I got behind ages ago and I've been trying to catch up but have hit mid-June and I seem to be getting further and further behind. Could someone please bring me up to date:

- Phil hired some goons to smash up the bar and they inadvertently put Sharon in hospital. It comes out Johnny hit upstairs which Linda tells everyone she's proud he didn't go wading in but again, she can't say anything right.

- Nothing further has happened regarding Shirley being Mick's mother other than Phil mentioning it.

- Dean is preparing to open his barber's but seems that he doesn't actually intend to open it and is going along with it was part of some greater scheme.

- Denise is back from Portugal (or wherever) and has seemingly committed to stand by Ian.

- Ian is still lost over Lucy and hires Masood to help in the burger place.

- Ian apparently spend the night with the prostitute when Lucy was murdered and she is now blackmailing him (am I right in thinking she's an old character?)

- Roxy finds out Alek was only dating her because Ronny was paying him. They decide to stay together although it is just revealed he has a family back home.

- Ronny accepts a date with Charlie Cotton

- Tosh and Tina are back together and apparently committed to trying for a child even though Tina is too flighty and Tosh is a nutcase. No baby deserves these two for parents!

Please help!

1. Phil admitted to Shirley that he was responsible for Sharon's attack. Shirley confronted Phil over it but Sharon overheard. Sharon initially wanted to leave Phil but realised she had nowhere to go so she has now decided to fleece him. Phil has no idea Sharon knows.

2. No - nothing much has happened. Phil knows and so does Aunt Babe since she tried to blackmail Shirley with it when Shirley caught her and Dean hiding drugs at Dean's barber shop. Nobody else knows yet.

3. Yes Dean initially wanted to fleece Stan but Stan saw through him and now Dean has given up that scheme and seems to be more interested in pursuing Linda/making her jealous by flirting with Lauren. Stan knows Dean has his eye on a woman but is unaware that Linda is the woman.

4-5: Not sure about those two but yes they happened.

6: Ian had a one night stand with Rainie (Cora's daughter, a prostitute) behind Denise's back the night Lucy died and then lied to the police about his whereabouts. Patrick knows the truth but is in hospital after suffering a stroke and can't speak. Rainie blackmailed Ian who met up with her to give her the money. Mick was on his way home after the swimming gala he attended to raise money for Janet (after Ian taught him to swim) and saw Ian meeting with Rainie. Rainie propositioned Mick who said no but the police saw him and arrested him or kerb crawling. After learning the truth from Ian, Mick confided in Linda but acted on his lawyer's advice by pleading guilty and covering for Ian. When Cora found out the prostitute involved in Mick's arrest was her daughter she told the whole pub about the arrest.

7. Ronnie and Charlie are no longer together. She dumped him and left the square for a while after confiding in Phil that she's pregnant.

I would zap the Kat scenes giving birth..she is hideously face pulling again..looked like she was having sex on the zap mode

- Ronnie's pregnant and decided she needed to get away from the Square. Only Phil knows.

- Linda's accepted Johnny's sexuality. Johnny went to pride, met an Italian, popped his cherry and said Italian went home.

- Lee returned and revealed he saw Billy arguing with Lucy on the night she died. Billy became a suspect because he had a key to Jake's flat and was stealing fish from the chippy. Billy made a statement with the police. We saw 'someone' burying Lucy's phone and purse on his allotment to frame him.

- Pam found pics of Lucy under Billy's freezer but he said they were Peter's. He threw them in the bin bags suspiciously.

- Roxy put some laxatives in Aleks' food as revenge but forgave him and is ok with being his bit on the side.

- Jake left after being released.

- Linda and Mick aren't actually married. Only Dean knows.

- Dean has become infatuated with Linda and pinched her bum.

- Sharon overhead Phirley talking about the attack and is planning revenge on Phil with the help of Marcus Christie. Only Linda knows.

- Jay knows about Max and Emma.

- Carol's had a double mastectomy and knows Nick is alive.

- Bianca got into debt but Charlie cleared it.

- Patrick found out about Ian and Rainie but suffered a stroke afterwards. Anthony made a brief return.

