Yes. Part of his job was taking telephone support calls, and we can't have such speech patterns used on the phone: it creates a bad impression, innit. He wasn't technically the best, either, and his knowledge of certain areas (in which he claimed expertise on his CV) was, er, optimistic, innit.

Never mind the phone, I couldn't put up with any colleague that kept saying "innit" all the time...

It's like the "USB conundrum". Plug in a USB stick without looking at it. The probability that it is the right or wrong way up should be 50/50, yeah? But it defies the laws of probability as the chances it's the wrong way up vastly exceed 50%. Statisticians everywhere are currently examining this phenomenon. When the reason is discovered, scientists are going to use it, plus nano-technology and graphene, to make sure that a special-order burger in Burger King arrives with the toppings/additions you actually wanted.

This drives me mad. You don't graduate pre-school, you finish pre-school and move automatically to the next one. We're essentially congratulating them for growing older, we already have birthdays!

I didn't have any of this crap when I was at school and I'm hoping it's a fad that's over by the time I have kids.

Oops (runs to do 6-months worth of Ebay feedback).

When trolleys or prams take up the entire supermarket aisle and the people responsible are having a conversation like no tomorrow.

MOVE YOUR TROLLEY AND YOUR PRAM AND LET ME THROUGH!!!

Shhh... You can't say that! It's every parents human right to leave their pushchair blocking the walkway and also let little jai-don and laci-mai run riot.
Sadly I have spelled the names correctly and without capitals.

People on forums being mendacious to hide their true agenda.

People on forums who know what mendacious means.

(I know - it's a person who likes mending things.)

Haha I rather like your version.

mendacious
mɛnˈdeɪʃəs/Submit
adjective
not telling the truth; lying.
"mendacious propaganda"
synonyms: lying, untruthful, dishonest, deceitful, false, dissembling, insincere, disingenuous, hypocritical, fraudulent, double-dealing, two-faced, Janus-faced, two-timing, duplicitous, perjured, perfidious; .

Yes, by the end of the interview, I was beginning to look like that Edvard Munch painting.

"Janus-faced"?!? They made that up.

No they didn't.

We used to have a Christmas temp who worked in the home entertainment department and he called every customer mate, bruv or fella which was fine when you had the sort of customer who didn't mind that, but it was clear not every customer appreciated it. Even when we quickly took him to one side and asked him not to say it.

He was actually a very good salesman but unfortunately apart from the above he also liked to come in with a cup of coffee or a can of Coke and sit at the desk. On Sundays he loved to change one of the TV's with the loudest soundbar to Capital or Radio 1 and turn it up full. No matter how many times you came round and turned it down saying there were complaints, he'd quickly turn it back up. One day I got so fed up of asking him politely and with a customer who complained to me stood behind me I just walked in said I've asked you three times to please turn it down because we're getting complaints so I just unplugged the whole rack and walked away. The customer laughed and shook my hand

He was genuinely surprised when they let him go!

The funny thing was the customer had a 'resting bitch face' and always looked miserable and angry, but they were actually really funny... he didn't know that.

They should change it to "Womack-faced" now

Yes, I know about Janus, but "Janus-faced" as a common-or-garden adjective?

You can string all sorts of words together with a hyphen to make a compound adjective, but I think that's missing the point.

"He looked at the entry in an I-think-they're-taking-the-piss way." I-think-they're-taking-the-piss doesn't therefore become considered a word (whereas hyphenated nouns are usually considered as such).

More like anus-faced.

So, I've had a shit night's sleep. And I've now had to listen to the banging from upstairs on and off since 6.30am. Having had a word with them about this before, it's obvious they don't give a shit because they have their grandchildren with them. I've spent the weekend with a cousin and their children, including a one year old. They, unlike the people who live above me, actually expect their children to be quiet. Or rather, not to be running around banging.

Ha! On the other hand, our camera has a micro-USB connection and I have never got it wrong. I began thinking that maybe micro connectors were (somehow) reversible, so I turned it over and it would not go in. It's uncanny!

I applaud you for that, Tiger Rag. I don't partake in social media, but I contribute to several forums and I get quite upset by some of the language used. There is no need for it, and the moderators should clamp down on such contributors.

Arrange to get up one night at 3.30am and start banging on the wall with a hammer. They'll get the message.

People who get "insure" and "ensure" muddled.

People who know their weight in kilos, or/and their height in metres. These people are either insane or French (and I don't know which is worse).

Neighbours who don't know how to be adults and approach you about a problem. Ringing the council to ring me about absolutely everything. You know where I live, you see me everyday speak to me!

When you're paying for a (small) item in a shop and you've neatly (all right, anally) got the exact money, and the person on the till looks at it momentarily as if you're trying to pull a fast one...

I don't see the need for it either. There's a Facebook group I post on a lot and no one ever swears. Actually, I did once and got told off.

The guy I'm referring to, almost all his posts contain a lot of swear words. There's no need for it.

God, yes. Happens to me every single time.