D'Limericks thread - Page 2 - Digital Spy Forums

D'Limericks thread

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Menk

07-07-2014

Our BB expert extraordinaire
Seems mainly concerned with his hair
But his major study
Was of Belo and Goody
The others – they haven't a prayer.

Sticky Bun

07-07-2014

There was a foul Trollop called Helen
Whose over used fadge did start smellin
Ash said I'm not fussed
I quite like a crust
Attempted to mount and just fell in

Fizzbin

07-07-2014

So Steven wants to move in with Kim
And thinks she'd spend time with him
More likely she'll scarper
She's many times sharper
And like us, knows he's incredibly dim

Sticky Bun

07-07-2014

A fame hungry whore called Mark
With the vicious intent of a shark
Set out for the win
But we're not that dim
Your play acting just gives us the nark

Wicked Father

07-07-2014

Oh my god, those last 4 or so were brilliant.

Danielle found an abandoned car
and yanked on the gearstick real hard
She faked lots of scorn
when it tooted the horn
and blew off her knickers and bra

HonestLee

07-07-2014

There once was a Wood up in Boreham
That was lacking in class and decorum
When it went off to 5 it just took a nose-dive
and the reasons are here on this forum

Conehead

07-07-2014

Helen thought it was all so unfair
When she'd butchered poor Christopher's hair
She wasn't invited
She wasn't delighted
(Ooh look - Marlon just humped a chair)

Conehead

07-07-2014

Every day Helen winges and rants
Steven's thoughts turn to love and romance
While he swears he is true
Ashleigh's planning her coup
(Marlon's keeping his hand in his pants)

Sticky Bun

07-07-2014

Deluded and boring and thick
His showmance is making us sick
Night after night it's a terrible sight
I blame casting for this pompous prick

Who am I?

Fizzbin

07-07-2014

That Helen can be quite vicious
And for fame she's ambitious
She slept with Rooney
Now she's a loony
But she's certainly not malicious

I-don't-fake-em

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by patsylimerick:
“There was a young 'lady' called Helen,
Had the cut of the jib of a felon,
When Matthew, he fought back
By insulting her rack,
She did strangle him dead with her melons.

There was a young hobbo called Ash,
Who was smitten with her who takes cash,
He's as dull as a turd,
And quite dirty, I've heard,
There's a coupling would lead to a rash.”

You never let us down, Patsy! lol

I-don't-fake-em

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by OldEnough:
“A Scottish miss, name of Danielle,
Is a Catholic glamour modelle
She may have her mockers
For flashing her knockers
While saying bad girls go to hell”

LOL *round of applause*

I-don't-fake-em

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by quasimoron:
“There was a Scots lass called Danielle
With tats like a Border spaniel
She was very pure and about smut did whine
Except when she purred on her sexy chatline.

There was an irish lass called Ashleigh
Who often spoke very rashly.
She has a facial expression akin to a slapped arse
But is sharp enough to see the truth from the farce.

There was a comical scouser called mark
Quiffed and a bit of a bright spark.
He minces around with his arse in the air.
His only worry, his ridiculous hair”

I love the 'Ashleigh/spoke rashly' rhyming couplet. lol

I-don't-fake-em

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by MsBehaviour:
“Not a limerick, but...

The 'face that launched a thousand ships' by name
Fair Helen from the streets of Bolton came
She found her fame through red-top kiss and tell
And now in Borehamwood she raises hell

With cohorts three she sits in majesty
While others from her presence tend to flee
In efforts to avoid the foul abuse
That freely flows when she is on the juice

With free pass in her hand she saunters on
Though kinder souls so dearly want her gone
Perhaps tonight some changes may occur
For there may be a grand surprise for her

Yes, what I think that most would like to see
Is the loss of that same pass she got for free
One final loss of temper, one last fight
Could, better still, see her removed tonight”

Love the wit AND the sentiment!

I-don't-fake-em

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by Trumbles:
“There once was an unlikely fox
Whose faith seemed ...out of the box:
Takes the Lord's name in vain,
And from clothes she'll abstain,
Now she's coveting her neighbour's ox ”

LMAO! Well done!

I-don't-fake-em

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by Sticky Bun:
“Deluded and boring and thick
His showmance is making us sick
Night after night it's a terrible sight
I blame casting for this pompous prick

Who am I?”

You are Steven and I claim my £5!

I-don't-fake-em

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by Fizzbin:
“That Helen can be quite vicious
And for fame she's ambitious
She slept with Rooney
Now she's a loony
But she's certainly not malicious”

The best so far! LMFAO!

Sticky Bun

07-07-2014

Originally Posted by I-don't-fake-em:
“You are Steven and I claim my £5!”

Keep this up and you'll have to move over to the mastermind forum

Fiver has been deposited in the 'bank of Marlons pants' collect it when your ready

Fizzbin

07-07-2014

There once was a nun called Danielle
Who determined to keep out of Hell
But she posed for the mags
Which excited the lads
Now her fate isn't looking so well

YesNoMan

07-07-2014

oops doubler

YesNoMan

07-07-2014

Who thinks that a cyborg called Kim
Might marry this Tim Nice But Dim
When they are both phony
His millions baloney
And everyone's seen up her quim

Andy_G

07-07-2014

There once was a housemate called Winston,
Who seemed to have an affliction,
He liked to screw,
Bit tended to spew,
This negated the effects of friction.

YesNoMan

07-07-2014

A young praying mantis from Derry
Is not all that far from her cherry
Her shorts are so short
I'm like Rolfy in court
But other than that: Ordinary

YesNoMan

08-07-2014

If you need to relax of an eve
Get a fine friggy finger from Steve
If it's not too obscene
Letting Steve flick your bean
Maybe next time it's him you'll relieve

neversaydie

08-07-2014

Forgive me for not posting a limerick.
Just like to say I found this thread gave me more entertainment than BB.

Great work guys,thanks for the fun.

second post i have made on a thread this series.

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