DS Forums

 
 

D'Limericks thread


Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-07-2014, 03:02
tabithakitten
Forum Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,240
Oh Big Brother give up for f***s sake
I don't know how much more I can take
Of these wusses and bores,
Harpies and fame whores
Even though I know most of it's fake.

You're insistent on twist after twist
We don't want them but you can't resist
So you poke them and prod them
Until we think s*d them
And all bugger off to get p*ssed.
tabithakitten is offline   Reply With Quote
Please sign in or register to remove this advertisement.
Old 08-07-2014, 03:08
Fizzbin
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: East London
Posts: 25,847
I can't stand the secrets and lies
Despite what his Mum doth advise
Saw those love birds elite
Fumbling under the sheet
Oh my eyes, oh my eyes. Oh my eyes
Fizzbin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2014, 03:11
YesNoMan
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,409
Excellent work you two. By contrast my verse / limps from bad to worse.



In the story nine teen eighty four
Was a hero called Winston I'm sure
But he wasn't the winner
His face was rats' dinner
Then he sucked BB's c*ck all the more


For the chair of a meeting or parley
You'd do worse than electing old Jale
She can pull out the rugs
From the maggots and slugs
And bring you one love like Bob Marley (that's so shit, wish I'd stuck with gnarly)


A tedious droner called Ash
Can just bloody stand there for cash
For the pretty, you'll find
Don't develop a mind
So their character turns out all gash


There once was a hooker called Helen
Who hated herself so very, very much
And had such ugly issues
That it doesn't bear rhyme
She's just a c*nt who's f*cked the series up
YesNoMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2014, 03:14
Fizzbin
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: East London
Posts: 25,847
There once was a Lancashire lass
Who sold herself, mainly for cash
She argued all day
Wish she'd go away
With the rest of the unwanted trash
Fizzbin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2014, 03:22
Fizzbin
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: East London
Posts: 25,847
There was a misogynist called Marlon
Who acted like a rude-boy from Harlem
'Round the house he would strut
Speaking nothing but smut
But he was just a big waste of carbon
Fizzbin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2014, 03:23
Wicked Father
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Die, Neo-Righteous pig!
Posts: 1,830
Goode fingerrrrrrr
He's the man,
the man with the midas touch...
in Kimbot's crutch... duhh nahhh nuhhh... nihhh nahhhhhh

Oh wait.
Wicked Father is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2014, 19:49
YesNoMan
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 9,409
Thank the Lord for the footy tonight
As Big Brother drowns in its own shite
Extra time is a blessing
I'm not even messing
And the same for tomorrow, alright?
YesNoMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2014, 20:00
patsylimerick
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 18,703
There once was an unlikely fox
Whose faith seemed ...out of the box:
Takes the Lord's name in vain,
And from clothes she'll abstain,
Now she's coveting her neighbour's ox
These are ace.

Some HMs were sat on the grass
Talking about Helen's free pass
They were feeling quite mellow
'Til she started to bellow
And the others shot out of her ass
Excellent both
patsylimerick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 21:37
Wicked Father
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Die, Neo-Righteous pig!
Posts: 1,830
Hey Kimbot, let's get a house
so I can openly take of your blouse
that's not gonna happen
but I'll give you a fappin
If you tickle my silky wee mouse

Hey Kimbot, let's find a place
so I can constantly suck on your face
Ash and Helen can watch
As I finger your crotch
As you look distantly off into space.

Hey Kimbot, let's get a bungalow
Open up and I'll use my big tongue below
My lingual dexterity is better than therapy
It don't matter that I'm not well hung below

And so on - Order now and you'll also receive:
Hey Kimbot, let's get a flat
So I can have a good look at your...

Hey Kimbot, let's get a yacht
You can watch me eating my snot...
Wicked Father is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2014, 22:22
WhatJoeThinks
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 10,236
Lol!
WhatJoeThinks is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Reply




 
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:34.