I'm pretty sure it's because I'm pregnant and therefore a hormonal mess but the vet just made me cry when he told me my two cats don't like each other

We've had Fudge for 3+ years and Polly for roughly 15 months but Fudge has recently developed crystals in his urine and the vet thinks it's stress related. He asked if Fudge gets on well with Polly and I said I think so - they don't fight. He asked if they groom each other to which I replied no and he said "Then they don't like each other. They tolerate each other at best". Now I feel like an awful person for bringing Polly into the fold and putting Fudge through unnecessary stress :'(

Is there any way to try to create a bond between two unrelated cats or will they dislike each other forever? I thought I was doing the right thing when I first introduced them - I bought Feliway and kept Polly in a separate room for a couple of weeks before slowly introducing them. I thought they were ok - they don't groom each other but they often sleep on the same bed together. Polly has tried to groom Fudge in the past but he has only let her do it twice and these days he tends to up and leave whenever she gets near him. I keep their food and litter trays separate too. Any advice?

If they are not fighting and do tolerate each other I would ignore the vet, many things cause crystals and you may make matters worse by trying to change their relationship for nothing if it not caused by stress.

So dry your eyes, and don't worry about it, I would look more at diet and let the cats decide how they relate to each other.

Thanks mollie - yes, the vet has given me new specialised food for Fudge now along with some painkillers for him so time will tell if this works. It was all a bit overwhelming - he referenced Fudge's potential death a few times! I'm more than aware of the severe problems crystals can cause so I just felt very chastised (but no doubt over sensitive to it!)

My vet told me the same when my little Lucy developed skin problems - she said it was probably due to stress living in a multi-cat household (I have 3 cats). Lucy appeared to me to be the least stressed cat I could imagine, she had lived with Millie since they were kittens (though they're not siblings) and she loves my Bernard to groom her - when he's in the mood to comply. I didn't really agree with the vet's opinion but felt guilty at possibly not recognising subtle signs. It turned out Lucy's skin issues were caused by a fungus, which took months and months to diagnose and treat. She's fine now - thank goodness for the insurance which paid out for the expensive tests and treatment.

Cats get easily stressed and it's virtually impossible to eliminate all stress from their lives, whether it be visitors in my home which upsets my Millie, fireworks, vet visits, strange cats in the garden. Even if cats living together only just tolerate each other, that's probably no worse than the stress of living in homes with little children, dogs, uninterested owners who lock them out at night etc. As long as each cat has its own space and can get away from each other when they want, they should be happy enough. My 3 were all on my bed when I woke up this morning but they're currently all occupying different rooms.

No one knows our cats as well as we do ourselves. Vets opinions are to be respected - but they don't see the actual cat dynamics in our homes and are just citing the text book views on cat behaviour.

Thanks Marella. I just hope he's not constantly stressed by Polly. I dread to think what he'll be like when a baby arrives!

If they sleep on the same bed as each other, they musn't be bothered by each other's presence, certainly not enough to be causing an illness. I'm no cat psychologist of course, but cats are usually pretty much to the point with things. If they were not comfortable, they would avoid each other completely, or even argue over prized territory such as the bed,

Do they greet each other when they haven't seen each other for a bit, such as touching noses, or raising their tails? Apparently the tail thing is the behaviour that determines whether a cat is "friend or foe". Tail up is a friendly greeting.

As other posters have said, you know your cats better than anyone, and you can see their behaviour every day. The vet just seems to be making a narrow assumption based on one single behaviour, and not looking at the whole picture.

From what the OP says, she seems to have two cats who have adapted pretty well in sharing their territory. My advice would be - change your vet because he sounds like a bit of a prat.

This did make me chuckle!

Unfortunately Fudge has shown no signs of improvement on his new diet. This morning I saw visible blood in the litter tray after he went so it's back to the vets today.

Sorry to hear that, hope they can find the problem.

We've had several cats over the years and I can't say any of them were great mates (despite in some cases being different sex siblings).

They seem to prefer their own (or human) company and find their own space within the home. My lap if I sit down for a minute.

I did have one cat who was particularly fond of the dog though (shared a bed / rubbed against the dog etc). Sadly she (the cat) died last year age 24.

Thanks everyone. To answer LifeIsGood, yes they do touch noses on occasion.

Had another cry at the vets yesterday but more from the shock of seeing blood in Fudge's carrier when I took him out the (different) vet was very nice and told me the main thing is that he has no blockages and, although there was blood, he was still able to pee ok. More metacam and antibiotics and the blood has now gone. He's on his special dietary food and the vet said this will take a little longer to break down the crystals but it will work in due course.

We have two cats (allegedly litter mates though we adopted them at 18 months old) and the male has been on special food for crystals for 6 years - we had him for 6 months before he started displaying the same symptoms as your boy is. We too were told it could be stress, though they never really pinpointed what it was. Just want you to know that the special food does seem to keep it under control - I was dubious at first but 6 years on we've had no further problems.

Thanks Fritz, that's good to know. Is it the Hills food? Do you get yours from the vets or online? I'm trying to figure out the cheapest source of this food!