- Liam gave Tina's hash cakes to Tiff leading the social to be called on Bianca. Liam took the blame. Carol confronted the Carters leading Tosh to split with Tina. Aunt Babe had to move the weed and Dean said she could store it at 'Blades.' Shirley found out and burnt it all. Aunt Babe threatened to reveal her secret but didn't and went home to Sylvie.

- Lady Di is back in The Vic.

- Jean returned wanting to free Stacey. She slit her wrists and was admitted to hospital. Ollie returned. Stacey is now considering appealing for her family's sake.

- Kat gave birth to twin boys.

- Ian taught Mick to swim. Mick managed to swim one length but then got arrested for kerb crawling when he saw Ian and Rainie and stopped. He explained to Linda that it was Ian but is covering for him because he knows he's under enough stress with the TV appeal coming up and that it happened the night Lucy died.

- Cora spent the night with Stan and accompanied Linda to the court and released the prossie was her daughter, Rainie. She saw she was back on drugs and gave her some money to feed her fix before lambasting Mick in front of a crowded Mick for kerb crawling.

Few. Hope that helps.

blink and you miss him pointless brief scene(S)

Well it was hardly pointless.

But it was fairly laughable that his most meaningful scene was with Kat and not his sick father. But then didn't he leave not long after Patrick arrived?

Kat and Alfie have beautiful twin boys, no names yet but there's been speculation that they could be named Bert and Ernie after the Sesame Street muppet characters but we don't know for certain.

Stacey and Jean have both been back, Jean wanted Stacey to appeal against her sentence and blame her bipolar disorder for her murdering Archie but she wouldn't and Jean slit her wrists and ended up in hospital, after she was admitted to a mental hospital leaving Stacey's daughter Lily with Kat and Alfie.

Alfie has been a bit of a plonker getting himself involved in a feud with meerkat market inspector Aleks Shirovs who incidentally is the significant other of Alfie's ex wife Roxy Mitchell, Aleks apparently has a wife and daughter back in Latvia and Alfie found out after browbeating Eeyore - alike Tambam into giving him the password to Aleks laptop and subsequently told Roxy who put laxatives in Aleks' dinner and gave him the runs but they later made up. Alfie has now lost his job on the market because he went off with Kat to a baby shop because he had heard they give expectant parents free stuff if the woman's waters break in the shop but it was a false alarm and Aleks has now given the stall to Donna.

Mick finally plucked up courage to get in the pool at the swimming gala and swam one length while Katy Perry's Roar played and Nancy, Johnny and Linda all jumped in the pool with Mick and did a little victory jig while little Janet smiled and everyone cheered and clapped and then Mick sang along to Oasis in the car but then he got wrongly arrested for kerb crawling because after the swimming gala he drove home alone and saw Ian in a car but Ian drove off, he'd been to give some money to Cora's daughter Rainie who is a prostitute he slept with on the night Lucy died and Mick got arrested after Rainie propositioned him, he later told Linda who believed his story but then he pleaded guilty in court and ended up with a fine because Ian asked him to keep schtum but Cora found out and shocked everyone in the pub by telling them that Mick is a kerb crawler and upset Linda.

Patrick had a massive stroke after ignoring a funny turn he had a week or so before, he collapsed after confronting Ian with the news that he'd found out about his fling with Rainie and Ian was pleased when he found out that Patrick couldn't speak.

Bianca might lose her kids after Tiff accidentally took hash cakes into school for her leavers disco and the headmaster confiscated them and phoned Bi who was a little drunk after drinking wine with Carol and Bi bollocked the head and he called Social Services. The hash cakes belonged to Tina who was selling them to raise money for IVF treatment so that she and Tosh could have a baby, Aunt Babe made them but Tina left them in the caff and Liam bought them for Tiff but was unaware what they actually were and now Bi hates the Carters so Whitney and Lee have to meet in secret.

Carol had a double mastectomy but seems to be bearing up quite well.

Carol found out that Nick Cotton is very much alive after his son Charlie left his phone and Carol answered it and it was Nick, he is due to darken our screens very soon.

well IMO it was