I'm so ready to believe that, but I'm terrified of going further north than Hampstead to find out the truth.

When you spend ages filling in an online query form and then it says "Please login/register to view your results"

People who are dramatic for no good reason.
For e.g. recieved a text from a mate with a big waffley message about how they value our friendship etc and have been thinking about us, I thought maybe they were trying to ditch me but it turns out they were saying 'we'll have to move our lunch meetup to next week' (instead of this week).
They could have just said that originally.
I'm a worrier so when people get super dramatic I prepare for bad news. Not good for my nerves :c

The moronic phrase 'breaking the Internet'.

No doubt coined by a regular nobber, of all the ever-changing internet jargon, for some reason, I find this among the most irritating.

Shoppers who queue at the checkouts, then pack their shopping away and then deign to think about having a good old search for their purse - invariably poking about its nether regions for ages before slowly handing over the cash or their bank card as though surprised by the need to actually fund the transaction in some way.

Arrgh.

I hate those almost as much as I hate survey pop-ups that ask me to 'rate my experience visiting this website'. An experience somewhat hampered by an annoying box getting in the way and I can't answer accurately other than saying, No, I didn't find what I wanted because some stupid pop-up, but I have 'only spent a few moments' giving you some random stuff to make the box disappear..

Then there's Forbes. It's not a 'Thought of the day', it's an advert..

What annoys me is that they appear as soon as you arrive at the website. How the hell can you rate the website when you haven't had a chance to see it?

I think this reached peak annoyance when Kim Kardashian's arse allegedly did this.

It'll have broken a fair few toilet seats but not the internet.

Elaborate introductions to drama series outlining what is going to happen (I'm looking at you, Sky Atlantic).

If I've been waiting months for a new season of a series that I love, I can wait another 60 minutes to see what happens. I don't need clues as to what is going to happen. I will see what happens.

Sky Atlantic - I will give you an example of a good introduction.

"Here's Game of Thrones. - Enjoy"

People who just won't keep quiet when you're trying to watch a tv programme.

My parents are the worst for this. They can see you're sitting trying to watch and concentrate on something and they insist on either rabbiting all over it or trying to chat to me about something I really couldn't give two shits about. JUST STFU WILL YOU!!!

It's no bloomin' wonder they never know what the story is about and have to keep asking what's going on because they can't shut their gobs for 5 seconds in order to listen to it. They seriously suffer from a bad case of verbal diarrhoea.

Just generally noisy people annoy me too. Why is it some people have to do everything at 100db. Again my dad and my father in law is the worst for this. He shouts on the phone I sometimes have to hold the phone 6 inches away from my ear and in their house it's non stop chatter at full volume. When he gets up the whole house has to know about it. Firstly it starts in the bathroom with the noises of him gargleing and hacking up crap from his throat and blowing his nose like he's playing a tuba then it's the annoying whistling to everything he does like the guy needs his own soundtrack and whenever he makes tea he can't just stir in the sugar. Oh no, that would be far too normal. He has to rattle the spoon against the side of the cup for about a minute like he's ringing a bell by which time the entire household has been given their compulsory wake up call whether they like it or not. The first thing they do is turn the tv on then walk out of the room then it remains on all day until bedtime whether anyone is watching it or not.

There's no way you could sit and read a book at my parents house cos you can't get 5 minutes peace to concentrate on anything between constant noise of the tv and them talking loudly all over it.

Annoying YouTube videos.

People who introduce a YouTube video by saying "Hey what's up?" It's so irritating I wish people would stop doing it? Nothing is "UP" just shut up and get on with it will you.

People who feel a YouTube video needs an annoying soundtrack even if it's a tutorial video. Why? If you must put music on your videos at least make it something soothing not the usual annoying crap like death metal thrash or trancey shite. Is it really necessary?

People who add elaborate graphics, credits and intros on tutorial videos or product review videos that take ages before it gets to the point or people who just generally waffle on for 5 minutes before getting to the point. Just get on with it and cut the crap will you. If I click on a video to see a review about a mobile phone I don't want to have to sit through 10 minutes of introduction and you jabbering on about the packaging before you've even got the damn thing out of the box.

