Post of the Day 2014

1 of 5

perdiedumpling

09-09-2014

Saw this post and thought it was a great way to start off this year's Post of the Day thread!

On James on CBB saying he was the biggest character on Strictly:

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“I've had a sneaky look at James's thesaurus (yes, really - he does have one).

Character noun: knob, idiot, gobsh*te, moron, dullard, twit (and the other one with a different vowel), ignoramus, cretin, imbecile, simpleton, jerk, d*ckhead, fool, dolt, dingbat, buffoon, oaf

I think he might be right.”

mimi dlc

16-09-2014

There has been some speculation that Aliona may want to take a "hands off" approach to dancing with Greggg

Originally Posted by Kmc1978:
“I'm wondering whether she's begging wardrobe to make all of her costumes out of that really cheap nylon so that he'll get a static shock every time he tries to touch her.”

Originally Posted by tortoiseperson:
“Or a full suit of armour.”

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“I can see a bit of a theme starting up here.

Week 1

Why are you dressed as a hedgehog Aliona? It's really difficult to get close with all those prickles.

Erm... well Gregg, you see we're doing a waltz to "Norwegian Wood" so our costumes are woodland creatures. I'm a cute little hedgehog and you're a woodlouse.

Oh. Okay.

Week 2

Why are you wearing the hedgehog costume again?

This isn't the hedgehog costume, silly. We're dancing to "Needles and Pins". I'm a pin cushion.

Oh fine. I get you.

Week 3

So what's the story this week Aliona?

Well, as our song is "Strawberry Fields Forever", wardrobe thought it'd be hilarious if we dressed up as fruit. So you're a lemon and I'm a... wait for it... prickly pear!
Erm... yes it does look a bit like the hedgehog costume Gregg. How observant of you...”

tortoiseperson

16-09-2014

LOL, mimi I came here to add tabithakitten's post, great minds an' all that

tortoiseperson

17-09-2014

Originally Posted by chachachavvy:
“This has to happen. I want 3G to deliver a bitter tirade and flounce off in the diaphanous mauve blouson he had to wear for the 'interpretive' routine Aliona convinced him to dance to Kate Bush's 'Wow'.”

From your mouth to God's ear!

perdiedumpling

17-09-2014

Originally Posted by tortoiseperson:
“From your mouth to God's ear!”

Hey, Greg may have an ego, but to call him God

Kmc1978

01-10-2014

Nominating on behalf of Lily M, although this post did make me laugh too.

Originally Posted by chachachavvy:
“I'm rapidly getting the impression that the story of the Clifton family childhood comes straight from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, with Joanne as Baby Jane and TTF as Blanche. Joanne probably descended into alcoholism last year when TTF eclipsed her fame and now she's back to reclaim her rightful place in the Clifton hierarchy. By the end of the series she'll being downing bottles of gin, nicking Colin Jackson's dolls from the prop room and waltzing around the floor to I've Written a Letter to Daddy.

Is it possible we could all start to feel sorry for TTF after this insight into his painful formative years?”

mimi dlc

07-10-2014

On the appeal of Alison

Originally Posted by chachachavvy:
“She's partnered with Aljaz which makes me shamelessly sell out all my principles. They could partner him with the reanimated corpse of Elizabeth Bathory wrapped in peach chiffon and I'd be saying 'Ok, Liz may have bathed in Tess's blood this week but she's not all bad. Did you see those kicks and flicks?'”

Scarlett Berry

07-10-2014

Fab..ulous dahalings...this is why I love the DS forum.

Monaogg

11-10-2014

Originally Posted by Monkseal:
“I notice she didn't unlearn the ronde de jambe (*flings leg around for the 15th time this routine*).”

And the response.

Originally Posted by An Thropologist:
“It seems to me that that figure/move should be accompanied by the words "All in the best possible taste" ”

mimi dlc

11-10-2014

On Mark Wright's dance...

Originally Posted by R82n8:
“Stuporman.”

cwickham

12-10-2014

From the "Scott's Samba" thread:

Originally Posted by Oicho Throw:
“It was a gigantic crab monster shuffling and spasming awkwardly through a neon-themed Hell and occasionally stopping to chase a demon-faced pixie as she screams children's songs and writhes in agony. Meanwhile Nicholas Nicholas Grimshaw gazes avidly from the sidelines, willing the crab to age and succumb to the advances of Radio 2. This grisly tableau is juxtaposed with the most innocent of all possible things - a kid's cartoon about a fish woman sacrificing herself to stalk an idiot.

It was a poignant commentary on life, death and the cruelty of reality and, quite frankly, it moved me to tears.”

Fuchsia Groan

13-10-2014

An exchange from Donny's Tupe thread.

Originally Posted by Vodka_Drinka:
“It looks like he's got a dead animal on his head.”

Originally Posted by fiffy35:
“Any particular animal???”

