Monkseal's take on Showdances (from the Unappreciation thread):
Originally Posted by Monkseal:
“Natasha - her and Brenda staring into one aother's eyes like a school disco. A nation finds it romantic rather than, say, vomitting themselves inside out.
Julian - An Officer & Gentleman themed rumba with him in full US Navy garb and effing hilarious.
Colin - PUPPETS
Zoe - Ian falls on his bum to America
Everything Else Before Series 5 - LIFTS LIFTS LIFTS LIFTS LIFTS LIFTS LIFTS DISCO LIFTS
Alesha - Hungover 80s grotfest to I NEED A HERO - Matthew almost drops her on her head at the end.
Matt D Brat - He wears Flavia's vagina as a hat for 90 seconds, occasionally twitches his dick in Arlene's direction
Tomzilla - Rampaging Gurnfest of Musical Theatre Stuff that he spent 6 years perfecting for that creepy arse Youtube showreel he filmed in his basement
Rachel - WHAT A FEELING with a bow on her arse, skidded onto her face with her bum in the air at the end, then giggled like a real girl for the first time
Snowdance - the woman, the legend
Chris - MASHED POTATO
Ricky Nipple - Natalie in a skintight cozzie to dispell all the tranny rumours, also LIFTS
Kara - crap Queen Wetherspoons 1am jukebox dance-along with dinky glitter-bucket
Matt Baker - hip hop with hay bales to "I Like The Way You Moo"
Hamela - A complete rip-off of Natasha's from Series 1, but with the sexual tension only running one way
Harry - drumming and showing his arms off and precious little dancing
Chelsee - disco lift botchbortion
Jason - MANIC MANIC MANIC MANIC STRIPPING OFF MANIC COLLAPSE DIES THE END
Louis - Pretentious shirtless crap on a giant beachball with backflips probably
Denise - LIFTS LIFTS LIFTS LIFTS FIREWORKS NO SITTING ON A CHAIR HERE THE END
Kimberley - Flamin' 'oop
Dani - Bohemian Rhapsody complete with lobster arms and crappy lifts
Abbey - Model strut, model strut, pout pout flamethrows
Natalie - Sylvia Young End Of Term Party, felt like it had been choreographed for Bonnie Langford and she'd pulled out last second, certainly not yet touching the divine
Susanna - Mawkish 70s Elton John supernova complete with Susanna swinging around Kevin's like a pair of giant knickers on a rotary washing-line in a gale
Sophie - Disco Latin, because we all remember that being her speciality.”