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CS - In Anticipation of the Coming Funeral Cliches |
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#1 |
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY now - from Ireland
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CS - In Anticipation of the Coming Funeral Cliches
-- It will be raining.
-- Tracy/Mary/Norris/Beth will say something wildly inappropriate and will be told to "have a bit of respect." -- Drunken Peter will show up. -- Carla will arrive at the packed funeral and silence will fall and all eyes will turn to her. She may or may not make a comment that she knows they're all talking about her, or invite them to "have a good gawp". -- No expense will be spared, though Tina was essentially penniless. Rita's chequebook comes through one last time. -- Rob (as the least appropriate person) will be asked to say a few words. ("Tina died as she lived: gobby"). -- There will be no family presence or anyone close to Tina that would actually be at the funeral outside of the regular cast (Tommy/Graeme/Xin). Thinking of making it a drinking game, but don't want to get too bladdered!
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#2 |
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Quote:
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Thinking of making it a drinking game, but don't want to get too bladdered! ![]() surely Fiz will be at the forefront and do the eulogy?
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#3 |
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Rita will probably sing. Maybe "Don't cry for me Argen...TINA!"
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#4 |
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Location: NY now - from Ireland
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#5 |
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Sausage rolls and ham sandwiches back at The Rovers for the 'do' afterwards.
Tim will show up to the funeral wearing a football shirt or something else totally inappropriate much to Sally's embarrassment
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#6 |
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Lizz will moan about how she were her best barmaid
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#7 |
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Quote:
Sausage rolls and ham sandwiches back at The Rovers for the 'do' afterwards.
Tim will show up to the funeral wearing a football shirt or something else totally inappropriate much to Sally's embarrassment ![]() Love it! Especially the sausage rolls and ham sandwiches!I think all of Boldilocks' predictions will come true, especially "have a bit of respect!" No way does that line get left out! |
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#8 |
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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I'm not a fan of funerals.
I find they always tend to be miserable occasions. I've been to quite a few, none of them have been much of a laugh to be honest. It's even frowned upon if you start cracking a few gags, as I discovered when I got thrown out of my Nan's funeral. |
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#9 |
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Quote:
It's even frowned upon if you start cracking a few gags, as I discovered when I got thrown out of my Nan's funeral.
Gags at your Nan's funeral? Tsk, tsk Uncle Quentin. I hope you did not pull the one where you dress up as your favourite dictator.
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#10 |
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Gags at your Nan's funeral? Tsk, tsk Uncle Quentin. I hope you did not pull the one where you dress up as your favourite dictator.
I went in my Hitler costume. |
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#11 |
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Join Date: Aug 2008
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Rob will deliver the eulogy and use it to drop not so subtle hints that Peter's the killer.
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#12 |
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Rob will help carry the coffin, no doubt.
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#13 |
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Quote:
Good grief no, my old Nan really disliked Pol Pot.
I went in my Hitler costume. |
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#14 |
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Rob will probably be forced to act as pallbearer.
Someone (Rita?) will break down in tears during the eulogy and be unable to finish it. |
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#15 |
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Quote:
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I think all of Boldilocks' predictions will come true, especially "have a bit of respect!" No way does that line get left out! ![]() ......also Tracey will say something inappropriate, in bad taste and very loudly with a smile on her face |
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#16 |
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Quote:
And they threw you out? Some people are so uptight at funerals!
You'd think having a laugh was a crime wouldn't you. My Nan was terrified of Hitler during the war, she spent the next forty years droning on about him, so I thought she'd appreciate the gesture. I was a pall bearer too. |
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#17 |
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Carla will start getting stomach pains and be rushed to hospital...
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#18 |
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Quote:
I know mate.
You'd think having a laugh was a crime wouldn't you. My Nan was terrified of Hitler during the war, she spent the next forty years droning on about him, so I thought she'd appreciate the gesture. I was a pall bearer too. I'm guessing it was the sieg hiel salute as you were carrying the coffin that threw everyone over the edge. |
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#19 |
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Quote:
Awww, it does sound like you were just thinking of your Nan.
I'm guessing it was the sieg hiel salute as you were carrying the coffin that threw everyone over the edge. I thought me being blind drunk, in a Hitler costume at 11am would have added to the occasion, made a day of it like, but no, there was no pleasing some people. Fifty notes I paid hiring that from Freddie Starr as well, money I won't be seeing again. You begin to wonder why you make the effort. Then, when we had to drop her in into the hole, I suggested we put her in upside down, because she spent every night drinking bottles of Barley Wine, so she'd like that - but that was my red card out of there. Honestly mate, you can't do right for doing wrong. |
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#20 |
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Eyes down for the Tina Bingo Drinking Game
Deidre will shout "Tracey" at least twice when her daughter makes some tactless comment. And Deidre will also mention Blanche loving a good funeral. Please please don`t let Johnathan Harvey write the funeral ep. It will be so full of cliches. |
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#21 |
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Quote:
I think all of Boldilocks' predictions will come true, especially "have a bit of respect!" No way does that line get left out! Names of the deceased can be changed as needed for future funerals. |
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#22 |
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Quote:
You're spot on Trev, there was a serious lack of humour at that funeral mate.
I thought me being blind drunk, in a Hitler costume at 11am would have added to the occasion, made a day of it like, but no, there was no pleasing some people. Fifty notes I paid hiring that from Freddie Starr as well, money I won't be seeing again. You begin to wonder why you make the effort. Then, when we had to drop her in into the hole, I suggested we put her in upside down, because she spent every night drinking bottles of Barley Wine, so she'd like that - but that was my red card out of there. Honestly mate, you can't do right for doing wrong. |
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#23 |
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Quote:
Rita will probably sing. Maybe "Don't cry for me Argen...TINA!"
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#24 |
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- Someone reads Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep.
- Michelle is seen folding her arms (mark of respect). - Steve or Dev make a passing comment, portrayed as 'funny', but really isn't. - Whole street is outside, staring at the hearse like they've never seen one. - Roy's Rolls is closed. Factory given day off. - Someone who isn't invited/welcome to the funeral barges in through the doors during service. And makes a scene. Probably Peter. - Curly Simon cries. |
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#25 |
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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There will be a toast and speech at the rovers, like what Stella did over Sunita's death and opening of the rovers.
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surely Fiz will be at the forefront and do the eulogy?