The car park loiterers, they drive round the busy car park waiting for someone to return to their car and wait, and wait, for you to vacate the space.

Well, no , as it happens, I'm in no hurry to drive off matey-boy, and you can glare at me all you want, I ain't moving just to please you.

Find another space bumface.

People with convertible cars that dont drop the roof when the weather is nice.

Why buy one if you are not going to drop the roof on a balmy day?

........is possible some of them get fed-up with being called pretentious ***** ?

Argh! I totally agree. Whenever I watch something on any channel (catch-up TV) I always fast forward a few minutes so that I don't see the spoilers. It's so frustrating.

There are some programmes that show post-advert spoilers as well! What IS the point?? We may as well just watch the intro, FF to the ads, FF past them, and so on. It doesn't add drama - it spoils the show for me.

Examples of this are Bargain Hunt or Great British Sewing Bee. On Bargain Hunt, they show snippets of what's been bought, and then the reactions at the auction (groans or cheers). I think "Great, they made a profit, I don't need to watch now). On the Sewing Bee, at the start, they show the garments made - the ones you're watching the contestants make and hoping they'll work out okay. But you know either way because you've already seen it.

.... aaannnd breathe.

Postmen who don't even attempt to deliver a parcel and would rather stick a "Sorry we missed you" card through the door instead. Like this morning: I was in when the postie came and I got one of those cards. It now means I have to wait until Monday to get the parcel.

Also, unskippable ads when I'm watching YouTube on my iPhone or the Football League app (these ones randomly appear when using it).

"See you later!" Where they have no intention of doing so!

People who drop the spoon on the bench after stirring their tea!

People who yawn, they let everyone hear and they don't put their hand over their mouth.

Too many other things that I can't remember.

My dad and his hearing aid, he refuses to wear it, it is so bloody annoying it's unreal, having to repeat the same thing 5 or 6 times before he gets it.

My dad's the same. Refuses to wear his hearing aids so he shouts and then asks for stuff to be repeated constantly and every time I ask why he's not wearing them he says it's because they amplifiy too much noise that he doesn't want to hear.

In other words he prefers to have selective hearing and force everyone else to shout and repeat everything all because he's too lazy to wear his hearing aids.

the word and use of 'trending' Is that a real word or has someone just made it up?

Irritated by the fact I get a ridiculous amount of phone calls on my mobile asking me about ppi, life surveys, double glazing other such rubbish that when a random number appears on my phone I'm hesitant to answer it.
Now it turns out I missed the opportunity for a job interview. Too late for it now

People who make plans but then on the day decide not to bother with them. I was supposed to go to the zoo with my friend today but no they wanted to watch the boring Grand national instead so we didn't get to go.
It has not been a fun day, at all.

I know. No one I know has rushed off to Google Kim Kardashian`s massive arse let alone enough people to cause fictional damage to the internet.

The ' hey whatsup' is a yellow card for me. Any vid that begins with irrelevant crap music get the red.

People who feel the need to have the tv on whether there's anything on worth watching or whether anyone is even looking at it.

I know I mentioned this earlier but thought it annoying enough to give it it's own post.

Pubs are the worst for this. Some places you go to have a tv on every wall blasting out utter rubbish and nobody is even watching it. You can't seem to get away from it and it's not just intrusive but a total conversation killer. All you want to do is sit and chat to your friends and this damn idiots lantern is blaring out all over the place. Round my parent's house the first thing they do is switch on the tv and it's on from the minute they get up until bedtime. The problem is you can't ever watch anything because people are always talking over it and you can't really talk and have a comfortable conversation because the tv is blasting out and you can't hear yourself think. It's just this annoying noise constantly in the background.

What is it with some people they can't live without having the tv on constantly? Either be quiet and watch it or turn it off so we can talk. Or better still, learn to do without it for a bit. There's more to life than watching television. I think some people use it like a comfort blanket whereby if it's not constantly on in the house they can't stand the silence.