I'm unappreciating what they're going to do to Wuthering Heights on Saturday If the band don't murder it then Alison will. No doubt they're going to flood the floor with mist but it'll take more than that to hide her plodding feet.

On the contrary, I think whoever's thought of casting Alison as Catherine Earnshawe has a cracking sense of humour and I would like to go for a pint with them. I hope she's in a harness and I hope she flies in Aljaz's window like a wrecking ball. (I'd bust into Aljaz's window like a wrecking etc etc etc) I can't imagine anything this Hallowe'en will be embarassing as Ben Cohen as Frosty The Jizz Lord was and I don't think I've ever looked forward to any costume more than I am Judy Murray as Cruella DeVil.

Unappreciating Karen('s producer) nicking Natalie's iconic Hallowe'en jive choice though. She won't get eaten by a giant rubber plant nearly as well.

Good call on the harness Monkseal- someone has to be flying.

Agree that Judy as Cruella could be awesome. Will Anton be dressed as The Biggest Spotty Dog you Ever Did See?

Judy will make a great Cruella .. I can see it already Oh goodness! .. I hadn't even contemplated Alison flying! Carnage!! Run for the hills/moors Alijaz!

I suppose Andy and Jamie as Jasper and Horace would be too much to dream of...

I am going for the harnes/ lift contraption for Frankie with defying gravity.

I have no idea where they will go with Allison as the consumptive Cathy, Aljaz as Heathcliffe no problem,

I just hopes Karen closes her knees a bit in the jive, goat wrest
Ing samba is still haunting me

I drop in occasionally but for all the wrong reason - to surreptitiously appreciate the humour.

Unappreciates self and gives me a good slap.

Ha ha, oh please let it be true

Any chance they could do the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain version of Wuthering Heights?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF0VaBxb27w

My strictly insider monkeys tell me Alison is going to be the rabid preacher Revd Jabes Branderham from Wuthering Heights, whereas Aljaz will be Zillah, Nelly Dean's replacement housekeeper. There are going to be live puppies hung from the back of chairs, mouldering corpses dug up and more than one person dying of tuberculosis. It's going to be epic.

You raise my hopes up too far 😪

Please, please, please, please, please let FFG's costume be Cousin Itt. Pleeeeeeeaaaase.

Would so love that but she is going to be precocious little Wednesday isn't she

She'll be hopeless as Wednesday. If there's one thing Wednesday doesn't do, it's GURN.

Oh christ, hadn't thought of the band attempting to sing it! This is going to require vast amounts of alcohol!

On the other hand, this is a sight I would want to enjoy sober in order to fully appreciate it

We can't have a Wednesday AND a Saturday in the same show

If the producers wanted a Masterchef judge on the show, why didn't they go for this judge from Masterchef India?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/...08_468x605.jpg

I doubt he'd have been out first and Aliona would have been much happier.

We'd all have been much happier!
(Though he does seem to have a wonky left boob, like Tess. I've looked at that photo too carefully, haven't I? )

His boobs look pretty symmetrical in this pic:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9aGkUinxIc...KhannaEDIT.jpg

He looks pretty good in his chef's whites as well:

http://www.bolegaindia.com/images/go...1325920660.jpg

which he's entitled to wear because he's a genuine Michelin starred chef and not a bloody greengrocer!

I've been pretty obsessed since he was on Masterchef Australia, where he was helpful and encouraging to the contestants and displayed a dangerous level of charm.

Please can it be Scott who dies* of tuberculosis. Or athlete's foot. Or Jenkin's ear, or anything, really.
ETA: * metaphorically - I have no wish for him to be harmed permanently.

The extended version of Aljaz's Big Girl Sandwich is now available on RedTube and it is pure filth. The poor guy got squeezed so hard he is now 7ft tall and will be making a cameo as Lurch in Scott and Joanne's Addams Family foxtrot.

As Andy's sudden good run of form has suspiciously coincided with Judy's run on Strictly, and winning is stopping him being in the audience, sadly that's not going to happen. If the cards ever fall that she's due to do a rhumba with Anton expect Andy to be entering any sporting event that will have him in an effort to make sure he can't be there.

Fully on board with the Masterchef India judge, very fully

Aljaz leaving training

OH well done, do know you this year, so far this year we have almost had to send care packages for Aliona, now it's Aljaz, I feel guilty that this year I have never felt the need to send any sort of care package for Joanne.

Perhaps she needs a week with Nancy De olio to teach her how to be a woman.