Post of the Day 2014

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mimi dlc

01-12-2014

Discussing Craig bringing his pet dog with him to ITT

Originally Posted by Muggsy:
“I'd agree with you but I fear another poster swooping in to call me a jellus hatah because I have a cat.”

Alleycat666

01-12-2014

Mimi dlc's take on the Waltzathon:

Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“This walzathon is going to be EPIC!

Kevin will be whizzing Frankie round so fast that she has to stop to be discreetly sick into a handbag belonging to one of Mark's Nans in the front row.

Mark will be trying to remain in shot and will be carreening around after the Steadicam guy (who we know moves at Warp Speed), while Karen vainly tries to pull him in front of the fixed camera.

Pixie will be chucking in random Rond de Jambes, and will whack Jake on the back of the head with her foot. Jake will morph into Max Branning and punch Trent who will burst into tears.

Caroline will finally have a wonderful dress complete with Arm Hankies which will become tangled around Pasha's head leaving him blind so they barge into Simon who falls over on top of Kristina. Divorce proceedings result.

I can't wait!”

perdiedumpling

01-12-2014

On Mark:

Originally Posted by Mrs Spratt:
“I've had a horrible thought.

What if the BBC are softening us up to Mark because they're going to use him in something?”

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“I have no problem with that as long as the "something" is a casserole.”

bargeeee

01-12-2014

On the poll for who was the better dancer on Saturday, Sunetra or Mark:

Originally Posted by JamieHT:
“I accidentally voted for Mark, sorry.”

Originally Posted by henrywilliams58:
“It's OK. So did the judges.”

MayD

01-12-2014

Originally Posted by bargeeee:
“On the poll for who was the better dancer on Saturday, Sunetra or Mark:”

Good shout. Missed that before.

mimi dlc

01-12-2014

Looking for the least appropriate music for Caroline's AT

Originally Posted by davegold:
“Needs to be far more obvious. Status Quo - Caroline - Could it work?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojEtTcqAh5A”

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“If it could, it's definitely not a contender.”

mimi dlc

05-12-2014

Discussing forum demographics

Originally Posted by jakewa2:
“Be interestng to see the Demographics of this Forum (apparently Strictly Come Dancing viewers are 63% female according to a National Newspaper).”

Originally Posted by Monkseal:
“Such an inaccurate survey, I am at most 12% female.”

"Lies, damned lies and statistics!"

Monsieur23

07-12-2014

A rather amusing (and no doubt accurate) assessment of Caroline's Argentine Tango by Henry over on the "Argentine Tango Talk" thread:

Originally Posted by henrywilliams58:
“Caroline Flack & Pasha Argentine Tango to 'La Campursita' - Strictly Come Dancing: 2014 - BBC One

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaaIV8gG670

OK

0:00 Start. They are apart. He leans back hands on his hips; she leans forward palms facing the ground (not sure what that means)

0:06 He walks in a curve behind her and sweeps his left hand over her face. WTF? She's not bad looking. Why is he behind her?

0:07 Still in the doguey position his right hand curls around her waist and his left hand lifts her left hand up to clean his ears. Must be some wax there. Why doesn't he clean it himself? She walks away but he pulls her back to the doguey position. Some faffin abaht (very artisticially mind you).

0:18 Bleeding 'ell. WTF. They have finally got ino a tango open embrace. I would have got into a close embrace mind you but he looks like he bats for the other side. Anyway this is going to be a good tango. Not normally a tango embrace this soon.

0:20 Sorry folks. False alarm. As you were. He gets out of open embrace and does a solo twirl. Whatever.

0:23 Back in an open embrace. He picks her up and she flashes her crotch to camera. Fine. Looks like a nice crotch.

0:25 He puts her down and slips his left had down to her bum. I must try that and see what happens. But why is his right hand and her left hand above their heads? Whatever!

0:26 A Salsa twirl. It's latin innit.

