Here's one for ya:

What did the bailiff say when he found that squatters had inhabited his relative's house?

"You have been evicted, please leave my big brother's house"

Jade's planning a trip to America.

She phones up an airline to enquire about flights.

"Aw right, it's Jade 'ere off Big Brover, you know me, I'm aways on the front of 'Ello (cackle) 'ere 'ow long are your flights from England to Americaa?"

"Just a minute..." the woman on the other end of the phone says.

"Fanks" says Jade and hangs up the phone.

How many housemates does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of em.
The taskmaster must split the house into two teams. Team B must blindfold team A and direct them to the designated lightbulb zone. If at any point team A veer off course, or team B cant decide which way to steer them then the taskmaster must answer one question correctly. Three wrong answers and Big Brother will forfeit the lightbulb. The 3 minutes starts...NOW

How many housemates does it take to change a lighbulb?

Week 1: just the one "I'll go!"
Week 2: the two best friends do it together
Weeks 3-4: someone
Weeks 5-6: anyone
Weeks 7-8: whoever
Week 9: I'm bored, got any more need changing?

knock! knock!..

"who's there?"

"this..Is..Davina!"

"yeh uh noh"

(sry..i know it's a bit slack)

Marco; Nadia would you like to dress up as a man for a week.

Nadia; I'm to girly to become a man.

Knock! Knock!

'Who's there?'

'Vanessa'

'Vanessa who?'


'Yes, that one'

Twelve.

One to change the lightbulb and eleven to argue about what the 'How To Change A Lightbulb' laminate means.

Kate and Cameron winning.

Jade Goody

Nadia meets Jackie Stallone:

"MUMMY!!!!!"

ok

heres one i made up a while ago (its a BB1 joke)...i have posted it before but...

what did craig say to nasty nick upon realising that the wall-mounted book-holding ledge nick had made for him was uneven?

"i'm very dishappointed in your shelf, nick"

lol..............that's more like it

it works better when i "do the voice"

Bless Craig. I did spend the first week wondering who the hell "Shardeh" was

Twelve. One to change the lightbulb and the other eleven to claim that the changing of the lightbulb wasn't edited in their favour.

The voiceover man in BB3:

Daaaaaayyyyy thorty-fower in the Big Bruther house. Kaaaaaaaayyyyyyte, Jaaaaaaayyyyyyyde, Peeeeeeeee-Jaaaaaaaaayyyyyy and jonny faaaaaayyyyyyce the public vooooooote. I hooooooope jonny staaaaaaayyyyyyys cuz it divvent tek me aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrl deeeeaaaaayyy to saaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy his naaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyme.

Nadia; Im foreign.
Yet I speak better english than you.

Jade; I never knew there is a country called foreign.

Nadia; Uh Uh Uh

Jade; what does that mean?

Did Jade feel any better when she discovered the house had its own Dairy Room?

Stu; Knock Knock

Michelle; Who's there?

Stu; It's Stu, chicken.

Michelle; What? Chicken stew?

Stu; No I said it's Stu, chicken.



worthy of a christmas cracker.

Adele: Knock Knock

Jade: Is there somebody at the door?

Adele: Nooo, knock knock!

Jade: No knock knock - so there's nobody at the door?

Adele: Oh forget it.

Jeff: Shouldn't we use a condom as it's our first time?

Jade: Nah it's Ok.I'm on the pill. We don't have to.

haha! i actually did laugh out loud!

Marco: Yoo-hoo, knock kno-ooooock!

Dan: It's Marco, he's got the wrong door - he's 5 blocks away. Everyone shhhhh....

Ahmed: I HATE him!!!

Dan: Ahmed be QUIET!