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The Derek Branning in every bloody SL thread......


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Old 09-03-2014, 18:49
T.K. Mazin
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LOL Scrabslav

Derek started the rumour that Phil and Shirley were in love as a way of winding up the whole of DS!
Scrablav will be the greatest love story since Shannis .

Haha . Could Derek be Monalisa?
Could explain a lot .


Derek caused the Clone Wars in Star Wars by getting his brother Jack to impregnate every blonde woman in the Galaxy and spawning an army from his children .
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Old 09-03-2014, 18:50
maurice45
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Derek created American Football in order to brainwash Americans into hating 'soccer'.
Derek called American Football "football" because he was too drunk to know the difference between a hand and a foot.
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Old 09-03-2014, 18:54
maurice45
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Scrablav will be the greatest love story since Shannis .

Haha . Could Derek be Monalisa?
Could explain a lot .


Derek caused the Clone Wars in Star Wars by getting his brother Jack to impregnate every blonde woman in the Galaxy and spawning an army from his children .
Lol, let's hope Vaslav doesn't leave him for Tommy Steele

Derek re-designed the forum and was responsible for bringing us those awful jammie dodger smileys
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Old 09-03-2014, 18:55
T.K. Mazin
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Derek called American Football "football" because he was too drunk to know the difference between a hand and a foot.
! Derek is also responsible for the Foot & Mouth disease .


Derek sold cocaine to Maradona, which led to him being banned from the 1994 World Cup. What a dick .
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Old 09-03-2014, 18:56
maurice45
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!


Derek sold cocaine to Maradona, which led to him being banned from the 1994 World Cup. What a dick .
Haha

Derek's also responsible for Maradona's infamous Hand Of God
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Old 09-03-2014, 19:03
T.K. Mazin
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Lol, let's hope Vaslav doesn't leave him for Tommy Steele

Derek re-designed the forum and was responsible for bringing us those awful jammie dodger smileys
Oh, I think it's only a matter of time before vaslav leaves him for either Tommy Steele or Jamie Lomas .


Derek deserves to get the electric chair for bringing us those hideous smilies .



When Derek landed on the moon as part of NASA's latest space mission, his mother explained with emotional tears how proud she was to be finally rid of him.
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Old 09-03-2014, 19:08
maurice45
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Oh, I think it's only a matter of time before vaslav leaves him for either Tommy Steele or Jamie Lomas .


Derek deserves to get the electric chair for bringing us those hideous smilies .



When Derek landed on the moon as part of NASA's latest space mission, his mother explained how proud she was to be rid of him


Derek tried injecting himself with Bruce Banner's DNA. He didn't turn into a huge raging monster, but instead became an unbearable racist monster with a chip fat addiction.
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Old 09-03-2014, 19:17
T.K. Mazin
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Derek tried injecting himself with Bruce Banner's DNA. He didn't turn into a huge raging monster, but instead became an unbearable racist monster with a chip fat addiction.
Haha! . The Incredible Racist .


Derek created the Mayan calendar as a April's Fool joke in order to scare the Mayans into thinking the world was going to end in 2012 .
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Old 09-03-2014, 19:20
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Derek caused Climate Change by unleashing his sweaty armpits on the world.
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Old 09-03-2014, 19:54
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Ah.
Well, good to have you back . Nobody can break up the M-Team = Maurce & Mazin


Derek farted and made the sun go supernova . I think I said this one already lol.
Sorcha did try to break you both up, but she could not wedge you two lovers apart.

Lol good one

M-Team is more awesome than both the A-Team and the Power Rangers! But we probably shouldn't point that to Scrabbler...(I bet he's round Vaslav's for a late Sunday Lunch

Derek killed Trina and Owen and framed Lucas
Yes I did pop round to Vaslavs but he kept talking about Cora so I had to shove the roast turkey on his head and it got stuck.

Haha . We need our own theme tune like the A-Team
Scrabbler and Vaslav are like Max and Tanya, always falling out and making up after a few days.


Which brings me to the next one...
Derek and Scrabbler had a hot, steamy affair .
I know! I am so ashamed of myself, but Wind In The Willows was my fave book as a child and when I saw that Toad was now calling himself Derek branning I fell for his charms. I'm still having to go to the clinic quite regularly though.

LOL Scrabslav

Derek started the rumour that Phil and Shirley were in love as a way of winding up the whole of DS!
Scrabslav sounds like a toilet cleaner. Stop using my name in that way or I shall tell Carly Wicks about your indiscretion with those three nuns, the bowl of custard and the fluffy pink handcuffs.
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Old 11-03-2014, 19:10
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Derek decided to put Jake and Max together.
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Old 11-03-2014, 19:20
sorcha_healy27
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Derek Branning is the father of one of Kat's twins
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Old 11-03-2014, 19:23
maurice45
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Derek doesn't believe in the concept of "abroad"
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Old 11-03-2014, 19:27
sorcha_healy27
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To atone for past sins, Derek has been reincarnated as Mick Carter's dog Lady Di.
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Old 11-03-2014, 19:30
maurice45
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To atone for past sins, Derek has been reincarnated as Mick Carter's dog Lady Di.


Derek once tried running for the post of MP of Walford. He got no votes and was beated by the old Amy Mitchell, Den Watt's gravestone and Wellard.
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Old 11-03-2014, 19:54
T.K. Mazin
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To atone for past sins, Derek has been reincarnated as Mick Carter's dog Lady Di.
Lol .


Derek caused tensions between Ukraine and Russia by sleeping with Putin's wife and blaming it on the Ukrainian Prime Minister .
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Old 11-03-2014, 20:02
sorcha_healy27
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Lol .


Derek caused tensions between Ukraine and Russia by sleeping with Putin's wife and blaming it on the Ukrainian Prime Minister .


There was inCRIMEANating evidence



Derek once tried running for the post of MP of Walford. He got no votes and was beated by the old Amy Mitchell, Den Watt's gravestone and Wellard.


The UKIP declined his membership application too
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:00
MutantX
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Derek Branning Killed Lucy Beale
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:03
priscilla
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Derek Branning is the new manager of Man United.
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:08
T.K. Mazin
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Derek Branning is the new manager of Man United.
Nooooo!

Derek got David Moyes sacked .
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:12
priscilla
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Nooooo!

Derek got David Moyes sacked .
Yes, he ran him out of the training ground and told him never to return, he then took his job.
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:12
T.K. Mazin
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Derek caused the X-Men to travel back in time via an almighty fart .
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:17
priscilla
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Derek has a dark secret... he colours his hair with shoe polish.
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:18
thejoyof_pat
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Remember that time we all thought he was a serial rapist.
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Old 24-05-2014, 15:14
J-B
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Derek is Mick Carters father.
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