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This is Most Definitely Not An Appreciation Thread **Part 21**


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Old 01-09-2014, 13:25
chitarivera
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I have a question about Pixie Lott.
Did she go to stage school and therefore study dance..........and therefore might she have an advantage over others who are true 'beginners?'

Same question regarding The Saturday.

I need to know the full picture so I can decide whether to unappreciate.
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Old 01-09-2014, 13:50
Rednell
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I guess she probably did. Her wikipedia says she took part in West end shows. The Saturday did dance lessons but not ballroom/latin.

Edit- I wonder if Monkseal has a list of stage school and non stage school attendees to compare and contrast abilities.
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Old 01-09-2014, 14:06
kaycee
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Whoever thought up and wrote the Strictly Cliche Bingo was truly inspired! Hilarious, but so true!
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Old 01-09-2014, 14:14
SaraV1308
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Whoever thought up and wrote the Strictly Cliche Bingo was truly inspired! Hilarious, but so true!
Strictly Bingo has been doing the rounds on here for several years. To my knowledge it existed during the Scott Maslem year (if not before).
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Old 01-09-2014, 14:23
spider9
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I think it originated during the Scott Maslem year. Scott Mills would love it, who's going to email it to him?

I think a reminder of the different dance styles could also be in order if anyone can find it.
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Old 01-09-2014, 14:24
aggs
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Strictly Bingo has been doing the rounds on here for several years. To my knowledge it existed during the Scott Maslem year (if not before).
Isn't there a handy dance guide as well - and a Contestant Ikea Catalogue?
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Old 01-09-2014, 14:49
Rednell
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The ikea catalogue is a work of genius! I'm looking forward to seeing the latest autumn/winter version, due out later this month.
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Old 01-09-2014, 14:56
Agent Krycek
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I have a question about Pixie Lott.
Did she go to stage school and therefore study dance..........and therefore might she have an advantage over others who are true 'beginners?'

Same question regarding The Saturday.

I need to know the full picture so I can decide whether to unappreciate.
Thom Evans was in a boy band, so he may be fully trained in sitting on stools and standing up during key changes in a song.
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Old 01-09-2014, 15:05
nosilauk
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Is there a list of acronyms/pet names anywhere?

[I'm struggling to guess TTF]
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Old 01-09-2014, 15:28
chitarivera
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Thom Evans was in a boy band, so he may be fully trained in sitting on stools and standing up during key changes in a song.
OMG
even more to unappreciate then.

Wonder if he went bankrupt?
It seems a lot of these boyband chappies did.


I wonder if any of them use their 'reality' show fees to pay off their creditors? If not, I unappreciated that as well.

Although I can appreciate that Strictly hasn't lowered itself to book Lee Ryan.
Small mercies and all that.
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Old 01-09-2014, 15:34
chitarivera
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I´m quite partial to a !!!1!!! from time to time. = uber smug smilie?

Should we dig out Strictly Bingo as well?

For Posterity and our new zelebs, the original Strictly Cliche Bingo from 2011. Some names may have to be replaced but you get the gist (plus bonus points if you can make Erin cry still applies if you ask me!):

STRICTLY CLICHE BINGO - for your entertainment

Hello fellow Strictly fans!

For your viewing pleasure, the Non Appreciation Thread brings you STRICTLY CLICHE BINGO!

Made for your entertainment, it is wonderfully crafted to bring you the ultimate do's and don'ts of Strictly.

Print it, Laminate it and play at home.

Use it as a drinking game (amounts at your discretion, too much alcohol will....yada yada yada)

Play along in this thread and spot Bingo! offences on ITT or the Main Show.

Send it too your favourite pro or celeb to warn them of the pitfalls of SCD.

The person to send it to ITT will receive Triple Bonus Points.

From the Non App Thread we wish you much ENJOYMENT.


♥♥♥STRICTLY CLICHE BINGO CARD♥♥♥


Mention Dead Relative who would have loved to see you do this.

Bring cute ickle kids to training - bonus points if they are your own.

In absence of ickle kids, grandkids are acceptable. Opting for nephews and nieces may be seen as trying too hard and could lead to a deduction of points.

Get a man-flu/cold in a tough week - wear loads of scarves and get bonus points.

Create a nickname/funny teamname/weird pronunciation of your name - bonus points if the latter is awarded to you by Bruno. Extra points if Craig uses your name and fabulous in syllables.

Have famous friends in the audience who can be mentioned ad nauseam during a live show and who - of course - you are mortified to dance in front of.

Nans in the audience are vote-winners - dead nans in the audience lead to maximum points on the bingo.

Complain about your heavy workload on top of your SCD schedule. - bonus points for video evidence.