0:27 Hang on. They are in open embrace. An AT is about to happen. But both postures are all wrong. Hers is better than his though. She leans forward but he is leaning back. He leads with his left knee instead of his torso and she stretches back with her right.

0:28 But we have a tango on our hands.

0:33 Are they in close embrace? Call the censors.

0:34 Nah. Trick of perspective. They are in open embrace.

0:36 OK as you were. That's enough tango. They are out of embrace. Well we have had 9 seconds of tango. Not bad.

0:37 Ah good. He gets into doguey and lifts her left leg up to give us a nice crotch to camera. Should I try that - it is artistic. He lifts her up twirls her around just in case somebody in the audience hasn't seen her crotch.

0:41 Her bum is on his shoulder and there is an even better crotch view pointed at Len with her right leg stretched skywards and her left leg pulled downwards. High art it is. Wurtcher Len. Puts her down but back to doguey. He salsa twirls her. She walks away and they are in outstretched one hand hold and do a Sirtaki skip. Wasn't that for last week?

0:50 Wow a tango hold! Nah. He picks her up and chucks her across feet first.

0:52 Still outstretched arms hold. Not even practice hold. More twirrling. He likes the doguey position doesn't he? More of the same outstretched arm hold.

1:00 OK they are in a tango hold now albeit open embrace. But his left hand is behind his body. I got told off for that in my second class. But it is tango. We ave some Ochos and a tango walk.

1:10 WTF! He breaks hold and goes into a Rumba with his left hand behind her head. Well another 10 seconds of tango so 19 seconds of tango so far. Faffin abaht with a crotch flash to Len. Fair enough.

1:16 They break hold. More Rumba stuff.

1:26 Hey looks like a Close Embrace tango. But his left hand and her right hand are over their heads instead of her shoulder height. OK it is an open tango embrace with random kicks and he takes her to the floor. I'll call that tango. Another 14 seconds being generous.

1:40 The END

That was 33 seconds of Tango out of 100 seconds.

Much more than most SCD tangos. Give it 40 points.

Why didn't he hold her in close embrace throughout the dance? I would have done. She is quite nice. And what's all that doguey position for?”

mimi dlc

07-12-2014

Discussing Len's Annual Late Introduction of the Rules

Originally Posted by franglemand:
“Really though, Len's left it a bit late to penalise lifts. At least when he's done this speech mid-series before he's done it early enough on that it might actually make a difference.
What's going to happen if dances are repeated in the final that contain illegal lifts that were never penalised? Will the pros bother to re-choreograph or will Len actually mark them down? That'll be a real feelgood final.
"Last time I said you were amazing and gave you a 10 but you were out of hold for 50% of the dance and there was an illegal lift so this time you only deserve a 6. What are you all booing for? It's not my fault, I'm only following the rules! I don't want to have to mark them down but I've no choice if they break the rules. Waddaya mean I ignored the rules before? How dare you question me! I'm head judge, if I say those are the rules then those are the rules!"”

tortoiseperson

07-12-2014

Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“My critique of your critique”

Quote:
“Originally Posted by henrywilliams58
Caroline Flack & Pasha Argentine Tango to 'La Campursita' - Strictly Come Dancing: 2014 - BBC One

