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Steven's multi million pound company website written by a 5 year old


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Old 18-07-2014, 10:33
Pitman
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I'd have loved to see him in the semi-final, when Sugar's assistants look into the candidates' back-stories and rip them to shreds.
it would have been "to be frank Mr Goode, your whole career is a pile of bullshit isn't it?"
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Old 18-07-2014, 10:42
Old Endeavour
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At the end of the day if this doesn't teach everyone a valuable lesson then nothing will. It just shows the mentality of the instant everything that the current younger generation live by. Don't want to work? Then claim you are a model or an actor. These don't need qualifications and anyone can say they are these even if they have never done any acting or modelling. Found some modelling/acting work but the director wants you to get your kit off? Then what used to be called porn and was a very nasty seedy thing is now called Glamour Modelling to make it seem to be something it's not.

Same with business: You don't actually need anything. Just make it all up! Don't work hard for many years to built up a quality company with years of experience and valued happy customers, just tell everyone how wonderful you think you are and how they are wrong and silly not to go along with your delusion.

I know all of this as I'm an International sex-god and head of a billion dollar* company.

*dollars sound way more sexy than pound in a BS statement.
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Old 18-07-2014, 10:49
YesNoMan
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc

It's a Goode time....
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Old 18-07-2014, 10:54
Wildrover06
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Old 18-07-2014, 10:57
loddellbosh
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And if you are a female buyer, no doubt you'd have to deal with his declaration of undying love before the pudding arrived.

Edit: Just chocked on my cup of tea reading the home page:
"Shading Specialists offer Project Management services taking the pressure of your shoulders whether we are supply all or part of the requirement. We will be there to make sure that everything runs smoothing and that everything is integrated as your have requested. "

Brilliant. He is the real Slim Shading!

I've just used the "Blind Enquriy" form to send him a message from Stevie Wonder. I'm feeling utterly infantile today.
BIB
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Old 18-07-2014, 11:01
BlackberryGirl
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'to integrate your blinds into'?
'Commerical'?
'everything runs smoothing and that everything is integrated as your have requested'?

My son's Y6 school project on websites was better than this. For a genuine website for a genuine company, this is absolutely appalling.
I know, it reads like a scam email from somewhere in the third-world.

I reckon it must have been dictated into some shitty software, and never checked.
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Old 18-07-2014, 11:03
Annsyre
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At the end of the day if this doesn't teach everyone a valuable lesson then nothing will. It just shows the mentality of the instant everything that the current younger generation live by. Don't want to work? Then claim you are a model or an actor. These don't need qualifications and anyone can say they are these even if they have never done any acting or modelling. Found some modelling/acting work but the director wants you to get your kit off? Then what used to be called porn and was a very nasty seedy thing is now called Glamour Modelling to make it seem to be something it's not.

Same with business: You don't actually need anything. Just make it all up! Don't work hard for many years to built up a quality company with years of experience and valued happy customers, just tell everyone how wonderful you think you are and how they are wrong and silly not to go along with your delusion.

I know all of this as I'm an International sex-god and head of a billion dollar* company.

*dollars sound way more sexy than pound in a BS statement.

A sad but true reflection on some of the younger generation.

You couldn't lend me a few quid could you?
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:07
kezabella
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comforting to know he wants everything to run "smoothing" Idiot.
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:20
JustTam
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The sad thing is, his parents are responsible for a lot of the reasons he's the way he is. And does anyone buy the thing his mother said about the reason he lives at home is because he rents his properties out?

Growing up I use to think my parents were overly strict, now I am grateful they were.
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:23
jimjohnson
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What a mess.
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:30
Blondie X
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I've just used the "Blind Enquriy" form to send him a message from Stevie Wonder. I'm feeling utterly infantile today.
Ray Charles, or someone using his name may have just made a blind enquiry just now
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:31
Sunnydays
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it does sound amazing though, who'd have thought you could switch on your telly and operate your blinds with a single remote, what will they think of next?


Yes, but what about the aftersales service.........what if your telly goes on and off in conjunction with your 'high-end' type blinds popping up and down.......
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:36
Sunnydays
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And if you are a female buyer, no doubt you'd have to deal with his declaration of undying love before the pudding arrived.

Edit: Just chocked on my cup of tea reading the home page:
"Shading Specialists offer Project Management services taking the pressure of your shoulders whether we are supply all or part of the requirement. We will be there to make sure that everything runs smoothing and that everything is integrated as your have requested. "

Brilliant. He is the real Slim Shading!

I've just used the "Blind Enquriy" form to send him a message from Stevie Wonder. I'm feeling utterly infantile today.

Love your post...... and have to say I had a scam email once from Nigeria, offering to give me loadsa money to use my bank details.........and that was worded, and had better spelling than Steven's blurb.......
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:41
dialectic
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He must have applied for The Apprentice, they sussed he wasn't credible and BB poached him for their show.
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:43
Blondie X
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I know, it reads like a scam email from somewhere in the third-world.

I reckon it must have been dictated into some shitty software, and never checked.
So his multi million pound interior design business might just be a bloke in an internet cafe in Lagos?
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:45
BlackberryGirl
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So his multi million pound interior design business might just be a bloke in an internet cafe in Lagos?
Hmmm... I could believe that!
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:51
zazaya
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One look at that template and I wouldn't even bother to browse any further. Doesn't exactly inspire confidence, does it. Would you buy anything from this man?
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Old 18-07-2014, 12:55
fizzycat
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I think you're all being very mean to out proud nation's most successful business man. When he says 'high end' he's right. His company fit their blinds and curtains to the top of the window, which is the high end.
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Old 18-07-2014, 13:01
artstu
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Surely a multi-million pound enterprise could stretch to a decent web designer!
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Old 18-07-2014, 13:04
gilliedew
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Wouldn't it be good if he was evicted and they had Nick or Margaret on the BOTS panel.
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Old 18-07-2014, 13:06
Wildrover06
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Wouldn't it be good if he was evicted and they had Nick or Margaret on the BOTS panel.
YES YES YES, or Claude Littner

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j1...icture71-9.jpg
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Old 18-07-2014, 13:06
BlackberryGirl
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I think you're all being very mean to out proud nation's most successful business man. When he says 'high end' he's right. His company fit their blinds and curtains to the top of the window, which is the high end.
Mwahaha!
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Old 18-07-2014, 13:07
BlackberryGirl
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YES YES YES, or Claude Littner
Oh crap, imagine Steven under the steely-eyed gaze of Claude; I swear he'd melt into a pool of liquid lard. And then afterwards blaming Kimberley for making him look like a total tw*t by crying on Big Brother, the cow!
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Old 18-07-2014, 13:09
rolergirl
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"Shading Specialists offer Project Management services taking the pressure of your shoulders whether we are supply all or part of the requirement. We will be there to make sure that everything runs smoothing and that everything is integrated as your have requested."
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Old 18-07-2014, 13:11
Wildrover06
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Oh crap, imagine Steven under the steely-eyed gaze of Claude; I swear he'd melt into a pool of liquid lard. And then afterwards blaming Kimberley for making him look like a total tw*t by crying on Big Brother, the cow!
I'd pay to see it
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