|
||||||||
Everything wrong with Hollyoaks |
![]() |
|
|
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
|
|
#1 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 11
|
Everything wrong with Hollyoaks
Don't get me wrong, I do love Hollyoaks(don't ask me why, it's bonkers) but it certainly does have it's fair share of ludicrous moments, pointless reveals and plot holes. And then there are the characters and their crazy, questionable antics...
So here's the chance for us all to point out its sins... *DRUM ROLL* I'll start... 1) You are more likely to get arrested for a crime that you haven't committed than for one you are actually guilty of... (*Cough Freddie Roscoe) |
|
|
|
|
Please sign in or register to remove this advertisement.
|
|
|
#2 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,699
|
Live in the village for 6 months and ALL of these things will happen to you
Find out you have a secret Mother/Father that you did not know about Be hugged gay by Ste Get a life threatening illness but but fine in a week Get married and divorced within a month Be arrested for a crime you did not commit One of your siblings will die You will be kidnapped at least 3 times. You will fall in love 4 times You will be blackmailed 10 times You will find a bag full of money and use it to set up a business in the area that will later be blown up by one of the local gangsters. |
|
|
|
|
|
#3 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 6,701
|
You will harbor a dark secret
You will have cash whenever you want it You will be shot at least once a year You will get away with every crime under the sun, but be arrested for every crime under the sun you did not commit. You will steal a bus. |
|
|
|
|
|
#4 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On my sofa
Posts: 113
|
You will be able to dispose of all evidence, murder weapons and bodies in a pond that's never dredged!
![]() You will able to do the above in broad daylight outside a busy pub in a pond thats never dredged You will be able to float a house boat on a pond thats never dredged |
|
|
|
|
|
#5 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,564
|
You will have a personality change at least once per storyline.
At your wedding/funeral/general big event about 3 people you know will attend and numerous family members will be conspicuously absent with no explanation. If you are a young character in perfect health and so are your friends, you will all be dead within a year. |
|
|
|
|
|
#6 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 14,422
|
You'll find out you have a child you never knew about out. (Even if you're a virgin)
You'll end up getting kidnapped once or twice a month. (Get use to it) |
|
|
|
|
|
#7 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,637
|
You will be impossibly good looking and sleep with pretty much every other character.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#8 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: (Mutant)
Posts: 10,072
|
Your partner will cheat on you, I can't think of one stable couple on the show at the moment who haven't cheated on one another (Trevor and Grace?)
Your family members will probably die in the same week in completely different circumstances. You'll end up in hospital around three times a year, under different circumstances also. If someone close to you dies you'll forget about them in a week. A violent man will manage to get away with abusing his partner for a year with no police even mentioned. Your residence will be broken into and trashed. You'll fail your exams, no matter who you are. You'll be arrested at some point. You'll get involved with the gangsters. You'll sleep with Mercedes. Any illness you suffer will disappear in a small amount of time and be forgotten about. Your sister will probably actually be your mother. You'll get locked away by a family member and kept hostage. A wedding will be planned within a week. You won't have any hobbies. You'll get fired an hour after starting a job. Your family history will be rewritten. You'll turn up in the village with a 'shocking secret' which is then forgotten about and never actually brought up. You'll become completely thick to drag out a storyline even longer. Half of your family will have been sectioned. And after all that you'll die yourself. |
|
|
|
|
|
#9 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 250
|
Quote:
If someone close to you dies you'll forget about them in a week.
The lomax death was ridiculous. . Sam and danny was forgotten like the next episode
|
|
|
|
|
|
#10 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,108
|
I don't even look at hollyoaks with any respect, and it's become a trashy, time passing soap
|
|
|
|
|
|
#11 |
|
Inactive Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,183
|
There's nothing wrong with it apart from one thing - the producer!!
Usually I have defended him look back at all my posts as I think people on here are way too harsh, but now this is getting out of hand I agree with what people on here are saying. |
|
|
|
|
|
#12 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 503
|
Quote:
You will be able to dispose of all evidence, murder weapons and bodies in a pond that's never dredged!
