Masood: Didn't you realise the worry you were going to cause?
Bobby: I just wanted to be near Lucy.

And that was the end of the conversation. Really? That makes it ok? Why was Bobby treated like a hero when he got home? It should have been made abundantly clear to him NEVER to do that again and while his actions were understandable they were also appallingly SELFISH and STUPID. As if Ian and Jane hadn't been through enough, Bobby thought that wanting to be near Lucy somehow explained why it was ok to put them through hell again. Why wasn't this issue addressed? Sounds like he needs serious counseling with warped priorities like that.

I get your point but I think they were just relieved to have him home safe and well - especially after what happened with Lucy.

They will, of course, give him a rollocking about running away but their initial reaction was pure joy and relief.

It's all quite a silly storyline. Which is disappointing as DTC has always been on par with his ideas. Perhaps he was having a bad day in the office.

He's a young kid who has lost his sister, who his so called real mum doesn't want to talk to him about, he has been moved to Birmingham and made to start a new school away from his friends and rest of his family, he can be forgiven for getting into a bit of trouble. And if anyone is SELFISH and STUPID its Jane for doing it all in the first place, she didn't think about Bobby's feelings but more concerned about herself. Plus we know that Ian says he has seen him but what about Peter?, has he made any effort to keep in touch with him these last few months??

Did nobody tell him she's in the cemetery these days?

Well said.

I didn't see Bobby's actions as selfish and stupid. He's a messed up young kid, not a grown up. His actions were understandable given the loss he and his family have suffered. Kids don't tend to think about the effect their behaviour has on their family all the time. It's part of the maturing process.

I'm not sure Ian, Peter and Jane have given Bobby adequate support either. They're all too wrapped up in their own grief and issues that they've forgotten about Bobby.

I believe I said in my original post that his actions were understandable. That doesn't negate them being selfish and stupid. Nor does being a kid. Even as a child, I was aware my parents had feelings and emotions. I may have thrown a strop over having fish fingers for dinner but I wouldn't put them through that kind of pain. I don't understand how he thought his actions were more vital than knowingly puting Ian and Jane through hell.

You say he's messed up, and I agree, that's why I said he clearly needs counselling.

I don't think Masood's reaction indicated that Bobby's answer made it okay but it did explain it. He was acting out of grief rather than just being a brat so Mas felt sympathy for him and also, not really his place to lecture the child.

I imagine most parents immediate reaction would be relief that the child had been found unharmed and want to check that they really were okay before starting the recriminations and punishment. I'm sure they'd have got to that stage but then they found the folder and realised that Bobby's actions came from them (especially Jane as she has been the primary carer) mishandling his grief because they couldn't cope with it. That does change things somewhat. He doesn't need counselling, but he does need to be allowed to talk about his dead sister and Jane has prevented that by avoiding the subject and taking him from everybody (except Christian) that knew her and familiar surroundings.

So, their reaction wasn't as angry as you might expect because they were blaming themselves and we're so grateful they hadn't lost another child.

I would imagine that in time they will talk to him about what they went through, the time wasted by the Police etc so he knows that he must never do it again.

My bad, you did say that. Apologies. I skimmed through your original post.

Yes, but not all kids are the same to be fair. Some aren't as aware of these things like me and you and aren't as mature. I'm not saying Bobby is completely ignorant to the worry he's putting his parents through, but in his mind he probably thinks Ian and Jane wouldn't notice his absence as they're always preoccupied and never ask him how he feels about losing his sister. Bobby is grieving just like the rest of them.

Maybe if Ian and Jane gave Bobby better emotional support and talked to him about Lucy, he wouldn't feel the need to do that. It feels like he's acting out to be closer to Lucy because he's not been given the support. As I said, I personally don't find that selfish and stupid. You can forgive him for acting like this due to his age and immaturity, and his lack of experience in dealing with loss.

But the root cause of this action is so much more serious than throwing a strop over being made to eat food you don't like or not getting an extra hour on your X-Box. He is seriously grieving and has no idea how to deal with it because the adults in his life have let him down due to their inability to deal with their own grief.

I don't think he is going to have thought through the effect it would have on Jane and Ian, he is probably hurting to much to be selfless. He tried to deal with his pain by talking to Jane, she didn't respond. So he came up with an alternative - to go the last place he knew Lucy had been to see if it helped.

Nearly everybody has acted selfishly since Lucy's death, it is part of bereavement unfortunately, this is just another example of it. Sadly many kids gut instinct when they are unhappy is to run away (even if they don't actually go through with it) without fully understanding the consequences - both emotional for their parents and practical in terms of searches and danger to themselves.

Yes i'd agree with this. A lot of 11 year olds might not be mature enough to realise how much they'd be hurting their parents without the incredibly unusual and tragic events that have happened to Bobby recently. Having a sibling murdered is something most adults would struggle to deal with let alone a child who is being supported properly.

I generally agree that something being understandable doesn't excuse it but in this particular case i think the events are so extreme that once you understand his motivations you have to forgive him his actions to a certain extent.

This is a child who left a toy on the stairs for his mother to trip on and die. He NEVER considers the impact of his actions on his parents...

Haha so true.

Bobby isn't being treated like a hero? He's being treated like a kid who's parents are relieved that he is safe and well. He is grieving just as much as Ian, Peter, Jane and Cindy are. He doesn't understand what's happened to his sister because no one will talk to him about it, the little we saw of Bobby after Lucy died was him being sent to his room while the police are there or while Ian was upset. How is he supposed to make sense of anything? The only information he has about his sister's death is from those newspapers he's collected. It's not his job as a child to be selfless, he's too young to be responsible for other people's feelings. Yes, Ian and Jane have to make him understand that running away isn't the answer and set boundaries for him, but they can't just expect him to just deal with everything by himself.

I'd totally forgotten that, Lady V Yet another murderer running loose on Albert Square. Bobby is up there with Abi for his brutal ruthlessness.

You bloody genius. You've cracked it!!!!!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7Kg5NdwH8zE

Poor Lucy.

Haha so true. You'd think he'd have learned by now!