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A Poem About Freddie Roscoe


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Old 20-10-2014, 20:56
ChessStringClay
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Hi Everyone, basically half way through tonight's episode, I got so bored that I resorted to writing this... and well, it was just too good not to share.

Freddie Roscoe. Remember that name.
The Ladies love him. At least that's what Byran Kirkwood says.
The leanest, meanest, cleanest, bad man of all time...
Well... almost. To say that would be a crime.
Because clearly the baddest scary, lairy canary is Big Bob,
The Badass two-foot Leader of the Mob.
But then well... he was shot,
and well, we viewers clearly cared alot. (Or not).
Our Hero was only in it for two episodes,
But even worse than that is Freddie's dress code.
A gangster leather jacket, with gangster denim jeans,
Neither even worthy a free coffee from Esther's Magic Bean.
Long-Live Sir-Stare-a-lot, Long-Live Big Bob(by),
Long-Live guns, deaths and stunts, Long-Live Non-Robbie.
Now Freddie has been a naughty boy, it says so on his chest,
"Vagina" does that tattoo say? Or is my dirty-minded mind just a dirty mess?
And then there are those gold-fish eyes, that bulge just like a... camel's hump,
And is that Freddie's baby enclosed behind Lindsey's bump?
Who knows? Who cares? Who dares to ask?
We could ask Freddie but he'd probably just raise one eyebrow (and a half).
But after landing his brother in a coma, murdering Fraser,
and sleeping with his Sister-In-Law, if one things for sure, I'd love to zap him away with a lazor... (and hopefully, just hopefully, he'll never return).
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Old 20-10-2014, 20:57
Purple.
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Love it
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Old 20-10-2014, 20:58
Firegazer
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Did you just rhyme "name" with "says"
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Old 20-10-2014, 20:59
ChessStringClay
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Did you just rhyme "name" with "says"
Yep.
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Old 20-10-2014, 21:00
sorcha_healy27
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loool brilliant

he's rubbish and he's dopey,
he can't really do mopey
he's thickey and he's woeful
Freddie from the roscoe family

my attempt is not as sophisticated as yours mind you lol
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Old 20-10-2014, 21:01
Harlowe
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Bravo, on point and a accurate poem of Frederick, well done!
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Old 20-10-2014, 23:09
Emma_Henvey
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In honor of the amazing Freddie!

Freddie Roscoe... the name evokes!!
He's the greatest character to ever grace Hollyoaks.
He's smooth, he's sly, he's mysterious alright.
All the ladies cry because he's such a delight.
He's perfect, perfection in every way.
This is the phrase Kirkwood uses to describe his face.

He's involved in all the storylines and he breaks viewers hearts.
His love triangle with Lindsay was a sensation from the start.
The demerits he has, he makes up in smarts.
Him framing Sam for murder was a pure work of art.

No one saw it coming. Kirkwood was very bold.
It was the greatest storyline twist ever told.
We were all the edge of out seats. Wanting him to get off scot-free.
It's moments like this that the pig-headed police came in handyyy!

They may be morons 90% of the time, but them freeing Freddie was a sheer delight.
He's the best out of the Roscoe's, without a doubt!
He's superior in every way, especially with that half eyebrow.
His tattoo's rock! And he has eyes that pop

His eyes deserve their own paragraph.
They're that big and strong.
They even have their own emotion on the DS forums.

And now we must celebrate National Freddie Day!
So come on and clap, and join the parade.
Get the tissues ready so the tears won't cascade.
as I point below Freddie's amazing face ↓↓↓↓

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Old 20-10-2014, 23:37
Emma_Henvey
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Bravo, on point and a accurate poem of Frederick, well done!
I agree
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Old 20-10-2014, 23:47
attitude99
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In honor of the amazing Freddie!

Freddie Roscoe... the name evokes!!
He's the greatest character to ever grace Hollyoaks.
He's smooth, he's sly, he's mysterious alright.
All the ladies cry because he's such a delight.
He's perfect, perfection in every way.
This is the phrase Kirkwood uses to describe his face.

He's involved in all the storylines and he breaks viewers hearts.
His love triangle with Lindsay was a sensation from the start.
The demerits he has, he makes up in smarts.
Him framing Sam for murder was a pure work of art.

No one saw it coming. Kirkwood was very bold.
It was the greatest storyline twist ever told.
We were all the edge of out seats. Wanting him to get off scot-free.
It's moments like this that the pig-headed police came in handyyy!

They may be morons 90% of the time, but them freeing Freddie was a sheer delight.
He's the best out of the Roscoe's, without a doubt!
He's superior in every way, especially with that half eyebrow.
His tattoo's rock! And he has eyes that pop

His eyes deserve their own paragraph.
They're that big and strong.
They even have their own emotion on the DS forums.

And now we must celebrate National Freddie Day!
So come on and clap, and join the parade.
Get the tissues ready so the tears won't cascade.
as I point below Freddie's amazing face ↓↓↓↓

Brilliant! Don't encourage Kirkwood though, he's probably thinking we all love him now!
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Old 21-10-2014, 09:35
D.DotA
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I can't believe people are actually taking time out to write a poem per something they dislike so much! Get a grip because this is looking very weird and not in a good way!
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Old 21-10-2014, 09:56
xNATILLYx
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Both of those are brilliant

some people are just mood killers
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Old 21-10-2014, 16:39
Emma_Henvey
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I can't believe people are actually taking time out to write a poem per something they dislike so much! Get a grip because this is looking very weird and not in a good way!
People -including myself- just love taking the piss out of Freddie. It's all in good fun
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Old 21-10-2014, 16:39
Emma_Henvey
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Brilliant! Don't encourage Kirkwood though, he's probably thinking we all love him now!
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Old 21-10-2014, 17:34
Harlowe
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I can't believe people are actually taking time out to write a poem per something they dislike so much! Get a grip because this is looking very weird and not in a good way!
Lighten up, it's a bit of fun!
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Old 21-10-2014, 17:45
Emma_Henvey
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Lighten up, it's a bit of fun!
I agree
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