male in my late 20s and I have isolated myself from getting into relationships and now am isolating myself from friends for the exact sort of reasons as Liz described as her reasons for not having sex until she was 32. So, my thinking is for example 'I will have a relationship/see my friends again in the future when I am the correct body shape/when I have a good haircut/when I have a nice wardrobe of clothes to wear/when I am confident/when I have a good job' etc etc. I haven't always thought this way, just gradually getting worse over the past few years. Bad enough to avoid relationships because of this thinking but to now be isolating myself from my previous friendships and potential new friendships because of it is very lonely indeed. I have many female friends who have tried to set me up with girls but I always make excuses when really I'm thinking 'I can't have a relationship now, I must wait until I'm the correct weight/until I have all the clothes I want/until I have a new TV' etc, basically 'I can't have a relationship until my life is perfect.'
Obviously this is in some way depression/anxiety/whatever related but I hadn't heard such a specific description which matched my exact scenario until Liz tonight. Is there anyone on here who has been through similar or is an expert in the relevant field - would it be psychology? - who could answer a few questions for me?
1. What would you call this? Is it some kind of perfectionism? Is that a word? I would understand people wanting perfection too much but why shy away from relationships and friendships because of the lack of perfection?
2. Where would this condition originate or stem from? What could possibly have occurred in childhood to cause this constant striving for unattainable levels of perfection?
3. How do I go about 'curing' this or at least regulating it to the point where it isn't ruining my life?
I have become a recluse over the last 6 months because of this and had believed it was simply 'depression' I was battling. Whilst I am fairly confident it is depression-related, this is the first time I have heard someone describe most of my specific issues so any information/help with regards to what Liz said would be appreciated. Thanks.
Please do not hesitate to ask if you require further information from me. I'm aware this probably isn't the correct thread for such discussion but most of the people in here will have heard Liz's original comments on the subject so will be best placed to know exactly what I'm talking about.”
I think Liz might have Asperger's Syndrome.
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