You all forget that Philth has the Mighty Shirlinator in his corner.

I have voted for Philth armed with a big piece of wood.

Voted for the deeply sexual Phelan..the pheromones he emits would allow a swarm of crazed lustful women and men pursue him and trample philth with his wood before he makes contact with the Phelan. A la Lynx ad but more dramatic..