You just said someone not beefy builder, regardless my father in law is a beefy builder who will not give up work despite having really bad arthritis. He would struggle to hold a basket in a fixed position for any length of time even if it only had a sandwich in it but then I see him lifting large heavy objects out of his truck which he does all day every day.

This doesn't particularly annoy me intensely, but I do wonder why people go into supermarkets and don't bother getting a basket. Instead they totter round the shop trying to carry several items in their arms. I know why - they have only gone in for 1 thing - but everybody knows that you don't go into a supermarket and get only 1 thing - it's against the laws of nature or something. I feel like shouting at them " GET A BASKET YOU IDIOT!"

And that dreaded question - 'When did you last have an eye test Mr J******?'

'Oh, about a year ago I think'

The look at their records, the slow smile and:-

'It's been two and a half years Mr J*******.'

At my age and prostate condition, if I lose my keys the automatic 'go to' place is the downstairs loo. The dash out the car, frantic opening of front door, telling dogs to get out of the way and diving into loo whilst putting keys on top of cistern is a regular occurrence.

If not, my wife's exasperated words of 'have you checked the washing basket?' are second on my list.

I'm always doing this. I do indeed go into the shop thinking I only want a loaf of bread, then think, well, I'll get this and that while I'm here.....and I'm a bit short on that, too, and I'll get this just in case....

Then balance everything precariously in one hand while I find my purse.

However often you might think I'm an idiot, it's not as often as I think it about myself.

Then when you get home you realise you forgot to buy the bread

People only make song requests to get themselves mentioned on the radio.
Thanks to the the internet we can pretty much listen to any song any time we like

When people say "ba ba ba ba ba ba b b b b b" at the end of a phone call rather than just saying "goodbye"

That a 40 year old woman who's a manager to boot can be so unprofessional and juvenile.

Films/ tv shows where everyone is a Mary Sue.

I get this most strongly from shows like How I Met Your Mother, and films like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Twilight etc...

I do that, because if the basket is heavy I don't want to be holding in up the air for longer than necessary.

The ubiquitous and perennial 'hygiene' threads

I always get a basket even if I only need one or two things because I have this awful feeling that if I don't have one the security bloke will think I'm shop lifting. If I saw someone without a basket I would doubt their integrity.

That, despite telling my mum this numerous times, she'll constantly press the "back up" button on the remote control rather than the button marked "Sky" to get off the menu.

There are two things that immediately spring to mind:

1.) When you're in a shop, there's a queue from one end of the shop to the other and there's only like one person on the till, and about six empty tills, and as a consequence, the queue goes about a mile an hour. (My local Poundland is notorious for this.)

2.) When you're in a supermarket and your basket is virtually overflowing, and the dumb checkout person goes 'do you need a bag'? I genuinely have to bite my tongue in order to resist the urge to say 'nope, I'll balance it all on my head'.

people who can't park a car properly, usually taking up two spaces instead of one. Also people who don't park at the supermarket, but park outside the door so their other half can quickly run in for one thing.

Totally with you on the bag front. Of course sales assistants will tell us they ask because we might have a bag-for-life. Well shut up with that excuse kids! If we were the kind of people who actually bother carrying a bag-for-life around with us, we'd have it out and ready, not wait to be asked if we need a bag.
So stop asking if we need a bag, because your winding us all up.

This has happened so many times to me that now, if I acquire 3 items I walk past the tills and pick up a basket there.

She's not related to my managers is she?

I swear, one of these days I am going to do a piece of work that they can not find anything wrong with and they will say "nice work, well done" instead of "a few points to consider" (in a "I am better than you" tone) - and when they do, I will die of shock.

The reports on carers on GMB this morning

****ing makes me feel guilty and a inconvenience fir going dusabled, they shouldn't be alls to guilt trip the disabled

The media is always going on about carers but what about us disabled, where's our support, when do we get a break!

I'll see you that and raise you when you're in a shop, you get a bag out of your pocket and shake it open, often accompanied by the usual noise if it's a bag for life, so it's pretty obvious what you've just done, you put it on the end of the checkout ready to receive your goods and the checkout person says "Do you need a bag?".

OR, and this has happened to me before, i'll do the above and get my bag out and ready and the checkout person will start putting the items in to a store bag only to look surprised when i'm standing there, holding my bag up saying "i've got a bag"

Seeing men sitting in cars in supermarket car parks while their wives do the shopping because they think that to be seen inside is in some way an assault on their masculinity.

I prefer this to the men who 'guard' the trolley while wifey darts here and there. almost always, he's stuck in the way, gazing around and making an art-form of being an obstruction.

Yes, there seem to be loads in my local Sainsbury. Usually in their fifties or sixties and they stand in the middle of the aisle with such a bored and vacant look while wifey runs around with a list as long as your arm. If he deigns to make a suggestion she bites the poor chaps head off!

To quote that nice Mr. J. McEnroe, you CANNOT be serious.
In what possible way is being seen inside a supermarket an assault on a man's masculinity?
I go into Waitrose WITH my wife, I go in WITHOUT my wife, the place is full of men, either shopping alone, or with a female companion.
The only time that I ever feel vaguely uncomfortable, is when my wife wanders into the lingerie department of a department store, naturally expecting me to follow her.
I never know where to look, I fixedly avoid the merchandise, and if I encounter a woman holding up a bra or thong to peruse it, I feel like swerving the escalator, and jumping over the balustrade.
Last edited by Phil_Sheridan : 22-07-2015 at 16:12