His statement to FIFA also makes he one of the finest comedians in football!

It looks like Count Suarez has a career in comedy to fall back on when his body gives up the ghost & he can't quite kick a football so well anymore.

John Bishop better watch his back; literally in the case of Count Suarez!

He's hilarious. He still doesn't actually admit it was on purpose, you'll note. Just that he's very sorry about it. Of course, this wouldn't be any kind of attempt to get his ban lessened, no way.

Doesn't matter what he says really does it? People won't believe it either way. Funny how sorry isn't good enough for people these days, the won't be happy until someone's in the gutter.

Well, that proves that the defence he and the Uruguay team made to the FA was a complete and total pack of lies.

Notice the wording though; he says "Cheillini suffered the physical result of a bit in the collision he suffered with me", so he still can't bring himself to say "I bit him".

This statement smacks of a man whose regret is more that he was caught and seen through than committing a disgraceful act on the field - for all we know it could have been written by his publicist.

Also, it's all well and good for him to vow that he'll never bite a player again but who knows whether that'll be uppermost in his mind when he's getting riled on the pitch.

It's not like the previous two sanctions stopped him in any way, is it?

It does matter what he says. But what he said, and what he says now, are two very different things. The whole world knows it was on purpose, and I for one would have had a LOT more respect for him if he'd come clean there and then.

As for being in the gutter, please. The man has made millions, there is no way he's ever going to find himself there. And if he ever does, it'll be his own fault. He has such a mighty talent, yet he cheats and lies and bites people. Oh, and has been found guilty of racism, too. So you'll forgive me for not wasting any sympathy on him for this self inflicted problem he's currently having.

Saying sorry means admitting your mistake and apologising for it. He does not admit he bit another player. The statement is very cleverly worded by a legal team/ his club in an attempt to mitigate damage

I'm not saying he will end up in the gutter. I'm saying people won't be happy until he's in the gutter. Two different things.

2014 where sorry means bugger all anymore.

He just has to be related to this guy.... just listen to Comical Ali - it sounds like he's describing Suarez's "unfortunate incident".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfAeMtcURg0

Because he's not sorry He hasn't even admitted that he did it on purpose!! All he wants is to get his ban reduced, nothing more.

Well it doesn't matter anymore over here does it? He will be playing in Spain next season and many people will be happy Liverpool will have sold their talisman. Delighted in fact.

Somebody's been working on the PR...

Will Uruguay still appeal after this? Maybe they advised him to admit his guilt in the hope of getting his ban reduced.

Like I said he will be in Spain next year and we will probably never hear of him again.

Do you think any player releases their own statements?
It'll be passed back and forth between agents, PR and lawyers to make sure it says what they want it to say.

PMSL!!!

That's quality.

I think the first half of that could be right.... the second bit GNAWWHH.

Far too late was the cry, it means nothing.

I wouldn't be so sure.

We all know he loves a long Summer break, so, no doubt, he'll probably bite someone else towards the end of next season to ensure that he misses the start of the subsequent season & that will be the biggest news in football since his last misdemeanour.

Of course, but if a player is making a statement on such a dreadful misdemeanour they have committed, you would hope that it would be based far more on their actual thoughts and feelings (of hopefully contrition) than, say, the blandishments you get when players join new clubs.

Even though he was in a no-win situation I still think it would have been slightly better for him to have said nothing.

PR man convinces Suarez that his best and only possibility of joining Barcelona (etc) is to admit guilt and show remorse.

If they have, then they need to go back and work on it some more, as that is yet again, an atrocious statement, with no admittance of guilt whatsoever!

Well, he still hasn't admitted it, in that statement!

The one Lineker just read out admits the bite and apologises to Chiellini and the whole football world etc.

He's only made one statement and it's very carefully worded. It does not admit the bite was deliberate, just that he's sorry.