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D'Limericks thread |
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#26 |
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 10,820
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Our BB expert extraordinaire
Seems mainly concerned with his hair But his major study Was of Belo and Goody The others – they haven't a prayer. |
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#27 |
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 260
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There was a foul Trollop called Helen
Whose over used fadge did start smellin Ash said I'm not fussed I quite like a crust Attempted to mount and just fell in |
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#28 |
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: East London
Posts: 25,846
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So Steven wants to move in with Kim
And thinks she'd spend time with him More likely she'll scarper She's many times sharper And like us, knows he's incredibly dim |
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#29 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 260
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A fame hungry whore called Mark
With the vicious intent of a shark Set out for the win But we're not that dim Your play acting just gives us the nark |
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#30 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Die, Neo-Righteous pig!
Posts: 1,830
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Oh my god, those last 4 or so were brilliant.
Danielle found an abandoned car and yanked on the gearstick real hard She faked lots of scorn when it tooted the horn and blew off her knickers and bra |
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#31 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 871
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There once was a Wood up in Boreham
That was lacking in class and decorum When it went off to 5 it just took a nose-dive and the reasons are here on this forum |
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#32 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 9,918
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Helen thought it was all so unfair
When she'd butchered poor Christopher's hair She wasn't invited She wasn't delighted (Ooh look - Marlon just humped a chair) |
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#33 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 9,918
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Every day Helen winges and rants
Steven's thoughts turn to love and romance While he swears he is true Ashleigh's planning her coup (Marlon's keeping his hand in his pants) |
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#34 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 260
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Deluded and boring and thick
His showmance is making us sick Night after night it's a terrible sight I blame casting for this pompous prick Who am I? |
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#35 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: East London
Posts: 25,846
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That Helen can be quite vicious
And for fame she's ambitious She slept with Rooney Now she's a loony But she's certainly not malicious |
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#36 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fakenham. (A pun.)
Posts: 3,660
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Quote:
There was a young 'lady' called Helen,
Had the cut of the jib of a felon, When Matthew, he fought back By insulting her rack, She did strangle him dead with her melons. There was a young hobbo called Ash, Who was smitten with her who takes cash, He's as dull as a turd, And quite dirty, I've heard, There's a coupling would lead to a rash. You never let us down, Patsy! lol |
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#37 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fakenham. (A pun.)
Posts: 3,660
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Quote:
A Scottish miss, name of Danielle,
Is a Catholic glamour modelle She may have her mockers For flashing her knockers While saying bad girls go to hell |
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#38 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fakenham. (A pun.)
Posts: 3,660
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Quote:
There was a Scots lass called Danielle
With tats like a Border spaniel She was very pure and about smut did whine Except when she purred on her sexy chatline. There was an irish lass called Ashleigh Who often spoke very rashly. She has a facial expression akin to a slapped arse But is sharp enough to see the truth from the farce. There was a comical scouser called mark Quiffed and a bit of a bright spark. He minces around with his arse in the air. His only worry, his ridiculous hair |
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#39 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fakenham. (A pun.)
Posts: 3,660
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Quote:
Not a limerick, but...
The 'face that launched a thousand ships' by name Fair Helen from the streets of Bolton came She found her fame through red-top kiss and tell And now in Borehamwood she raises hell With cohorts three she sits in majesty While others from her presence tend to flee In efforts to avoid the foul abuse That freely flows when she is on the juice With free pass in her hand she saunters on Though kinder souls so dearly want her gone Perhaps tonight some changes may occur For there may be a grand surprise for her Yes, what I think that most would like to see Is the loss of that same pass she got for free One final loss of temper, one last fight Could, better still, see her removed tonight Love the wit AND the sentiment!
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#40 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fakenham. (A pun.)
Posts: 3,660
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Quote:
There once was an unlikely fox
Whose faith seemed ...out of the box: ![]() Takes the Lord's name in vain, And from clothes she'll abstain, Now she's coveting her neighbour's ox ![]() |
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#41 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fakenham. (A pun.)
Posts: 3,660
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Quote:
Deluded and boring and thick
His showmance is making us sick Night after night it's a terrible sight I blame casting for this pompous prick Who am I? |
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#42 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Fakenham. (A pun.)
Posts: 3,660
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Quote:
That Helen can be quite vicious
And for fame she's ambitious She slept with Rooney Now she's a loony But she's certainly not malicious |
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#43 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 260
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Quote:
You are Steven and I claim my £5!
![]() Fiver has been deposited in the 'bank of Marlons pants' collect it when your ready ![]()
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#44 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: East London
Posts: 25,846
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There once was a nun called Danielle
Who determined to keep out of Hell But she posed for the mags Which excited the lads Now her fate isn't looking so well |
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#45 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,409
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oops doubler
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#46 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,409
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Who thinks that a cyborg called Kim
Might marry this Tim Nice But Dim When they are both phony His millions baloney And everyone's seen up her quim |
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#47 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ☺ Essex ☺
Posts: 10,920
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There once was a housemate called Winston,
Who seemed to have an affliction, He liked to screw, Bit tended to spew, This negated the effects of friction. |
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#48 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,409
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A young praying mantis from Derry
Is not all that far from her cherry Her shorts are so short I'm like Rolfy in court But other than that: Ordinary |
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#49 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,409
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If you need to relax of an eve
Get a fine friggy finger from Steve If it's not too obscene Letting Steve flick your bean Maybe next time it's him you'll relieve |
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#50 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,537
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Forgive me for not posting a limerick.
Just like to say I found this thread gave me more entertainment than BB. Great work guys,thanks for the fun. second post i have made on a thread this series. |
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