Was there ever a sadder sight than one Max Branning holding a wine glass aloft to an empty room of angrily-departed family? I'm starting to feel like Max is maybe two steps away from listening to Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day in a non-ironic way, propping up a lonely bar in Dalston, drinking an Old Fashioned and making eyes at the aging hooker across the room, and finally disappearing one dark night with nobody noticing or caring.

What can we do with a problem like Max Branning?

Just Max and his penis sitting at the table toasting their good health. As it was always meant to be.

"It's just you and me now, little Max. Just you and me." *sips wine, slowly starts to cry*

I thought this thread was a euphemism.

I bet Max is excellent at 'toasting' himself and if he met any premiership footballers along with a couple of bimbos would really enjoy a bit of 'roasting' as well!

I was upstairs waiting. the greedy pig drank all the wine

I bet Max has been 'toasting himself' every night since Emma has been giving him the cold shoulder.

I bet his bedroom looks like an explosion in a wallpaper paste factory...

major lols keyser!

Thanks I do my best!

Poor Max. Once he's finished with the Green Day it will be onto 'All by Myyyyyyyseeeellllffffffff!"

And yes, I also thought toasting was a euphemism!

Lets not imagine that.....he probably gone through tons of bog roll as it is!

Forget toasting himself. He should have topped himself, the miserable bastard!

Max Branning donning a blonde wig (most likely Carol's) à la Bridget Jones and sinking down a bottle of red wine before breaking out into song?

I was going to make a joke about cracks and polyfilla but I want to maintain a sense of decorum here.

That would be the most character development he's had in years.

I can imagine Max singing 'Lola' by the Kinks as he decides to try something new...

There's a first time for everything.

I am off to kip but I expect this thread to develop into another classic - just like Max's diaries.

Night folks.

Well yes, shouting at people, being miserable and shagging around-just a typical Branning really. He needs shaking up.

And castrated himself for good measure. That penis has a life of its own.

He'd probably serenade poor Lola with it, not realising what it's actually about.

I keep thinking the title says "Tossing"

Same, nearly choked on my milk. I thought wow DTC really is changing EastEnders.

You have a smutty mind, cybersq.


As do you, JOP.

what on earth is the matter with the guy

he is acting like a spoilt brat and the biggest idiot