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaaIV8gG670

OK

0:00 Start. They are apart. He leans back hands on his hips; she leans forward palms facing the ground (not sure what that means)
He’s just putting his specs in his back pocket
0:06 He walks in a curve behind her and sweeps his left hand over her face. WTF? She's not bad looking. Why is he behind her?
He’s making sure her hair won’t get in his face
0:07 Still in the doguey position his right hand curls around her waist and his left hand lifts her left hand up to clean his ears. Must be some wax there. Why doesn't he clean it himself? She walks away but he pulls her back to the doguey position. Some faffin abaht (very artisticially mind you).
She tries to get away after him fiddling with her hair, but he’s having none of that.
0:18 Bleeding 'ell. WTF. They have finally got ino a tango open embrace. I would have got into a close embrace mind you but he looks like he bats for the other side. Anyway this is going to be a good tango. Not normally a tango embrace this soon.
Close embrace is only essential for singing into her ear
0:20 Sorry folks. False alarm. As you were. He gets out of open embrace and does a solo twirl. Whatever.
Trying to get hair clip out of other back pocket
0:23 Back in an open embrace. He picks her up and she flashes her crotch to camera. Fine. Looks like a nice crotch.
Crotch watch starts here
0:25 He puts her down and slips his left had down to her bum. I must try that and see what happens. But why is his right hand and her left hand above their heads? Whatever!
Unexpected knee in the bagging area likely
0:26 A Salsa twirl. It's latin innit.
This is to restore the earthly balance as most Salsas have no salsa moves in them
0:27 Hang on. They are in open embrace. An AT is about to happen. But both postures are all wrong. Hers is better than his though. She leans forward but he is leaning back. He leads with his left knee instead of his torso and she stretches back with her right.
Showing off his knee length socks
0:28 But we have a tango on our hands.
0:33 Are they in close embrace? Call the censors.
0:34 Nah. Trick of perspective. They are in open embrace.
Closed. Open. Closed. Open. In. Out. Is this the Hokey Cokey?
0:36 OK as you were. That's enough tango. They are out of embrace. Well we have had 9 seconds of tango. Not bad.

0:37 Ah good. He gets into doguey and lifts her left leg up to give us a nice crotch to camera. Should I try that - it is artistic. He lifts her up twirls her around just in case somebody in the audience hasn't seen her crotch.
Bored now
”

perdiedumpling

07-12-2014

On the technical expectations now:

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“The dances have been approaching random over the past few series to the point where we really have got to the following:

Waltz, foxtrot, VW - American smooth with these dances as a base. Bonus points for faffing abaht unless Len has PMS in which case you'll get an earful for no apparent reason.

Quickstep - May be the only ballroom dance that still pretty much resembles what it says on the tin. Don't worry about gapping at all. If you can get a bus between you and your partner, that's about right. Doesn't always have to be that quick either. A laboured effort can still gain you maximum scores.

Tango - Actually, this still looks vaguely like what it's supposed to a lot of the time. You're quite likely to get stuck with a daft theme and carp music for this one though.

American Smooth - Any old b*ll*cks done in ballroom dress. Make sure you never come near each other except for lifts. Sit down on the steps, write a letter to your (dead) nan, feel free to launch into a tap routine in the middle somewhere. Just make sure it has "OLD HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR!"

Cha cha, salsa, samba - general mash-up party Latin. Feel free to add some disco. You may want to include a couple of genuine moves from the dance you were supposed to be doing but this will not necessarily get you bonus points. Shake your hips and @rse, cahm aht and give it some and you'll be fine.

Rumba - Another one that hasn't changed so much over the years. Can be sensual or raunchy depending on what the judges are looking for this week. Unfortunately, you won't know which until after you've performed it.

Paso Doble - A lottery. You may get decent music and be able to do it justice. Or you may get shoved into a spacesuit and have to perform to "I Lost My Heart To a Starship Trooper". Luck of the draw.

Jive - Kicks, flicks, side by side, fast. That's all you need to know.

Charleston - Backwards, forwards, side by side, fast. Much gurning. The more the better. Swivel? We don't need no bleedin' swivel.

Argentine Tango - F*** knows. Least of all the judges.

Apologies if I've missed any. They all blur into one big mush now.”

ChickenFromKiev

07-12-2014

From the Caroline - can't stand her thread:

Originally Posted by dancingbearbear:
“Strictlyfan, I'm going to have a word with your mummy about allowing you to stay up to watch the show.

It's clearly on way past your bedtime and it's making you cranky.

Now say sorry for using your words unkindly otherwise your mummy will put you on time out AND you won't be allowed any sweeties after tea.”

