Dee thinks she is a 'caring' person, but from what I have seen, she only cares/ S'Mothers those that will give her something in return.
If Dee was working in a care home
2 of 4
Originally Posted by MargMck:
“No I would not. In my post history somewhere there's a long debate with a very nice nurse member of DS about NHS care of the elderly. Basically my sharp as a knife mother broke her pelvis and while in hospital was "mistaken" by a nurse for another patient with dementia - and was shocked (and tortured) when the nurse got in a temper and manhandled her, roughly dragging her across the bed, thinking no one would find out.
Now I'm not saying Dee would do that, but some people just aren't suited for this sort of work and if they are prone to temper flare ups certainly shouldn't be employed where vulnerable people need care.
You need patience with the patients, and she definitely doesn't have that. You can't rage at them and then turn up with a cup of tea.”
“No I would not. In my post history somewhere there's a long debate with a very nice nurse member of DS about NHS care of the elderly. Basically my sharp as a knife mother broke her pelvis and while in hospital was "mistaken" by a nurse for another patient with dementia - and was shocked (and tortured) when the nurse got in a temper and manhandled her, roughly dragging her across the bed, thinking no one would find out.
Now I'm not saying Dee would do that, but some people just aren't suited for this sort of work and if they are prone to temper flare ups certainly shouldn't be employed where vulnerable people need care.
You need patience with the patients, and she definitely doesn't have that. You can't rage at them and then turn up with a cup of tea.”
I'm sorry that happened to your mother. It's horrifying and stressful when you're parents require hospitalization and you begin to question and worry about the care being given by the staff. I had a similar experience when a support worker was helping my Dad to the toilet and he asked why he kept wincing. PELVIC BREAK was written on the white board beside his bed in big red letters. I felt sick having to go home that night and leaving him there.
Originally Posted by MargMck:
“No I would not. In my post history somewhere there's a long debate with a very nice nurse member of DS about NHS care of the elderly. Basically my sharp as a knife mother broke her pelvis and while in hospital was "mistaken" by a nurse for another patient with dementia - and was shocked (and tortured) when the nurse got in a temper and manhandled her, roughly dragging her across the bed, thinking no one would find out.
Now I'm not saying Dee would do that, but some people just aren't suited for this sort of work and if they are prone to temper flare ups certainly shouldn't be employed where vulnerable people need care.
You need patience with the patients, and she definitely doesn't have that. You can't rage at them and then turn up with a cup of tea.”
“No I would not. In my post history somewhere there's a long debate with a very nice nurse member of DS about NHS care of the elderly. Basically my sharp as a knife mother broke her pelvis and while in hospital was "mistaken" by a nurse for another patient with dementia - and was shocked (and tortured) when the nurse got in a temper and manhandled her, roughly dragging her across the bed, thinking no one would find out.
Now I'm not saying Dee would do that, but some people just aren't suited for this sort of work and if they are prone to temper flare ups certainly shouldn't be employed where vulnerable people need care.
You need patience with the patients, and she definitely doesn't have that. You can't rage at them and then turn up with a cup of tea.”
Exactly, snap preconceived judgments , without any thought of the human being whatever their problem/illness/stage of life..
Originally Posted by hisdogspot:
“I'm not asking what you would 'expect' from a carer in who's charge you place an elderly relative
I am asking if you would want Dee to have responsibility for your elderly relative's care and well-being, based on what you have seen of her”
“I'm not asking what you would 'expect' from a carer in who's charge you place an elderly relative
I am asking if you would want Dee to have responsibility for your elderly relative's care and well-being, based on what you have seen of her”
Yes I would and the expectations are a valid point. Dee hasn't been informed that Gary is brain injured and to expect him to behave outside of the 'normal parameters' and be able to understand he can't help a lot of his actions. And she hasn't had any training to help her learn how to handle a difficult person. But in terms of her general behaviour to Gary and others in the house, yes I would employ her in a caring role,
Originally Posted by An Thropologist:
“Yes I would and the expectations are a valid point. Dee hasn't been informed that Gary is brain injured and to expect him to behave outside of the 'normal parameters' and be able to understand he can't help a lot of his actions. And she hasn't had any training to help her learn how to handle a difficult person. But in terms of her general behaviour to Gary and others in the house, yes I would employ her in a caring role,”
“Yes I would and the expectations are a valid point. Dee hasn't been informed that Gary is brain injured and to expect him to behave outside of the 'normal parameters' and be able to understand he can't help a lot of his actions. And she hasn't had any training to help her learn how to handle a difficult person. But in terms of her general behaviour to Gary and others in the house, yes I would employ her in a caring role,”
We fundamentally don't know that.
