Please, please Mr Arch make their goodbye dance to I Want To Break Free.

Or I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair ......... and Off My Skin, and From Under My Fingernails, and It's Going to Involve Wire Wool and Dettol.

If they make it as far as Hallowe'en (please God no) she can have full Ghostbusters gear - it's been done before, but so have many other tunes been recycled.

Then - Daleks?

Did you have to?

Ugh!

Pass the brain bleach please.

Well on the whole I really quite liked tonight

Would immediately resign my NAT membership except for GGG and Alison, we have to free both Aleona and Aljaz.

He is just quietly desperate and the eye twitch is coming on nicely!

Aleona however has reached levels of disdain that is really impressive, her lip curl and eye roll in week one are already epic, he is going to be murdered if he stays in much longer, hmmm can I bear 3G just to see how far she can go without murdering him?

She looks like someone who would have some friends to have words with him, you know the sort of words that turn your bowels to ice and make you wonder if the jungles of Borneo are thick enough to hide in.

I don't know who I want out first Scott to end his misery,Gregg to end SO many people's misery, ditto Allison, or Judy who is going leave soon anyway. You know there is a complete Latin dance that is going to be danced badly by both of that team soon.

I thought Aljaz looked rather clammy and ashen. I expect his Quickstep or American Smooth will contain a tap solo where he taps out 'Call the police. She's keeping me in a basement' in Morse code.

With a chorus of 'please don't make her laugh' <twitch twitch>

Well, Scott has ballroom next, and theoretically FFG's ballroom choreography should be better than her Latin. Gregg got better when Aliona made contact with him, and has ballroom next - I know she could choreograph a non-touching ballroom, but may not be allowed to do so. Alison too has ballroom, Alijaz' strength.

Whereas Judy just got a 3, in an Anton ballroom, and she's not going for comically bad like that Widdecombe woman. She's got an Anton latin next... poor woman has no chance.

It was a surprisingly good first lot of dances. Yes, the music choices were gimmicky, a comedy VT sprung up and there were props galore, but the band was better than usual, the dances had lots of content, the tangos and jives were perhaps better than the waltzes and cha chas... 'Course wardrobe had some monstrosities just to restore some sanity to affairs.

Clueless Producer - So Aljaz, for your week 7 Charleston with Alison do you want The Laughing Policeman, The Laughing Gnome or Make 'Em Laugh?

(long silence)

Aljaz - I'm just going out. I may be some time.

Aljaz returns after "some time" with the laughing policeman. He sees Alison in comedy cop costume galumphing around the studio, waving her arms, cackling inanely and shattering windows. He appeals to the laughing policeman. The policeman stops laughing, pats Aljaz on the shoulder reassuringly and produces handcuffs. Aljaz collapses to the floor in gratitude. Alison does not notice any of this as she is too busy having fun, fun, funnity, fun.

I have to say my money is on Mark being the first celeb to produce a nan. Dead or alive is the bit I'm unsure about.

*delurks*

had to show my appreciation

*relurks*

He quite young, top everyone with a greatnan?

Didn't we hear that it was Salsa next for 3G? I would out my money on Aliona choreographing a barely contacting salsa ....

In theory FFG should be able to choreograph an ok ballroom - however it still might not be that good if she hasn't or doesn't teach him the basics. I need to watch it back but one of the reason's Scott's CCC was so terrible was the fact that it did look like he had no clue how the steps should be done correctly - like picking his feet up for steps when technically the toes should stay stroking the floor at all times - and the lock steps (one of the most basic steps (which can also come up in ballroom) where not locking/crossing behind or in front at all and were more mincey. If she just teaches the steps without explaining the technique at all even in ballroom Scott will be mincey even if FFG can cover up some of the inadequacy by ballroom hold and major back leading.

Say what you will about TTF (and I unappreciate myself for saying it) but it did seem to look like Frankiebot had the technique (or most of the technique) involved right. There might be too much gurning OTT face and too many pivots - but that's another thing ....