If possible, create a bit of a showmance but make it believable. If you are already involved or your partner is, opt for a bromance with a fellow contestant who also never thought they'd do this show but still signed on.

Be competitive but keep it to yourself, too much of a good thing rubs viewers the wrong way.

Have a birthday, and be over excited and 'surprised' by a single, half filled balloon, preferably brought in by your TV husband/wife/mum/dad and a plate of stale nibbles. A life-changing birthday can last a few weeks. If you cannot have a birthday then a wedding could work

Invent your own dance step that you use in every dance whether it goes or not ... see Tittarubba, The Prancing Pony and The Hello Ducky Shimmy. Only advised to those who reach the latter parts of the competition, say past-Wembley.

Have a wound. Jade Johnson levels of wounding are not to be encouraged but a slight flesh wound, possibly involving an Ugg boot and packet of frozen peas could work. A bandage that can be revealed is always a go-er, although bleeding blisters are a bit off putting. Try to avoid taking a bye (infectious illness is the only excuse for this and you have to come back the next week still bearing the scabs). Just slotting in an operation on your day off is also good. Extra points are given if you can manage to wound your pro.

During the week, go visit a salsa club, or an AT night, or a tea dance to really get the feel of a dance. Then do not do anything authentically salsa-y, tangoish or foxtrotty on Saturday night.

If you are a man famous for playing a team sport, make sure you have at least one clip of you returning to your club so your team mates can josh you and then when you're out of the room say "seriously I think he's really brave" in the tone of someone who's just going for a tour of duty in Kandahar. This also works for soap actors/actresses and helps producers find their next contestants (/victims)

If you are forced to fill VT time by visiting a school to perform in front of a schoolclass you have absolutely no connection to you are not securing the ovarian vote. Be worried and decline as it will not work. If you are connected to the kids, go for it because cute kids equal bonus points.

Hammer home your superfan credentials, mentioning ad nauseum how you can't believe your luck at getting to wear the same dress as your toilet roll dolly and swoon in the arms of a rather toned hot dancer on a Saturday. While this might give you bingo points, it will work adversely on your votes if express it too much

Have fun, mention how much fun you're having at every available opportunity, prove how much fun you're having by doing monkey impressions during rehearsals and by laughing inanely on ITT. Too much fun will lose you votes though, everything in moderation

If you're not having fun and you feel the public are picking up on this, have a cry, stomp out of the training room camera in tow and make your pro have a strop. Bonus points if the pro isn't James or Brendan. Extra points if you make your male pro cry. Triple bonus points for making Erin or Natalie cry.

Have a huge argument for the VT - make out you JUST CAN'T DO IT!! and your partner is expecting too much from you. Crying adds bonus points, as does leaving the room and slamming the door. Extra bonus points are considered for crouching down outside with head in hands and partner understandingly rubbing your back/arm. Points are only awarded if you miraculously pull it off on the night to make it look suspiciously like you could do it anyway and the strop was for the sole purpose of the VT!

If you are emerging through the ranks as a judges favourite/contender, appear humble and modest. The Prayer Hands of Thanks can be useful in this, but overuse can cause irritation and lose you votes. Also used is the hand over heart while mouthing thank you at the glowing comments with a simpering look intended to convey suprise at doing well but be aware that doing the "aw shucks what little me good??" routine will backfire majorly if you're clearly and always have been brilliant and can lead to a deduction of points plus the dubious Internet honour of being called "smug"

Have a journey, don't mention this journey, don't mention it as "j-word" either. "Rollercoaster" is skating close to the edge but won't lose you points. Extra points for being upfront about previous dahnce experience, though this might lose you votes.

Give it 110% or larger, anything less than 110% will make you seem like a slacker. Bonus points for using quantaties larger than 1000%

Rediscover your confidence through the twin mediums of dance & reality tv. Confidence may have been lost via divorce (the more the better, double bonus points available if you've been married more times than Patsy Kensit), having had an enforced career break due to babies, illness etc, or having had too many 21st birthdays. If you find yourself being this character within the Strictly cast, mention you are "Doing it for the Girls/Divorcees/Single Mums/Geriatrics with full control over their Private Parts", these are high points scorers but might fare less with voters if used too much. Triple bonus points if you are Doing it for the Lads.

Aim for Wembley, but don't mention it until two weeks beforehand, you might appear desperate. Don't mention getting to Blackpool, it's the final so you might come accross too confident.

Beware of War Drobe! Manage to piss them off and feel their wrath. Avoiding the Natalie Cassidy memorial bow will get you bonus points. Don't question them too much but stay true to your own fashion sense, be it good or bad. Whichever it is, will either get you votes or lose you votes based on viewers discretion.