Originally Posted by x-Angel-Wings-x:
“This made me mad. I was hoping someone would have said something to her about that. You don't point/wave knifes at anyone (unless of course you have the intention to use it on them
) Maybe if it wasn't Gary she was pointing it at someone would have said something 
”
“This made me mad. I was hoping someone would have said something to her about that. You don't point/wave knifes at anyone (unless of course you have the intention to use it on them
) Maybe if it wasn't Gary she was pointing it at someone would have said something ”
My post was neutral ... Many people carry out these traits in their own homes towards family members who are not ill when tempers are flared...many many people.
I think Gary's 'Brain injury' is long gone...and he is just somebody who is who he is with no excuses....
Originally Posted by racol5:
“My post was neutral ... Many people carry out these traits in their own homes towards family members who are not ill when tempers are flared...many many people.”
“My post was neutral ... Many people carry out these traits in their own homes towards family members who are not ill when tempers are flared...many many people.
”
Sadly very true
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“We fundamentally don't know that.”
“We fundamentally don't know that.”
True, we don't who has and who hasn't been informed of his brain injury, drug addiction and the myriad of other conditions he has. However even if they have been told it doesn't mean any of the HM's have any understanding of what it's likes to live 24/7 with someone dealing with these conditions. I can't help but feel they were somewhat set up by BB and sometimes harshly judged by the audience.
Originally Posted by hisdogspot:
“I'm not asking what you would 'expect' from a carer in who's charge you place an elderly relative
I am asking if you would want Dee to have responsibility for your elderly relative's care and well-being, based on what you have seen of her”
“I'm not asking what you would 'expect' from a carer in who's charge you place an elderly relative
I am asking if you would want Dee to have responsibility for your elderly relative's care and well-being, based on what you have seen of her”
This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“You wouldn't then, because carers don't get on-the-job counselling so she wouldn't fulfill the requirements of your condition.
Based on what I've seen and based on my experience in recruitment, I would consider her unsuitable because she lacks one of the key skills/abilities and that's patience.
She herself has said so.
I'd love to do Myers-Briggs testing on her.”
“You wouldn't then, because carers don't get on-the-job counselling so she wouldn't fulfill the requirements of your condition.
Based on what I've seen and based on my experience in recruitment, I would consider her unsuitable because she lacks one of the key skills/abilities and that's patience.
She herself has said so.
I'd love to do Myers-Briggs testing on her.”
Yes I wouldn't mind seeing her Myers Briggs. But to be fair Bunions she isn't in there as Gary's carer and yes she has snapped at him and that seems to show lack of patience but I really don't think that is fair. I know carer's don't have counselling but I would hope they have some line management with whom they can discuss coping strategies (although given that we value carers so poorly in our society it wouldn't surprise me if that were not the case).
But at least carers have days off and can go home at night and get away from their more troublesome charges. That will give them a chance to restore their batteries when they are worn down.
The thing is you and I see Gary quite differently. I don't buy the poor beleaguered defenceless old man who is entitled to be cared for and enjoy special treatment from the other housemates. I accept that he has issues and some patience with him is needed but what I see is a man who is very difficult to live with who is grinding them down. As an example the way he asks a question and the minute they start to answer he starts speaking again and shushes them. Sometimes he interrupts them only to ask another question and then he pauses, quite a long pause, enough to suggest is awaiting their response and as soon as they start to answer he says I haven't finished speaking
You absolutely can't win with him. Is he acting - maybe? But he sure is infuriating. I have the longest fuse imaginable, I haven't lost my temper in a decade or more but I think locked in with Gary would push me to the end of my tether.
