The funny nicknames given to pop stars by Smash Hits in the 80s?

For instance...

Ben Volpoliere Pierrot became 'Volleyball Pingpong'

Rick Astley become 'Dick Spatsley'

Sir Paul McCartney became 'Fab Wacky Macca Thumbs aloft'.

It always made me chuckle when I read these nicknames!

Mark unpronouncable name from Big Country!

Olivia Neutron Bomb

Natalie Imbruglia - Natalie Umbrella Stand

"Sir Clifford of Richard", which I have used ever since.

Yes, Mark preposterous surname!

Brzezecki or something wasn't it?

Pretty sure that nickname was around before Smash Hits.

Chloe O'Brian is probably hacking into your hard drive now!

The were still doing it in the 90s e.g. Christina Aqualibra.

That was it! I always coveted a black type tea towel.

I seem to remember Ben Volkswagen Polo.

Olivia Neutron Bomb sounds like something Kenny Everett might have come off with. Actually wasn't it Olivia Neutron Bomb & John Revolting?

So did i!

Lol!

I remembered another,

Stephen 'TinTin' Duffy became Stephen 'TeaTowel' Duffy!

Pmsl!

Damn I thought I had thought of that first.

I miss those days. Life as an adult is no where near as fun.

It wasn't a Smash Hits nickname anyway.

I couldn't remember any more myself so I googled more.

Dame David Bowie

Dame Frederick of Lucan (Freddy Mercury)

Bros were known as Matt, Luke & Ken. Ken being "Craig" but as he was considered irrelevant to the group they just called him by a random name.

There was also "Sir Billiam of Idol", plus "Lord Frederick of Lucan" of course... I think Black Type was Neil Tennant (before Pet Shop Boys), wasn't it?

(PS NME used to do it too - Bryan Ferry was Byron Ferrari)

Yes! I loved Smash Hits, they had a great sense of humour and took the pee out of pop stars something rotten.

Sir Billiam of idol was fabulous!

Ben Vol-au-vent-Parrot

Broccoli Spears

I remember they used to call Patsy Kensit 'Cheesy Wosit'


I also remember that for some unknown reason Viz Comic used to refer to Craig from Bros as Ken

I refer to people in this manner when I'm off to see them in concert like "yes I'm off to see Lord Devin of Townsend this evening" or "sir Robert of Zombie was brilliant last night". Now I know why, it's a bloody throwback to my smash hits reading days damn it must have influenced me more than I care to think!