Fuchsia Groan

07-12-2014

From the Ballroom & Latin American Dance Questions thread. Now I know precisely why the contest looks to be a pretty level playing field even to a complete dancing lame brain like me.

Originally Posted by JDarcy:
“So, out of the remaining contestants, who do you guys think is the technically strongest?”

Originally Posted by Jennifer_F:
“That is a good and tough question, as we all know, the best dancer often does not win. I can offer my thoughts on their Ballroom...
But I would discount Jake, I don;t rate him as a dancer at all. He is a good actor acting his part, Janette choreographs to his strengths but technically not good. He is popular of course !
Mark has improved a lot. Ballroom wise, not good technically, his Fox was not good. However, Karen has produced quite a good topline from him and of course, he is "Mr Cheese" so always smiling, a great asset.
Caroline I feel has lots of potential but for me, she is not as good at Ballroom as Frankie. She has a reasonable top, but I feel she sometimes makes her own lines and shapes, not dancing from Pasha. Her feet do need a little work. I did notice in the waltz a thon,she did not close her feet when supposed to. Basic but important mistake to make.
Frankie has a nice top and arm/hand placement. Her feet need work but she does look nicely grounded when she dances. Caroline is a little too high out of the floor.
Simon for me is the best all rounder. Sadly he doesn't seem to have the support from the public. His Ballroom has improved a great deal. There were several very readable Fox variations in his AS which he danced really very well. He has great movement and great posture. He has quite good feet for a beginner, however he needs to watch his actions when travelling backwards....the heels should not lower. However this is a problem that all the celebs share, I'm being picky.
Should be a great semi next week”

Alleycat666

08-12-2014

I'd like to nominate the whole of this surreal thread:

http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2031090

The further you venture the funnier it gets...

Any thread which manages to go from the Borrowers to Putin to Ebola gets my vote.

bargeeee

08-12-2014

Originally Posted by Alleycat666:
“I'd like to nominate the whole of this surreal thread:

http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2031090

The further you venture the funnier it gets...

Any thread which manages to go from the Borrowers to Putin to Ebola gets my vote.”

Thanks for this. I've been avoiding the conspiracy threads, but this one really is funny. I especially liked the 'anagram' of Kevin From Grimsby.

perdiedumpling

08-12-2014

A couple more conspiracy theories rounded up neatly:

Originally Posted by DeltaBlues:
“So up to now, a quick trawl round the forum shows that the blame for Pixie's departure rests with:

1. Darcey, for being a jellus hater
2. Len, for...ummm...picking the better dance in the dance off (the bastard! How dare he do his job??!)
3. The judges collectively, for...errr...placing Jake below Pixie on the leaderboard, the bastards
4. The producers, to reward Simon for signing up to the tour (which they don't run and which Craig, who voted for Pixie, directs and which has previously run without the winner *cough*Alesha*cough* but, you know, conspiracy!)
5. War Drobe for putting Pixie in pink
6. Kevin for being ill and making Trent step in to the pro routine (that Trent was already scheduled to dance in, that was recorded earlier) and compromising his training time with Pixie, the bastard
7. Lisa Ril- "What's that hun?" Nothing Lisa. Let's move on.
8. The FBI's unidentifiable sniper on the grassy knoll (I'll be honest, I may have turned over two pages at once in my Conspiracy For Dummies handbook by this point)

Poor Pixie never stood a chance.”

And a reply to that:

Originally Posted by glasshalffull:
“

Over on the politics forum they are blaming immigrants, Boris Johnson and quantative easing for Pixie going out.”

Alleycat666

08-12-2014

Another update from DeltaBlues on Conspiracy Theories:

Originally Posted by DeltaBlues:
“Okay, so the updates:

9. Aliens
10. Putin (the bastard)
11. The Borrowers (I think we're on to something here)
12. The judges deliberately creating ties. I'd see Craig as more of a cravat man myself, but whatever.
13. Widdy. Probably.
14. The BBC's online voting system being unavailable for a while. I blame the Borrowers.
15. Kevin again, the bastard (I'm not sure how, let's call it general Kevin-ness)
16. The boogie. Trust the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times to get off scot-free, the bastards
17. She didn't get enough public votes and Simon was marginally better in the DO. Don't worry, the maniac who came up with this outlandish theory has been taken outside and shot.”

