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Old 16-06-2014, 23:08
Charley Says...
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Dear Des Lennis...

Our brief encounter the other day has left me wondering just how light fingered you really are...

I am a sucker for a good sob story and yours really did tug at my heart strings...

I don't have much for you to burgle but it would be really nice if you could visit me upon your release and smash my back doors in...

Yours Sincerely,

Gail Potter Tilsley Platt McIntyre.
Age: 74 3/4
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Old 17-06-2014, 06:51
mourinhosmissus
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Dear Des Lennis...

Our brief encounter the other day has left me wondering just how light fingered you really are...

I am a sucker for a good sob story and yours really did tug at my heart strings...

I don't have much for you to burgle but it would be really nice if you could visit me upon your release and smash my back doors in...

Yours Sincerely,

Gail Potter Tilsley Platt McIntyre.
Age: 74 3/4

BIB -

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Old 17-06-2014, 06:59
Redhead69
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Lol !
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Old 17-06-2014, 07:41
eveningstar
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Dear Des Lennis,

Forgive me writing yet again, but the restraining order against me doesn't come into effect until nect week.

Since meeting you, I think constantly of your tales of misfortune with tears in my eyes, I am a really good judge of men,, and can tell that you are completely honest and trustworthy.

Life can be cruel and I too have had my share of misfortune, one husband was killed, one killed other people and one killed himself.

Maybe fate has drawn us together, two troubled souls who are meant to find one another? We may face some hard times with my family, they rarely support my choices but I have never let that stop me in the past.

If you think we have made a special connection I promise a future of simpering, eyelash fluttering bliss.

Yours not desperate for a man at all,
Gail Potter Tilsley Platt Hillman McIntyre.
Age: 74 3/4
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Old 17-06-2014, 07:48
Sandra Bee
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Dear Des Lennis,

Forgive me writing yet again, but the restraining order against me doesn't come into effect until nect week.

Since meeting you, I think constantly of your tales of misfortune with tears in my eyes, I am a really good judge of men,, and can tell that you are completely honest and trustworthy.

Life can be cruel and I too have had my share of misfortune, one husband was killed, one killed other people and one killed himself.
Maybe fate has drawn us together, two troubled souls who are meant to find one another? We may face some hard times with my family, they rarely support my choices but I have never let that stop me in the past.

If you think we have made a special connection I promise a future of simpering, eyelash fluttering bliss.

Yours not desperate for a man at all,
Gail Potter Tilsley Platt McIntyre.
Age: 74 3/4




Ha ha
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Old 17-06-2014, 08:45
Sandra Bee
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I do think this storyline is a laborious way of introducing a new character. Why?


Couldn't he have been a delivery driver at the Bistro or something simple FGS, instead of all this silly burglar/prison twaddle.
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Old 17-06-2014, 09:14
k9fan
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I do think this storyline is a laborious way of introducing a new character. Why?


Couldn't he have been a delivery driver at the Bistro or something simple FGS, instead of all this silly burglar/prison twaddle.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/soaps/s3...oHqRUdAiMcm85P
Michael will then turn up again in the summer to try and make amends with Gail (Helen Worth) as part of a restorative justice storyline.

The restorative justice scheme involves people who have admitted crimes meeting their victims or making amends by doing some sort of remedial work.
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Old 17-06-2014, 09:21
Lucy Lou
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I didn't think about my family, I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my odd family had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote you a letter , even though you’re a bit of a cad
And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half bad

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into murder, I can be a bit of a pain
If you like making love at midnight on a cold Red Rec
Then I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me what the heck

So I waited with high hopes and he broke into into my place
I liked his smile in an instant, I thought he was quite ace
It was my own lovely villain and he said, "make us a brew"
Then we laughed for a moment and I said, “yes you’ll do”

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into murder ……….
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Old 17-06-2014, 10:52
Oldnjaded
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Lol, some great letters here, and I adore the Pina Colada Song Lucy, and will be singing it all day now.
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Old 17-06-2014, 11:07
Hoffmister
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Kylie stole and sold steves motor bike, stole Marys camper van then tried to sell her kid...yet she takes the high moral ground against a burglar.

