Morning all,

Well it's not as cold today so have my window thrown open I cannot believe how fast this week has gone but another week to look forward to.

Just been to do my shopping, having a cuppa then meeting a fellow Gateshead fan for a coffee at 12.

Good day so far

*runs through thread like a loon throwing confetti made of destroyed Pilchard calendars everywhere*

Brilliant Have a great day Eugene


You think you can outwit me Twassy

Sounds like you three are having a lovely busy day I'm not again opps!

C'MON PHONE RINNNNNNNG WITH GOOD NEWS!

I'm not feeling quite well right now. I can feel a full blown panic attack brewing. It's all because of a stupid half dream that brought back an old phobia I had managed to put right at the very back of my mind for years (I've had it since my early teens). It might be my upcoming 34th birthday that's set if off.
It's not even a phobia that can be solved by facing the issue head on. That's the last thing I want to do. It's a phobia that can't really be solved that way. All I can do is try to occupy my mind elsewhere and hope those thoughts return to the recess of my mind.

I've never admitted this to anyone at all but perhaps if I say it it might help. My phobia is of the inevitability of my own death and the eternal nothingness that follows. I wish I had some religious faith to hide behind but I'm also a pragmatist. I just do things then oh I suddenly i think what if I die in the next moment or in the next day or next year. This could be the last thing I ever do before I can't do anything at all ever again. And I know I can't do anything AT ALL about it because death IS inevitable whatever may come or not after that. It's not like going to sleep and waking up. You don't get to wake up ever.

Thought typing that would get some of it out of my system. Nothing yet but I have put it behind me before. Maybe I should watch a movie or play a computer game to keep me distracted?

I hope you don't have a panic attack CB ((((CB)))) They are horrific.

I can understand that phobia. A lot of people say you should live everyday like it's your last and to some extent I agree It's not always easy though. Since getting better I've tried to make myself do new challenges and do everything I want to whilst I can.

Thanks Crazy. I think it's abated a little though because I typed it out or tried a distraction I don't know.

Making the most of my life isn't really going to help my thought process on this though. I would rather just live my life how I want and not try to achieve things for the sake of it. The last thing I want to do is think of every day as my last. Lol at the irony of that though.

Afternoon all peeps. It was brave of you to share that CB but I think, wise. Sometimes things shared lose their so called 'power' a bit. We are all entitled to our own beliefs and no one can put theirs onto another person but what I do feel quite strongly is that our death mostly affects those left behind, not ourselves personally. It's another realm entirely.

Having recently been with my mother as she passed it really is as I always suspected....once the soul has gone the mortal body is just a shell. The person you knew and loved has vacated the building. Now where that soul goes and what adventures it then has if any is a mystery none of us can know for certain. However, I know I believe it's not the end and I have my reasons for that.

A trick I was once told about was, if you are very anxious and stressed pretend you have an uninflated balloon in your hand, if if you have a real one so much the better! Breathe in and feel your anxiety fill your lungs, then expel it into the balloon, all of it, out of you and into the balloon. Then tie it off and just let it go out of the window. It will just blow away and probably some child will find it or it will pop on a rose bush

You're welcome and that's good That's understandable. Just do whatever you want to do CB



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Found out an hour ago I didn't get the job meh

Aww bad luck Crazy, better luck next time though.....

Just fetched daughter and pal, they are frolicking about in the garden now like two mad little creatures! You'd never think they were in their mid twenties Mind you, the G&Ts in their hands give their ages away a bit Also got my train tickets out of the machine for next week, WOO HOOOO!

I think one of the most important things is not to hide but to share it as you have done. You cannot help what triggers it nor can you help how it effects you. Sharing however gives you an opportunity to lessen the anxiety and possibly feel less isolated in experiencing those thoughts and feelings. If people tell you that they understand, which I and others do, then in my mind it gives some comfort. My lovely friend and colleague hid hers for years until a short while ago when she had a bad 'do'. She thought that people would not understand, as it was she was barraged with understanding, support and various tales from various people of their experiences.

I've learned to laugh about mine afterwards, it doesn't help at the time of course but it in some ways has lessened the fear of them. Sending *hugs*



Sorry to hear that Crazy, don't give up Chuck xx

I had Washing Machine in my head when I just read about your tickets Twass then it clicked and Wooooooooooooooo

I'm going to have a little meander to the shop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM3KYWCx99E

Thank you and awwwww YAY FOR TICKETS


I won't, I feel better now. Was sad earlier. It feels like the most stupidest reason but in my heart I knew if anything was going tobe my downfall it'd probably be what it was.

Lol what you like You back from the shop yet?

I was watching the footy too Crazy.

You will feel sad about it, it's the norm. My youngest got so despondent and just kept plugging at it, she got a job in the end, only part time with studying but money in her pocket. You will do it, you have great skills

*taps feet*

that dangerooos it may drop orf

No ........ BGT ? ....... I reckon auld pat & nico will win the lot !

No it's tomorrow Sleeps, I think auld pat is injured Well it's to be expected at that age with some young fit man throwing you around

'But, But, But, .......... Bobs an auld git, I must be missing something ? .......... but hay -hoy

Not me ya lunatic nor Robert, my hips are fine

Me and Robert are youngISH and have won awards for our dancing prowess, I can chuck him over me shoulders like a piece of meat

Sod off you

I'm sure Robert is a young Adonis on the quiet

An ageing old fart would be nearer the mark

With a dicky ticker maybe?

*plots*