Misery Lit was all the rage a few years ago. A lot of it is very inspiring.

But it did all get a bit samey when so many were released

Still you can't dismiss the likes of Frank McCourt and Jung Chang just like that


It's not all Tuppenny Trash

Yeah that sounds about right at the mo

Postcode snobbery.

My cousin (and long-time nemesis) moved to a new house as her now-estranged husband's keeping their house. She's naturally pleased about the house, but oddly evasive about the new location. It took ten minutes' worth of diplomatic psychological warfare to get a vague answer out of her.

The vague answer? South Chelsea.

A few more questions finally revealed the actual location: Balham. She insists Balham is part of South Chelsea, which doesn't even exist. This sort of snobbery irritates me.

has she not noticed the river and several miles in between chelsea and balham?

Apparently not.

Well, she had selective sight when we were kids. She'd suddenly elbow my face and claim she didn't see me while I nursed my nosebleed. Perhaps her selective sight's returned.

oh yes indeed, i too have relatives with selective reality disorder

I haven't heard it for years but the ones who live in St. Reatham or Clarm. No it's Streatham and Clapham.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQciegmLPAo

It wasn't exactly well promoted outside of London though. I didn't even know they were on.

If it were me, I'd try and phone him on his mobile. If you get no answer or go straight into voicemail, the message is clear, i.e. they want to cut ties.

Loving their work.


I have a simple solution for that. I don't get Sky channels in HD.


Woo girls. 'How I Met Your Mother' an American comedy series covered that very well in one episode.


There is no way I'm sticking any cutting implement up my nose. It's a very delicate area. Tweezers for me for the odd hair that sticks out.

Things that cheese me off, or at least have been noticed, in the clubbing (high street & rave) world:

• People wearing rucksacks and puffer jackets (why?)
• arrogant bouncers
• rugger/rugby types herded together in scrums with their matching jerseys, sleeves pulled up the forearms, collars turned up, waistband too tight and body odour too rampant
• people attempting to push in at the bar
• predatory males in leather jackets or over produced hair styles who encircle girls and then just stare at them
• high street DJ's who play the obscure 12 minute Italian piano remix of a pop song to highlight their cool
• overblown back stretches or on dancefloor body massages for those who have hardly moved a muscle all night
• ghost farters who cut the cheese in your immediate locale and then vanish
• people who pay for drinks using credit cards which almost trebles the waiting time for everyone else
• bags, coats or jumpers heaped on the floor to fell passing pundits
• the fact that wherever I stand I'm always on the invisible path that everyone seems compelled to use to cross the nightclub
• people who barge past without the merest hint of courtesy or 'excuse me'
• having to say 'no thank you' at least 15 times to a multitude of over-zealous non-licensed cabs when you leave
• guys who still believe that excessive dirty male sweat is attractive to women and then choose to stand close to you. Oh for the days of cigarette smoke to drown out the human body odour.
• people that are unwilling to move when you DO politely ask to get past
• glasses or bottles just dropped on the dancefloor leading to dancing instability and/or broken limbs
• idiots who either just completely stop for no reason when you are walking behind them or push their way onto the dancefloor to then stand motionless right infront of you
• slipping down or tripping up the over worn and almost threadbare carpeted stairs
• door latches in toilets that simply do not work
• wet, sticky bars that give you nowhere to lean your arm/hands while you wait an eternity to be served
• prats who confuse their cheap bottle of lager with an F1 drivers champagne bottle when Madness comes on and they soak everyone in a five metre radius
• morons who were never made aware of the boundaries of personal body space at school and are able to position themselves an inch from your face and remain oblivious to your presence
• the fact that the club is full of honeys yet the only thing rubbing past is some gurning, sweating, shirtless chav
• and the fact that almost every time I leave a club I always do so empty handed!

Ahh, the crying and sneezing that comes from nasal hair removal. You end up looking like a state after 5 mins. Puffy nose, red eyes, raging anger...

Haha I love this one.

When me and the wife go shopping, I buy enough cans of Pepsi (the only drink I like) to last me quite a while, and the wife gets other soft drinks and cordial. "I don't like Pepsi" she says,
She drink all of hers in about two days flat and then starts drinking my Pepsi's !!

Certain women who have a baby, then proceed to turn into a big fat walking blob in the following years/indefinitely.

Relatives who (thankfully) say their goodbyes at the end of their stay, yet return an hour later with a bloody pet in tow! Who asked them for an encore?!

That's a bit of an urban myth - I think it originates from a stand-up routine or something. We used to live in Clapham and sometimes used to call it Clarm as a joke, but I've never once heard anyone seriously call it that.

South Chelsea !! Hahaa people have been trying that one on for years!

( battersea rise ! )

That's possible, my mum worked with someone who did call Streatham St. Reatham, but may have heard it as a joke and used it. No idea if she used Clarm or the battersea one.

Finally finding a bridesmaid dress everyone likes only to find out after all the fuss and drama, the sizes I need are out of stock.

From Wiki:


Is Chelsea more up market than Wandsworth?

(I'm from Yorkshire so my knowledge of London districts is rather vague)

A box at Chelsea FC is considerably better than one in HMP Wandsworth

Yes and no. Both have nice streets and rough spots.

Reputation-wise, Wandsworth is a nice, leafy but dull suburb. Some of the area is a bit run down, a quarter of the area is a home to seriously wealthy families and the rest is a home to ordinary people. However, quite a few people associate it with a certain prison, which they believe tarnishes the name somewhat.

Chelsea has a reputation of being a 'posh town' for wealthy shoppers, eccentric and oft-aristocratic residents, artistic couples, trust fund babies and couples in their 50s. People tend to think Chelsea as the most affluent area in Central London, but I think it lost its crown a long time ago.