Dear mr burglar please off my rubish lodgers.....
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Old 17-06-2014, 11:58
AndreaMC
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His name was Michael, the reluctant burglar,
He had short and sandy hair and a face all lined with care,
He would break through doors and do the polka,
He tired so hard to be a thief
But Gail would only give him grief,
Across the ironing board, beside Gail's olive store
They were older and had their problems
Who could ask for more?

At the copa, copacaPlatta,
The hottest joint north of the rovers,
At the copa, copacaPlatta,
Music, not fashion was always the fashion,
at the copa, they fell in love,,,,,
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Old 17-06-2014, 12:13
jsmith99
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When you come out
Give me a shout
I'm sure what we might have will last
Cos I've done a lot with criminals in the past.

We can snuggle down on the settee
And watch recordings of my favourite TV:
Big Top, Men Behaving Badly and BGT.
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Old 17-06-2014, 19:28
Janet Plank
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Some brilliant letters, please keep them coming. Will we get to see Gail's actual letter? It couldn't be as good as those on this thread.
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Old 17-06-2014, 20:10
China Girl
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LOL at this thread!!

Andrea and Lucy.....brilliant
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Old 17-06-2014, 20:10
FM Lover
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Dear Les,

After seeing you the other day I've not been able to get the thought of you and I together.

I know this may come as a shock by I'd really like you to move into this Madhouse I share with David and Kylie and the kids. We really need our Family Fortunes turned around, it's been a hell of a year what with the news of Kylie's one night stead with Nick, David's sick revenge and then Nick's rehabilitation after his accident.

You wouldn't just be one of the Extras, we'd make sure you were part of the family. I know it's forward of me to ask like this out of the blue but I always think Life's Too Short to pussy foot around these matters.

If you are thinking 'Gail, just Holden a minute' then, no is my answer I really want to make this work between you and I. As I say, I can't get you out of my head, I had a chat with my neighbours in the Rovers and Our Survey Said..........go for it. Nothing would make me prouder than to walk into the Rovers with you one my arm and I know as one of the New Faces you'd settle in well in Weatherfield.

Now I know you may have heard a lot about my history and I really don't want you to become another Casualty of my turbulent relationships. I know you've had money worries but when we go to the Bistro you don't need to worry about The Bill as my son is the owner.

I always try to keep a tidy house, I keep it very clean and always do the Dustin, Gee I just love housework. And as for the family, well both David and Nick don't need so much of a father figure, I'd like to think you'd be more like their Celebrity Big Brother.

I know you like cooking, you told me you were great in the kitchen, a real Celebrity Masterchef and as we eat Spamalot you would be a very welcome addition to our family unit, I just hope you've got plenty of olive recipes.

So come on Les, let's make this a real Family Affair, as soon as you get out we'll meet in the park, down near the water, you know at the Brookside and we can start our new life together.

All my love
Gail
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Old 17-06-2014, 20:14
Hound of Love
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At this thread!

Dear Les

I have enclosed a picture of me wearing just a pair of flight socks, whilst sucking on an olive.

Enjoy!

Love
Gail Potter Tilsley Platt Hillman McIntyre
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Old 17-06-2014, 20:16
k9fan
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Kylie stole and sold steves motor bike, stole Marys camper van then tried to sell her kid...yet she takes the high moral ground against a burglar.

Dear mr burglar please off my rubish lodgers.....
His name was Michael, the reluctant burglar,
He had short and sandy hair and a face all lined with care,
He would break through doors and do the polka,
He tired so hard to be a thief
But Gail would only give him grief,
Across the ironing board, beside Gail's olive store
They were older and had their problems
Who could ask for more?

At the copa, copacaPlatta,
The hottest joint north of the rovers,
At the copa, copacaPlatta,
Music, not fashion was always the fashion,
at the copa, they fell in love,,,,,
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Old 17-06-2014, 20:17
Oldnjaded
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Lol, brilliant one FM Lover!
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Old 17-06-2014, 21:16
Uncle Quentin
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Dear Des.