Originally Posted by julie_tredgold:
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
This 'hating on' thing must be catching.
Originally Posted by julie_tredgold:
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
The difference between Dee and the 'others' is that she 'plays' on the nurturing, caring, salt of the Earth character.
Originally Posted by julie_tredgold:
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
It is DEE who introduced the 'carer' question
"I am NOT your carer" she emphatically informed Gary, whilst leaning into his face waving a fag in his face
"I am a carer" she assured Audley, whilst explaining why she had felt the need to apologise to Gary
That is why I introduced the thread
Dee makes the question relevant because she advocates herself in that role
Originally Posted by julie_tredgold:
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
“This thread is ridiculous
would i want Adele James Lauren Lesley George Stephanie Claire or any other to look after an elderly person , BBis not a care home and this thread is a desperate feeble attempt to hate on Dee
Gary does not need a carer he is a capable man, you on the other hand need your meds”
Point taken. Bed time I think. 
Originally Posted by An Thropologist:
“Yes I wouldn't mind seeing her Myers Briggs. But to be fair Bunions she isn't in there as Gary's carer and yes she has snapped at him and that seems to show lack of patience but I really don't think that is fair. I know carer's don't have counselling but I would hope they have some line management with whom they can discuss coping strategies (although given that we value carers so poorly in our society it wouldn't surprise me if that were not the case).
But at least carers have days off and can go home at night and get away from their more troublesome charges. That will give them a chance to restore their batteries when they are worn down.
The thing is you and I see Gary quite differently. I don't buy the poor beleaguered defenceless old man who is entitled to be cared for and enjoy special treatment from the other housemates. I accept that he has issues and some patience with him is needed but what I see is a man who is very difficult to live with who is grinding them down. As an example the way he asks a question and the minute they start to answer he starts speaking again and shushes them. Sometimes he interrupts them only to ask another question and then he pauses, quite a long pause, enough to suggest is awaiting their response and as soon as they start to answer he says I haven't finished speaking
You absolutely can't win with him. Is he acting - maybe? But he sure is infuriating. I have the longest fuse imaginable, I haven't lost my temper in a decade or more but I think locked in with Gary would push me to the end of my tether.”
“Yes I wouldn't mind seeing her Myers Briggs. But to be fair Bunions she isn't in there as Gary's carer and yes she has snapped at him and that seems to show lack of patience but I really don't think that is fair. I know carer's don't have counselling but I would hope they have some line management with whom they can discuss coping strategies (although given that we value carers so poorly in our society it wouldn't surprise me if that were not the case).
But at least carers have days off and can go home at night and get away from their more troublesome charges. That will give them a chance to restore their batteries when they are worn down.
The thing is you and I see Gary quite differently. I don't buy the poor beleaguered defenceless old man who is entitled to be cared for and enjoy special treatment from the other housemates. I accept that he has issues and some patience with him is needed but what I see is a man who is very difficult to live with who is grinding them down. As an example the way he asks a question and the minute they start to answer he starts speaking again and shushes them. Sometimes he interrupts them only to ask another question and then he pauses, quite a long pause, enough to suggest is awaiting their response and as soon as they start to answer he says I haven't finished speaking
You absolutely can't win with him. Is he acting - maybe? But he sure is infuriating. I have the longest fuse imaginable, I haven't lost my temper in a decade or more but I think locked in with Gary would push me to the end of my tether.”
AT, I know we're in different camps where Gary is concerned but at least we can discuss it civilly and not tear lumps out of each other in the process.
However, Dee has more peer support in there than a carer would have in RL - trust me and, the best coping strategy to deal with Gary would be to walk away.
Have you noticed how unable they are to do that?
