This is totally trivial because I completely understand (and respect) the circumstances, buuuuut.....

I was due a delivery today but missed it due to popping out for no longer than 10 minutes and the next redelivery date is the 28th. I can't even pick it up at the post office as it's gone back to DHL and the nearest pickup point is too far away, even when driving.

EDIT: It wasn't a Christmas present, btw.

I always get deliveries to my work now as it's staffed 24/7. Can't do with the waiting around at home thing. It's still just as bad at work though when it's an important one and I'm hounding them with emails to know the exact moment it arrives.

That website sounds mean....but I have loads of material they could put up there.

I work in a school and our guilty pleasure is giggling at art work that looks rude. Our favourite was a sheep that looked like a fluffy penis. Balls and everything. And then there was Jack and Jill. Jack looked like he'd been mauled by a bear as he rolled down the hill and Jill had a willy. Not forgetting Stripper Incy Wincey with nipple tassels. I hadn't even noticed that one and had put it slap bang in the middle of the wall display. It was only when a teacher was doubled over wheezing and roaring at Slutty Incy that I saw it. And then it was all I could see.

We've come to the conclusion that if you study children's artwork long enough the phallic symbolism will be evident.


Sellotape in general is peeing me off. I think I have some kind of weird static magnetism to Sellotape and my fingers end up encased in the b*stard stuff. I even got a foolproof wrist dispenser and still it beats me.

Oh and awkward packaging that makes you admit defeat and fetch scissors.

Ballpoint pens of the disposable Bic type.

How come they don't fall foul of the "being fit for the purpose they are sold for" rule? Has one of these pens *ever* got to the bottom of its ink supply before stopping working?

If I bought any sort of drink and the bottom half was undrinkable, it wouldn't be allowed. If I bought washing-powder tablets where half were unusable, it wouldn't be allowed. If I bought a book where half the pages were blank, it wouldn't be allowed.

Do cheap biros have some special law protecting them or something?

What about "Oven roasted" chicken etc !

Even worse is the packaging that beats scissors Or especially when you BUY scissors and you need scissors to open the scissors
Packaging like this is bullshit.

Same with "deep fried" Mars bar...how else would anyone eat a Mars bar?

People who adopt yoga positions in public places.

Once again, craft beer.

Why does it all have to taste sweet and fruity? What's wrong with having beer that tastes of beer?

'Citrus notes', back in the old days we had a word for beer with 'citrus notes', we called it 'shandy'.

It'a all a bit strange, you would think that someone would have told the hapless (looks like a homeless person, sounds like a Victoria Wood character) Mark that Merino wool comes from Merino sheep not a special type of goat:

http://www.merino.com/wool/the-fibre...sting-in-wool/

I think they were trying to link Merino wool and Cashmere, which is from goats:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cashmere_wool

Amritsar (famed for it's Golden Temple, the centre of the Sikh religion) is in the Punjab:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amritsar

The city and the region are geographically close...but how could they have gotten it so wrong.

Kashmir isn't in Amritsar and Amritsar isn't in Kashmir:

http://i.imgur.com/nxTshDh.jpg

(I did recently discover on a episode of "The Chase" that part of Kashmir is in China...which I didn't know before...but that's not important now )

TJC's parent company has it's headquarters in India, this is their Commercial Director, Amit, who is always co-presenting ("in front of you" (he says this a lot)):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf9LTIHcxFg

Most of the stuff they say on shopping channels should be taken with a large pinch of salt but sometimes they come out with things that are completely wrong

I think the "pan fried" thing means it isn't done on an open griddle (like burgers, eggs etc. often are in cafes/diners).

The "oven roasted" might be to distinguish the method from "spit roasted". And you can even have a fairly dismal attempt at "roasting" in a microwave.

a woman on my fb feed saying Happy Holidays instead of Happy CHristmas to try and look pc. It's christmas.

Many thanks Foodoo

I did what you said and got a refund the next day, all that nonsense over and done with so thank you again.

Always best to use the Chat I find, quicker as you tend to get an answer there and then.

When I lose the cracker that has the fortune telling fish in it. The only gift I want.

People who dot their Facebook posts (or anything else for that matter) with #feelingblessed

Yep, identity politics.

Also virtue signalling, feminazism, champagne socialism and the politics of envy.

Basically anything that challenges white male hegemony.

Still, as long as we have phrases like 'Identity Politics' to shut down all debate then at least us straight white blokes will only have to play the ****ing victim to a minimal extent.

People who post words like hegemony.

Triggered!

When you give someone a Christmas prezzie and they didn't get you one so they hastily haul out a tell tale box of generic chocs that has been gathering dust at the back of the drawer....
Look you didn't get me anything. Truly I don't mind. Just deal with the social embarrassment and please don't insult my intelligence this way

Maybe they play Scrabble a lot

People who try not to look unemployed.
Try or not, they stand out like sore thumbs.

Even when I'm employed I look unemployed.

It was funny a few years ago in PC World the staff were obviously watching me even though I wasn't acting suspiciously and a few queries were answered as though it was to much trouble. That was until they realised I was there to spend £900, then the attitude quickly changed!

It's also Hanukkah this year

When you're in a forum and have an issue with something another member did. You go to email a moderator, only to find the guy you've an issue with is in fact one of the mods. Doh. Guess it's time to pick a new username and rejoin, darn it. - and it wasn't something bad, just something nono.

re: seloptape - those cheap plastic contraption with the blade and the place you put the selopape roll, well those things are a godsend.

but the thing that miffs me is when you've carefully and masterfully wrapped a gift, only to find a hair got caught on the tape and now it looks like you're sending them something extra from your nether regions, eek