Alleycat666

09-12-2014

A couple more delights from the Pixiegate: It was Kevin's Fault thread:

First from kaycee:

Originally Posted by kaycee:
“What a total load of nonsense - all these weird conspiracy theories.

Everyone knows the real truth - Wanting to phone home, Trent wandered into what he thought was a phone box only to find himself in the Tardis and being whisked away by Dr Who to Planet "Nowhere Near As Odd as Earth" and found himself practising with a Dalek instead of Pixie.”

Then this inspired response from IvanIV:

Originally Posted by IvanIV:
“Daleks have a very good leg action, pushing through the floor, very consistent. No wonder it was a problem when he got Pixie back.”

RoseAnne

10-12-2014

The Pixie outrage thread has been mentioned already but I particularly loved the Christmas shopping habits of the fans but the bit about Gregg Wallace's supporters cracked me up!

Originally Posted by KorkyTheCat:
“Apparently only Pixie's voters went Christmas shopping until after voting time that day...”

Originally Posted by Cally's mum:
“Yes, that is quite a coincidence .... Maybe all of Simon's were with them!”

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“Gregg (remember him? ) is very unlucky. Apparently his fans are known for being early shoppers. They went shopping in late September and are still out there. There's not a dessert to be found in the south east.”

Originally Posted by Muggsy:
“Whereas Jake's, Frankie's and Mark's are either better organised or will be panic buying on Christmas Eve.”

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“Some of Mark's are a bit renegade. They've been known for nipping out early. A few of Caroline's have had the same problem.”

Monaogg

10-12-2014

From the who gets paid what thread: -

Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“Craig gets paid in Louis Vuitton vouchers.
Darcey gets paid in Playgirl magazines.
Len gets paid in pickled walnuts.
Bruno gets paid in magic beans.
The celebs get publicity and a possible career jump-start.
The pros get peanuts.”

Originally Posted by CravenHaven:
“I hear the cameramen get paid in bananas.
The costume designers get paid in Quality Street wrappers.
The music chooser gets paid in LSD. It can be the only explanation.
Tess gets paid in valium, and Claudia gets paid in helium.”

Alleycat666

10-12-2014

From aggs with a very valid point on the Flounce Watch thread

Originally Posted by aggs:
“The Tess/Claudia flounce is one I can't understand. As someone who spent 10 years ignoring Bruce, to give up after less than 10 weeks shows a distinct lack of stamina ”

Mr Cellophane

10-12-2014

From one of the multiplicity of Pixie conspiracy threads (can't even find it now);

Quote:
“It was the Mods

Merged Pixie with Frankie, to save space.”

Monsieur23

11-12-2014

From the "Clips of Best/Worst Strictly Dances Over the Years" thread:

Originally Posted by chachachavvy:
“Since so many people have already linked to my favourites I shall gift the forum with Rachel Riley's malfunctioning sex robot paso. It says on the BBC website that one of Pasha's hobbies is building computers. Sadly this paso, and the hindsight knowledge that Rachel Riley's performance in it probably got him going, makes me think that the kind of computers he actually likes making are Real Doll style androids for kinky, adult fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GN3pTNzIAQ”

Mrs-Mop

12-12-2014

Originally Posted by Monsieur23:
“From the "Clips of Best/Worst Strictly Dances Over the Years" thread:”

God, I'd forgotten just how bad Rachel Riley was

Monsieur23

12-12-2014

Originally Posted by Mrs-Mop:
“God, I'd forgotten just how bad Rachel Riley was ”

Worst young, pretty, physically fit contestant ever; even Pendledrama had her Ballroom going for her.

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