Overall I was pleasantly surprised how good the dances were last night - and in most cases the lack of too much faffing or props. I was surprised how good Steve's tango was and in my opinion it was better than Jake and Janette - but this might be because I thought Janette's technique was a little lacking and Jake was too hunched and it was the "typical Strictly domestic violence tango" whilst Steve's wasn't and I thought Ola did look like she wasn't necessarily leading it 100% of the time.

Of the ringah's I was most disappointed with Pixie's jive as the new bloke whose name escapes me didn't actually get HER to do much jiving. Thought there was more "jive content" in Tristan's dance with Jennifer - although she obviously struggled to perform it.

Tell me was Caroline there last night (after the intros) since I don't remember seeing her in the Tesspit/Claude9 after that - or before the end "keep dancing" bit.

Now I know where Andy Murray got his prosaic , no charisma personality . And he didnt lick it off the stones

But you just know that the deranged fans of Anton will vote to keep him in, even if Judy spends the entire dance sitting on the floor (which is likely, given that she could barely stand during a ballroom).

Unfortunately 100% true.

And we have our Smug .... Celeb this year .....(Simon). So smug in my view that he thought he would be getting 8s and be top of the leaderboard - although this might be Krotchetina's fault if she told him he was the best.

Can we have a Smug Singer?

I think JFG and Scott have at least 3 problems,
The first is Scott - who for someone who makes a living out of music has no musicality at all and a memory that flees and hides under pressure.
The second is that JFG seems to have Anton levels of distain for Latin.
The third, for me, is that she also seems to have arrived at Strictly still in performing to the back row of the theatre mode without realising this doesn't translate well on the TV. KFG seems to have caught on to that. Hopefully, she will as well, although Karen never seemed to.

I think Judy is a shoo in for bottom slot next week, it's the 3 or 4 above and any ties that will make it interesting. Has Anton ever been first boot?

He was kind of a first boot in series 6 with Gillian Taylforth, although it was back in the days where there was a split for the first few weeks. Technically, Phil Daniels was the first boot overall but GT & Anton were the first boots from their group.

I'm kind of wishing that Pasha had been partnered with a ninety-year old or a fun-funnity this year. I'm finding all his celeb partnerships are merging into one teeny-tiny, slightly forgettable bot montage. Also, has anyone seen any photos of Pasha lately? I fear he has been to some kind of 'Blue Steel' school of modelling over the summer.

I think Scott was in a full-body cringe for a lot of his dance, and was maybe too quiet to say, "please don't make me do that". He also suffered from being on his own/side by side so he couldn't take cues. Take Jennifer and Tristan - he left her on her own, but it was to put her on the table and face her so she could still get cued from him. Natalie kept Tim close, and he went off less often because of it.

I think Judy's only hope is going (even more) full-bore Scottish. I'm not convinced by these supposed national votes, other than Kenny. If anyone deliberately went for an Irish vote, I'd probably throw anyone but them a vote.

I'm losing interest in strictly this year already
No real stands out

I'm not normally a fan of Aliona but she does to interesting choreography and I'm even less enthused by Gregg Wallace so for once I'm 100% Aliona.


It's interesting that they nailed Judy's colours to the mast so to speak so early, I thougth they'd save that for a while. Team Ireland (as explicitly mentioned so its inevitable) still have a Riverdance themed week in their future, or if they're very unlucky a leprechaun/luck of the Irish gimmick. I know due to the referendum that Scottish identity has been more in the news and contentious lately but Jennifer is in a show that plays on and subverts Irish stereotypes. Did they think Judy would make no splash at all unless they went one of two obvious routes first (and non voting) dance?

Mark's nan is a prominent character, apparently features quite a lot in TOWIE (I've never watched it but seen headlines in the DM Sidebar of Shame)

Nanny Pat's advice

How much is a live Nan worth, in the audience?