Wouldn't you like to know

I'm smart...sometimes

Had the most great night tonight with my youngest and all my family for a fantastic meal out for her 21st. She is off out clubbing now

Can I lie in tomorrow?

Yay glad you had a wonderful time Mrs T

I hope your daughter has the day off work Mrs T If she's been up all night being a cheesy quaver she will need to sleep it off

Ey oop

On Friday night the pub's holding a pickled onion contest I've been invited by someone who reckons his entry is sure to win

I don't know if they're judged on size or flavour

I finished proof-reading all the poems for the book recently. It looks like a post-Xmas release date now, hopefully January

To celebrate, I'm sending an ode off to the Daily Mail - it'll be nice to occupy the home of Garfield again

you is a smart friend you pander to my whimsicle Narcissistic Personality Disorder which make you S A M R T smart.

I'm afraid I couldn't bring myself to purchase a copy of the Daily Fail even for you, musty

I think i shoulds i am after all there target audience

Yes, they'd LOeV you!!

hiding yourself,being unseen,
Life is a lie.when breathing is lieing
being A you rather than me.
it really isnt easy being green.

THIS is you isn't it

you found out ...
im so glad i wasnt kermmit he. jim hensons never filed his nails

e2a: she has a cute bum

Imagine those talons up yer howsyafather. No wonder Kermit had a squeaky voice

theres this ["OTHER" website i am a member off and you need to write a profile for it and this is mine... I think it sums me up pretty well

Greetings Fellow Strangelings
OR if perchance you are a LOOKING FOR SEX Please read above as "**** OFF"
scratching the tranny itch for 5 years now and its still freekin itchy.

:::::::ADMIRERS READ THIS:::::::::::
1) I DO NOT MEET FOR SEX EVER!!!!
2) I am fairly humorous at times
3) I don't Like Body Hair
4) If you really knew me then you`d just **** off!
5) I AM as important as you are insignificant.
6)It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

don't confuse me with someone who gives a shit what you think.

**** YOU, I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!

Build:- is thin
height:- 6` 2"
body:- good condition for age ( that should read reasonable condition broke a bit a while ago)
legs :- long thin smooth
arms:- as above
Eyes:- blue /green (with some wierd ass yellow ring)
age:- old enough to know better ( ffs I`m 50 now!)
Hair colour:- brown (well nearly grey now )
face:- horse like or as has been said recently, " like a bulldog licking piss of an electric fence"
teeth:- as above
hobbies :- go figure
personality:- NONE
Disposition:- attention seeking and shallow and the propensity to over use brackets ()

I recently I spent a while looking for a pigeon hole that id fit into, in the old T spectrum type thing.
Then it dawned on me !
Lunatic was probably best.

"do not use mirrors for reinforcing the way you feel as to the way you look ,You`ll only be disappointed"

"Painted faces, build the places I can't reach"

" The body part that defines you as a person is between your ears, NOT between your legs"
(anon)

"touched by the truth of life, and the lies covered over with love"

"you know your hard core when you let a whistling Pigmy give you a coconut milk enema "

"disparate and desperate is not the same thing getting them confused Will get you a punch in the face!"

"**** me I'm a MAN! is possibly the wrong thing to say in a gay bar"

"Culture" is to make a nice drinking bowl from one's enemy's skull.
"Civilization" is to go to prison for that.
(Anon)

never forget it takes BALLS to be a crossdresser.

"Life.
you live it
you learn it
you can't be taught it!"

"it can get crowded sometimes in the space between my ears but external to that it can get really lonely."
(S.O.S)

hiding yourself,being unseen,
Life is a lie.when breathing is lieing
being A you rather than me.
it really isnt easy being green.

"never fly without cruet"
(Roberto Canessa)

"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks"

I'm getting so sick of girls in the street telling their friends my names A-man-duh!

Thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs i see a priest a nurse and assorted cheese figurines painting fireflies on a rear end of a giant puce giraffe.

"homophobia is not a phobia. They are not scared, they are just a bunch of assholes"
(Jon Gnarr)

"Yes I have opinions ,But they are mine and I'm a greedy cow"

"fight apathy, or don't"

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" (Bertrand Russell )

"My names Johnny Depp and I kill people"

"My limbic system wants to take your pants off."

"I hate censorship....
everybody has the right to be offended by me!"

"watching in the mirror with my longing eyes"

"I can't wait to get to the age where people assume I'm just senile and not a ****ing weirdo."

"You no help me now, I say, **** you Jobu, I do it myself" (Pedro Cerrano)

"bullet proof your psyche and just accept that shit happens.."

lemsip is an anagram of simple

Flatulence won't win you many friends but it sure does help keep your personal space from being invaded

"This is depression, it comes when your blocking. This is expression it comes when you're rocking" - (Grace Jones)

"Boredom has me in it`s icy grip, pulled down my panties and rogered me with apathy"
( Sonia Orla Storm)

ha ha ha clump the sound you make while laffing your head of
ha ha ha clump clump the sound you make laffing your tits off
OH F U C K the sound you make while everybody is laffing at you making a tit of yourself

don`t share your problems 20% don't care 80% are glad you got them

to paraphrase Kermit "it isn`t easy being a ****"

its took me 50 years but i think i get it now
you get born,
shit happens,
then you die !
its not how you deal with the shit that's important is how the world deals with you dealing with the shit.

I think the best insult i have ever recieved was "is that a big nose or a small penis on your face"

LMAO!! I am literally crying with larfter!!

i think you agree
it sorta sums me up ya ?

YOu have succinctly precis-ed yourself my dear, with great courage and no holding back. Most folks dont manage that level of honesty on the interwebs

Evening all

I've had a busy day for someone not working Had a terrible night's sleep so didn't stir til almost midday woooooooooops. But got up etc, my sis came round and we had Pizza Then we did some more searching for my Mum's lost necklace (she's found it since) before she went home. I washed the hamster's cage and did the bins. Oh and he ESCAPED AGAIN After that I spent about 4 hours wrapping a ton of Christmas presents. Bar one I have FINISHED Ate chicken curry and a stuffed mushroom before going back to my Mum's work for a few things and got some money out...Came home, wrapped up a present I'd missed and put the remaining tags on. Now watching telly and trying not to scratch my eczema

Evening Crazy, am watching Kids Hospital at Christmas.....very inspiring!

Ooooooh bugger meant to set that to record

Got home at 8 tonight, 12 hours after I went out so completely shattered. Watched The Missing, which I have so enjoyed and the last episode is next week, I cannot wait for the conclusion

The Nativity was brilliant, I so loved our rapping King's Helper even though he was not meant to! One of the camel's was eating his costume much to a mum's despair

Hugs to all

Well done MRs T and Reception

I'm done for Crazy, utterly exhausted great stuff though, I love them to pieces

I bet you are