Humour Brucie, he sure won't humour you. Bear with Tess, there's a point in there somewhere...surely...otherwise show her your guns. Hand guns are not cool and will lead to point deduction.

Be funny with Zoe on ITT but know when to stop - prolonged hilarity when the moment has passed, been cremated and scattered over the White Cliffs of Dover will lead to point deduction.

Finally just be yourself, or the best version of yourself, or the version of yourself you want the world to see without being fake, dammit your career depends on this shit!

Fantastic.
Thanks for the reminder.

You've missed one off the list though................
you get NO bonus points if you are Lulu.



EDIT
P.S
I know Strictly hasn't started yet and it's only 4.30pm but I've already had two rather LARGE glasses of wine and I'm having to backspace and correct an awful lot of typos.

Thought I'd get into the DOTS spirit early.

Well we DO have a shiny new thread and James Jordan has left.

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Old 01-09-2014, 15:35
Agent Krycek
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Is there a list of acronyms/pet names anywhere?

[I'm struggling to guess TTF]
Tiny Tree Frog - goes back to his salsa (I think) with Susanna when he was meant to look like Indiana Jones but looked more like a Tiny Tree Frog leaping across lilypads at the beginning (can't remember who came up with it).
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Old 01-09-2014, 15:51
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I have just found a flyer for the IKEA catalogue - phew! Have posted it.
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Old 01-09-2014, 15:52
Kmc1978
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I'm imagining that Thom might have some nifty armography from all that time having to communicate with Kelly Brook through chimp sign language. I hear she understands 197 words now.


Has anyone started a Post Of The Day thread yet? I want to nominate this one!
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:24
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Loving Strictly Bingo, however should it not be updated for 'no more Brucie' and 'the legend that is Claudia'!
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:34
chitarivera
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Is Zoe coming back to do ITT or has her OTT exuberance over Ian Waite caused her to spontaneously combust leading to the BBC replacing her?
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:42
Kmc1978
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I have just found a flyer for the IKEA catalogue - phew! Have posted it.
Excellent! Have resurrected the Lazy Journo thread too. Not a wonderful entry on my part but hopefully others will join in.
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:44
SaraV1308
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Is Zoe coming back to do ITT or has her OTT exuberance over Ian Waite caused her to spontaneously combust leading to the BBC replacing her?
Yes I believe Zoe is back.
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:45
SaraV1308
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Tiny Tree Frog - goes back to his salsa (I think) with Susanna when he was meant to look like Indiana Jones but looked more like a Tiny Tree Frog leaping across lilypads at the beginning (can't remember who came up with it).
Wasn't it the samba.... (although salsa/samba... not much to pick between them)... I seem to remember they were pretty much of a muchness but the judges were being OTT in Samba week.

I seem to remember leopard print featured in the costume....
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:48
SaraV1308
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Isn't there a handy dance guide as well - and a Contestant Ikea Catalogue?
I remember what you mean but I cant remember it having its own thread... just several posts within this thread. (Try the thread for early last year - approximately part 17/18).
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:49
SaraV1308
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I think it originated during the Scott Maslem year. Scott Mills would love it, who's going to email it to him?

I think a reminder of the different dance styles could also be in order if anyone can find it.
Someone so should send it to Scott Mills.... its the sort of thing that he would find hilarious....
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Old 01-09-2014, 16:51
Agent Krycek
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Wasn't it the samba.... (although salsa/samba... not much to pick between them)... I seem to remember they were pretty much of a muchness but the judges were being OTT in Samba week.

I seem to remember leopard print featured in the costume....
It could have been, sadly my main memory is of some horrific, over enthusiastic, side by side, shimmying/jiggling at one point, sadly burned into my brain
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Old 01-09-2014, 17:59
mimi dlc
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Isn't there a handy dance guide as well - and a Contestant Ikea Catalogue?
The dance guide was useful a few years ago when there were RULES and they were obeyed.

Now there are three main dances:
Random Latin
Random fast ballroom
Random Slow Ballroom....


Oh, and Rhumba
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Old 01-09-2014, 20:45
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The dance catalogue is worth resurrecting if anyone could find it, at least we would know what they were supposed to be doing. I think it was originally posted by one of the Nancy's,

I think Fancynancy or it could be Nancywith numbers.

But yes I think we should send them all to Scott Mills he would love them !
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Old 01-09-2014, 20:49
coppertop1
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the Rhumba, even without the definitive dance guide I do think the rhumba needs some sort of explanation

pointing at a distant bus whilst looking pained that it is the wrong number, then finally flinging yourself on the floor as you realise it is raining all whilst dressed in a see through sheet.
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