It is I, the Gail here (that cute piece of fluff who came to see you).
How are you?
Since we met the other day, R David’s been showing me his DVD of you and that time you flossed your arse with a wet towel in Extras.
I liked that and I think I’ve forgiven you now.

I said to R Kylie and R Max at the time, anybody with a set of Ox-bollocks like that couldn’t be all bad.

Here’s a bit about me - I have been widowed three times, divorced twice, and driven into the canal once.
I think I’ve only ever truly loved two men though, that’s R Brian and R Nick.
I thought I loved Lewis, but he tricked me over some flight socks and ended up owning my house.

I’ve enclosed a photo of me in one of my blazers.
Hope you like it?

(Don’t be alarmed by the skeleton stood next to me, that’s me mam)

Love Gail x
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Old 17-06-2014, 22:50
J-B
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Dear Des Lennis,

How about I be your Amanda Holden tonight? I can do my hair all pretty and put on a proper decent blazer and you can press my buzzer all night long. Then perhaps that dashing Nick bloke could be my Neil Morrissey

All the best,
G (string )
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Old 17-06-2014, 23:01
wavlovr
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Dear Des Penis. Oh I`m sorry I don`t know where my mind is. I of course mean Lennis *eye flutter flutter*

Thank you for your nice letter Michael *flutter* It was so nice to think of me *giggle* *simper* *flutter*
Would you like to come to dinner when you get out? i`m doing shepherds pie with olives and if you`re lucky I might make some sticky toffee pudding *simper* *flutter*
Gail
PS Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Mavis Wilton who used to work at the Kabin? *giggle* *flutter*
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Old 18-06-2014, 08:32
eveningstar
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Dear Gail Potter Tilsley Platt Hillman McIntyre.

Thank you for your many letters and interesting offers, I have been quite overwhelmed with emotions of many kinds.

I have to tell you that following your visit, one of your neighbours also called in, a charming lady by the name of Eileen. She, like you, is a friendly blonde lady with an unusual family and a penchant for meeting new gentleman friends.

She tells me her house is like a tardis, able to accommodate many more people than appearances would suggest (I think it was the house she referred to and not herself) and has offered to take me in.

I am in such a quandry dear lady, what shall I do? Maybe I should just auction myself to the highest bidder. Haha, only a joke of course, but just for fun I include my bank details below.

Yours affectionately,
Des Lennis, cell block H
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Old 18-06-2014, 08:40
Maria_Robinson
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Dear Des Lennis

Sorry work has been a bit thin on the ground lately since you were fired from Family Fortunes and you were exposed as a loony on CBB.

However Mr Blackburn has invited you to join the cast of Britain's favourite soap on the ridiculous pretext that you burgled and terrified a 63 year old grandmother whilst her grandchild was in the house. Then her daughter in law which is normally pretty street wise and smart writes you a letter saying "gail loves you" like she is a 7 year old in the playground and you turn up on the Cobbles with your whole family to add to the already burgeoning cast half of which should have been written out years ago.

Yours truly
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Old 18-06-2014, 10:32
mourinhosmissus
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Dear Des.

It is I, the Gail here (that cute piece of fluff who came to see you).
How are you?
Since we met the other day, R David’s been showing me his DVD of you and that time you flossed your arse with a wet towel in Extras.
I liked that and I think I’ve forgiven you now.

I said to R Kylie and R Max at the time, anybody with a set of Ox-bollocks like that couldn’t be all bad.

Here’s a bit about me - I have been widowed three times, divorced twice, and driven into the canal once.I think I’ve only ever truly loved two men though, that’s R Brian and R Nick.
I thought I loved Lewis, but he tricked me over some flight socks and ended up owning my house.

I’ve enclosed a photo of me in one of my blazers.
Hope you like it?

(Don’t be alarmed by the skeleton stood next to me, that’s me mam)

Love Gail x
Oh Uncle Q, I do love you! This post is one of the funniest posts I've ever read on DS, the bits in bold in particular.

Please keep them coming.
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Old 18-06-2014, 10:40
alienpanda
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His face reminds me of rice pudding, once you have stirred jam into it.....
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