Originally Posted by missfrankiecat:
“One with acrylic fur. ”

Originally Posted by Walter Neff:
“He probably gives it a saucer of milk when he gets home. ”

Originally Posted by zoepaulpenny:
“a small beaver ”

Originally Posted by Hotgossip:
“Or the coypu has made a comeback ”

Originally Posted by -Sid-:
“It looked like a Brillo pad.”

mimi dlc

16-10-2014

As a younger sister, I can relate to this...

Originally Posted by Mrs Spratt:
“I know Joanne is a champion ball room dancer and has been in other things, but it still feels as if Mr and Mrs Clifton have said to Kevin "You have to take your sister with you when you go and play with the Strictly children".”

aggs

16-10-2014

From the Ikea Catalogue thread:

Originally Posted by flugella:
“The IKEA Head Office have been forced to ask customers to stop returning their newly purchased SODOFFDONNI turf. Our warehouses in the returns department simply cannot cope with the volume of disgruntled customers. Instead, we are issuing all those who purchased the item with a refund, discontinuing the item immediately and advising all who still possess a SODOFFDONNI to dispose of it any way they can (as long as no children or animals are harmed in the process).

Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“Customer response:
YEAH BABY!”
”

jtnorth

16-10-2014

Originally Posted by aggs:
“From the Ikea Catalogue thread:”

Brilliant!!

Alleycat666

20-10-2014

From the Strictly Ikea thread a very clever post given Saturday's events:

Originally Posted by fefster:
“A new problem has been reported with the BRNDN. It has been manufactured with wood from older trees. The wood is starting to bulge and the drawers are splitting.”

phoebefair

23-10-2014

Just had to bring chachachavvy's masterpiece over from the Slightly Morbid thread.

Musing on what might happen if someone died during the series.

The pros are such troupers they would probably carry right on if their celeb died mid-botafogo on the live show. Anton would lift, lift, lift while shouting words of encouragement like 'Go towards the light, love!' Kristina would swirl round the corpse like a bacchanalian orgiast hoping the rigor mortis was indistinguishable from her usual level of partner. Natalie would do some fierce, distracting skirt-swishing and head rolls and declare to the nation 'I've always dreamed of dancing with a corpse. I couldn't believe my luck when I got partnered with this corpse. When the corpse had heart failure in the middle of the routine it was my best experience on a dance-floor ever.' Ola would prop the corpse into a kneeling position and then physically send it in a sliding diagonal across the floor. Brendan would perform CPR in time to the beat while inwardly screaming 'Why God? Why? Why not Bloody Lulu?' We could only rely on Aliona to give the freshly deceased a dismissive kick and say 'Week 3 and you die on me? Week ****ing Three????????' She may even do a spit.

Bravo and a 10 for that performance chachachavvy.

mimi dlc

26-10-2014

About the Pro barn dance

Originally Posted by chachachavvy:
“Aljaz as a swarthy, straw-chewing, kinda-like Jack Palance in Shane cowboy = strange sexual fantasy no.29 checked off.

Meanwhile, Darren Bennett with his lasso has really let himself go.”

mimi dlc

27-10-2014

Apologies to Jacquiann, but this made me laugh...

Originally Posted by jacquiann:
“ They tell us to vote for our favourite & if I was voting; it would be Luke as he's naturally brilliant & as far as my research has gone he's not a ringer.”

Who??

phoebefair

27-10-2014

Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“Apologies to Jacquiann, but this made me laugh...

Who??”

Was he the guy with the lassoo by any chance?

mimi dlc

30-10-2014

Doghouse riley trying (and sadly failing) to explain why use of the word "hate" should be avoided

Originally Posted by Veri:
“BTW, what's with all the 'semantics' and nit-picking about the word "hate"?

Somehow the idea has caught on in these forums that "hate" has to be extreme; but it doesn't: if someone says they hate broccoli, it doesn't mean they want to lay waste to broccoli farms.”

Originally Posted by Doghouse Riley:
“No, I think it's more the fact that the broccoli is unlikely to have it's feelings hurt, if it were aware that it was "hated."”

Originally Posted by Veri:
“

I can't make sense of that as a reply to my post.

What are you even saying is more the fact?”

It made sense to me...

BuddyBontheNet

30-10-2014

This reminds me of all those violent fruit and veg cards!

You know, the carrots had a pea up against the wall - about my level of humour!

Doghouse Riley

30-10-2014

Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“Doghouse riley trying (and sadly failing) to explain why use of the word "hate" should be avoided

It made sense to me...”

Did you notice how I managed to keep a straight face whilst I gave my reply?

wazzyboy

30-10-2014

Originally Posted by Doghouse Riley:
“Did you notice how I managed to keep a straight face whilst I gave my reply?”

Quite possibly your downfall!

I do love a wry analogy though. Well sometimes anyway.

tortoiseperson

30-10-2014

Nancy vs Joanne:

Originally Posted by chitarivera:
“Or............if Nancy has kept her crystal encrusted coffin, she could lock Joanne in it, go to 'Arrods and forget all about Joanne being there.”

1 of 5