No, being on camera with a chance to make the HLs show is more important than their own peace of mind, so stay and get wound-up by Gary (whether deliberate or not) they must.
There are a hundred ways to skin a rabbit, and barking at Gary or standing over him and reprimanding him, or preaching to him as though he's a simpleton is demeaning and allows him no dignity.
How do you get someone to do what you'd like them to do?
What would you do to try and achieve what you want to achieve but leave the other person feeling okay about it?
Don't we all have to do stuff like that, all the time - every day?
Why aren't Lauren and Audley unravelling and going-off at him - even though they too find him difficult at times?
Sorry AT, but I think most of them in there are pretty nasty people whose selfishness knows no bounds.
I also think they're going to be rather ashamed of themselves when they watch it back.
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“We fundamentally don't know that.”
“We fundamentally don't know that.”
Anthro is winding you up.... they like playing devil intellectual advocate, it amuses them. Like some internet pop philosopher
You know that Dee has she stands now in or out the house would need a lot of training to qualify as a carer in a trusting position again.
If Anthro wants to employer her then be it on their head.
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“AT, I know we're in different camps where Gary is concerned but at least we can discuss it civilly and not tear lumps out of each other in the process.
However, Dee has more peer support in there than a carer would have in RL - trust me and, the best coping strategy to deal with Gary would be to walk away.
Have you noticed how unable they are to do that?
No, being on camera with a chance to make the HLs show is more important than their own peace of mind, so stay and get wound-up by Gary (whether deliberate or not) they must.
There are a hundred ways to skin a rabbit, and barking at Gary or standing over him and reprimanding him, or preaching to him as though he's a simpleton is demeaning and allows him no dignity.
How do you get someone to do what you'd like them to do?
What would you do to try and achieve what you want to achieve but leave the other person feeling okay about it?
Don't we all have to do stuff like that, all the time - every day?
Why aren't Lauren and Audley unravelling and going-off at him - even though they too find him difficult at times?
Sorry AT, but I think most of them in there are pretty nasty people whose selfishness knows no bounds.
I also think they're going to be rather ashamed of themselves when they watch it back.”
“AT, I know we're in different camps where Gary is concerned but at least we can discuss it civilly and not tear lumps out of each other in the process.
However, Dee has more peer support in there than a carer would have in RL - trust me and, the best coping strategy to deal with Gary would be to walk away.
Have you noticed how unable they are to do that?
No, being on camera with a chance to make the HLs show is more important than their own peace of mind, so stay and get wound-up by Gary (whether deliberate or not) they must.
There are a hundred ways to skin a rabbit, and barking at Gary or standing over him and reprimanding him, or preaching to him as though he's a simpleton is demeaning and allows him no dignity.
How do you get someone to do what you'd like them to do?
What would you do to try and achieve what you want to achieve but leave the other person feeling okay about it?
Don't we all have to do stuff like that, all the time - every day?
Why aren't Lauren and Audley unravelling and going-off at him - even though they too find him difficult at times?
Sorry AT, but I think most of them in there are pretty nasty people whose selfishness knows no bounds.
I also think they're going to be rather ashamed of themselves when they watch it back.”
summed up perfectly.
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“AT, I know we're in different camps where Gary is concerned but at least we can discuss it civilly and not tear lumps out of each other in the process.
However, Dee has more peer support in there than a carer would have in RL - trust me and, the best coping strategy to deal with Gary would be to walk away.
Have you noticed how unable they are to do that?
No, being on camera with a chance to make the HLs show is more important than their own peace of mind, so stay and get wound-up by Gary (whether deliberate or not) they must.
There are a hundred ways to skin a rabbit, and barking at Gary or standing over him and reprimanding him, or preaching to him as though he's a simpleton is demeaning and allows him no dignity.
How do you get someone to do what you'd like them to do?
What would you do to try and achieve what you want to achieve but leave the other person feeling okay about it?
Don't we all have to do stuff like that, all the time - every day?