![]() You will able to do the above in broad daylight outside a busy pub in a pond thats never dredged You will be able to float a house boat on a pond thats never dredged |
|
|
|
|
#13 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On my sofa
Posts: 113
|
Quote:
You will be able to live in a houseboat without local residents and local council asking for it to be removed
that dog in the pond, pond has enough in it to end all hollyoakers lol!
|
|
|
|
|
|
#14 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,564
|
If you decide to emigrate it will magically be possible to arrange everything; jobs, selling your house and buying a new one, schools, pet transport, shipping possessions, the works- in about half an hour.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#15 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,264
|
the frank sinatra song 'my way' comes to mind, the end is near, they are facing the final curtain. how long will channel 4 keep it going???
|
|
|
|
|
|
#16 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: AKA Vampy
Posts: 11,526
|
You will be able to become a teacher, and teach with no checks
All teachers have keys to the school You can take holiday in term time if you are a teacher You will sleep with as many partners of all relatives as possible You will have a who is the daddy scare weekly Looking shocked/bemused/stoned will be considered acting If you are gay you will sleep with your straight best friend If your best friend stops washing, randomly gets in fights and starts dating the local drug dealer, you will ignore this then rant at him when you find out why he's like that If your son beats people up. You will cover this up You will have a fav outfit you wear all the time Your children are often forgotten until the plot calls for it You will own the loft at one point If In hospital you will be fixed with in 10 mins Private threatening chats in public areas are never overheard |
|
|
|
|
|
#17 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 23,726
|
Quote:
the frank sinatra song 'my way' comes to mind, the end is near, they are facing the final curtain. how long will channel 4 keep it going???
I do think the rot has set in now.Its too late.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#18 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 985
|
The problem is nothing will be done about Kirkwood since HO won the BSA I bet the people at lime think he can do no wrong.
2-3 years time I reckon HO will have be axed. |
|
|
|
|
|
#19 |
|
Inactive Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Erskine, Renfrewshire.
Posts: 2,346
|
If you're a semi decent looking guy, you'll more than likely shag most of the women in the village sooner or later.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#20 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: AKA Vampy
Posts: 11,526
|
Quote:
If you're a semi decent looking guy, you'll more than likely shag most of the women in the village sooner or later.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#21 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In the southstand
Posts: 87,671
|
Your IQ will fluctuate, depending on the plot.
|
|
|
|
|
#22 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8,515
|
Quote:
Don't get me wrong, I do love Hollyoaks(don't ask me why, it's bonkers) but it certainly does have it's fair share of ludicrous moments, pointless reveals and plot holes. And then there are the characters and their crazy, questionable antics...
So here's the chance for us all to point out its sins... *DRUM ROLL* I'll start... 1) You are more likely to get arrested for a crime that you haven't committed than for one you are actually guilty of... (*Cough Freddie Roscoe) The second poster replied with a lot of good reasons & explanations as to what is wrong with Hollyoaks, at the moment tbh
|
|
|
|
|
|
#23 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 125,435
|
Your phone will be stolen at the same time the person you love is phoning to say that they are leaving and if you don't reply you're never see them again.
You will get spied on by a hidden camera. If you confide in anyone about something they will either forget about it in a day or tell everyone even when they promised not to. |
|
|
|
|
|
#24 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In the southstand
Posts: 87,671
|
You will disappear sometimes for weeks at a time. Even after a major life changing event. Then you'll just turn up again, and magically, your plot will re-start as if no time had passed.
If you are gay, you will end up with the only other gay person in the village, even if you had another girlfriend/boyfriend when you first came to town. |
|
|
|
|
#25 |
|
Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 125,435
|
You can keep starting up businesses, even if your previous ones fail, with money that keeps appearing if and when your storyline needs it.
If you are bullied and attempt to take your own life because of it, you will become best friends with them a few weeks afterwards. |
|
|
|
![]() |
|
|
All times are GMT. The time now is 12:25.





I do think the rot has set in now.Its too late.