Why aren't Lauren and Audley unravelling and going-off at him - even though they too find him difficult at times?
Sorry AT, but I think most of them in there are pretty nasty people whose selfishness knows no bounds.
I also think they're going to be rather ashamed of themselves when they watch it back.”
“AT, I know we're in different camps where Gary is concerned but at least we can discuss it civilly and not tear lumps out of each other in the process.
However, Dee has more peer support in there than a carer would have in RL - trust me and, the best coping strategy to deal with Gary would be to walk away.
Have you noticed how unable they are to do that?
No, being on camera with a chance to make the HLs show is more important than their own peace of mind, so stay and get wound-up by Gary (whether deliberate or not) they must.
There are a hundred ways to skin a rabbit, and barking at Gary or standing over him and reprimanding him, or preaching to him as though he's a simpleton is demeaning and allows him no dignity.
How do you get someone to do what you'd like them to do?
What would you do to try and achieve what you want to achieve but leave the other person feeling okay about it?
Don't we all have to do stuff like that, all the time - every day?
Why aren't Lauren and Audley unravelling and going-off at him - even though they too find him difficult at times?
Sorry AT, but I think most of them in there are pretty nasty people whose selfishness knows no bounds.
I also think they're going to be rather ashamed of themselves when they watch it back.”
Great post.
If Gary is as incapable as people insist he is, then he should never have been put in the house. Perhaps the housemates don't believe the producers would put someone with such an apparently inhibiting disability in the house and act accordingly? It is, in theory, supposed to be Celebrity Big Brother, not an audition to be Gary's live in carer.
Originally Posted by Scout66:
“With all sincerity I don't think how people have interacted with Gary is any indication of how they interact with all sick and elderly people in other aspects of their own lives. Real life isn't the CBB house and Gary isn't representative of all senior citizens.”
“With all sincerity I don't think how people have interacted with Gary is any indication of how they interact with all sick and elderly people in other aspects of their own lives. Real life isn't the CBB house and Gary isn't representative of all senior citizens.”
Agree with this.
I'm not a Dee fan but she's not Gary's carer and he is not her responsibility so it's unfair to compare to how well she would do as a care worker.
I was more surprised to see "Dee" and "working" in the same sentence though!
Originally Posted by chloeb:
“I'll just point out that as a nurse we don't spend 24/7 with our service users”
“I'll just point out that as a nurse we don't spend 24/7 with our service users”
That is worth remembering.
I don't think the best of nurses would be so lovely stuck with their patient for 24 hours a day. I certainly know from my own experience of helping to care for two "Garys" that tempers do get frayed at times and I do have a lot of sympathy for all the HMs living with him, as I do for Gary himself.
I would happily let Dee look after my eldery parents, I'm sure she'd be excellent, just not for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
I felt for Dee crying last night. I think she feels really guilty for being so snappy with Gary. Just watching how the HMs have lost it a bit with Gary has made me feel guilty too, as I can see how I have acted the same when my patience has reached its limits. No-one has the patience of a saint, and a person should be judged on how they are for 95% of the time, not the times when, being human, things just get too much.
Originally Posted by Scout66:
“With all sincerity I don't think how people have interacted with Gary is any indication of how they interact with all sick and elderly people in other aspects of their own lives. Real life isn't the CBB house and Gary isn't representative of all senior citizens.”
“With all sincerity I don't think how people have interacted with Gary is any indication of how they interact with all sick and elderly people in other aspects of their own lives. Real life isn't the CBB house and Gary isn't representative of all senior citizens.”
Quite right. Making unpleasant judgements about the HMs on the basis of how they behave on a RTV show is puerile.
Originally Posted by chloeb:
“I'll just point out that as a nurse we don't spend 24/7 with our service users”
“I'll just point out that as a nurse we don't spend 24/7 with our service users”
Very true.
Many seem to forget that they cannot walk away in the house and shut a door on it all. There is no real privacy.
The hms are in each other faces 24/7. I doubt many could manage not to lose patience at times.
2 of 4