Hi Floozie, he was originally on the Royal Canin one and then changed to the Virbac 'Urology Cat' which we only seem to be able to get from the vet - though at £18 for a 3kg bag it's cheaper than the Canin one (but it smells revolting!). We switched to the new one because the vets recommended it. I did get the Canin one online a few times from viovet but by the time I added the postage on it was pretty much the same as getting it from the vet. Is it wet or dry food your boy is on? A lot of people will say that a cat with crystals should only ever be given wet food. Our has always been on the dry prescription food as that's what the vet recommended and it's definitely cheaper than feeding him 2 sachets of wet a day. It does make him drink more (which is the whole point) but as I said before, he's been fine ever since.

it sounds like your 2 cats are fine...however you could try this, it worked for us to calm our 2 cats

rub one of your cats with a towel to get it's scent on it, then rub the towel on the other cat. They will then get used to each others scent. Do this for around a week, then do it the other way round

good luck

I think my cat has something like this. He has licked the fur so much it has gone thin and there are bare patches. I have taken him to the vets and they tell me it's most likely fleas. He has had drops on his neck (different makes) and flea collars and we can't see any fleas on him. When we first got him fleas were visible jumping on hm, yet his fur was in good condition. So I don't think it's fleas. I can't afford to have extensive tests. Can I ask what the name of the fungus was and the treatment you had for Lucy?

Some dogs and cats become allergic to flea bites, they don't have to have fleas on them just a stray bite and it sets off the itch lick bite syndrome.

Well £18 for 3kg is cheaper than the £17 for 1.5kg I paid! I may ask the vets about switching brands. The vet told me to buy the dry and the wet (about a tenner for a box of 12 pouches). He's always been on a mixture of wet and dry - 1 pouch a day and dry to graze on. I think it's his water intake that lets him down but we just bought a pet fountain that he's taken a liking too so here's hoping.

Yes, I was told possibly fleas too when I brought Lucy back (after stress, on her previous visit, was given as the most likely factor) because she was losing patches of fur and was developing quite angry looking skin lesions. I have never seen a flea on Lucy and she is on monthly advocate (which, admittedly, I was behind schedule with) - the vet said a flea may have jumped on her and Lucy had developed a reaction to the bite before it jumped off. I then felt bad that I was behind with the flea treatments - I suppose part of the vet's educational role is to make owners feel bad when we're not doing what we should for our pets.

Weeks later, Lucy was no better - her lesions were worse. Back again to the vet who this time agreed it was nothing to do with stress or fleas. She said it was possibly an allergy to something so booked her in for a skin biopsy under sedation. She took blood for FIV (negative) and a sample of fur was put under the microscope which came back negative for ringworm. The biopsy cost almost £300 but it could help eliminate/identify potential allergens.

The results came through a few weeks later and Lucy did, in fact, have a form of ringworm (there are several types) which is a fungus, not a worm. I was told this was highly infectious to animal and humans alike and my other cats needed testing too - even though Lucy's skin issues had been identified more than 4 months earlier and my other cats were fine, with Lucy sleeping and cuddling next to Bernard nearly every night. Anyway, the other cats' fur samples were negative and Lucy was commenced on a regimen for treating ringworm - 2 weeks of daily ''intrafungal'' medication, 2 weeks off, until she had 2 consecutive clear tests. This took about 3 months of treatment. The bottles of intrafungal are tiny but cost almost £100 each. The topical treatment involved daily bathing which I was not happy to perform and the topical treatment is only supplementary, not curative so not compulsory.

The total bill for all the vet visits, hair sampling, blood testing, skin biopsy and subsequent medicating and follow ups came to around £800+ but, as I said, Petplan covered the cost minus the excess. I actually had to pay 2 excesses because the treatment ran into another year and the excess is per year, even for the same condition. Not all pet insurance covers skin conditions so I was again thankful for Petplan.

The skin biopsy showed that Lucy is a very allergic cat so is always likely to develop skin problems. I was told she had feline acne also (she has blackhead marks around her mouth). Currently, apart from her acne, she's fine and her fur has grown back in most areas except for her tummy which remains more pink skin than white fur.

Ringworm is very infectious but I was lucky that it was not transmitted to any human or my other cats. The vet thinks Lucy probably caught it from a hunting expedition while she was foraging for mice.

She remains a very laid back sort of a cat. I do have a cat who commonly demonstrates very stress-like behaviour, hides away when visitors come, freaks at the noise of fireworks etc but even she seems to love the other cats in the home, she likes to boss them around! I agree that too many cats living in close quarters is not conducive to cat harmony but if cats can lay claim to their own personal space, can easily escape each other when needed and each receive lots of individual human attention then a multi-cat household (of 2-4 cats anyway) can and does work for many.

Thanks for the lengthy reply. The vet said the same to me - a flea could have jumped on, bit and jumped off. It seems an excessive reaction especially as when we first had him he was riddled with fleas but didn't have a fur problem.

He has black marks around the mouth and a bare tummy. He is prone to excessive grooming. We had to have a cat put to sleep in the summer and I've read that can be stressful for other cats in the household.

Whatever he has doesn't seem to be infectious as he has it on and off for a number of years and none of the others cats has the same. It has eased off a bit now, the patches are growing back, but his fur is still thin.

I do think he is prone to allergies and it could be something in the environment that he is allergic to.

Sorry to take over your thread with my problems!

If your cats touch noses it means they like each other and you don't have a problem with their relationship. None of my current cats touch noses but I've had cats in the past that did.

If the vet says they only like each other if they groom each other then he's talking nonsense.

The more an animal or human is bitten the more likely they will eventually develop an allergy. So it makes more sense if he had fleas badly at one time he may become sensitive later.

Thanks for your replies, your point has been noted.
Unfortunately his problem did not improve when treated for fleas and seems better now we haven't treated him for a while

Don't know whether my experiences are any help but our vet said exactly the same to me. I have two cats who are brother and sister and have had them since kittens. So this is a bit different from your own experiences as ours were related.They are now 3 1/2 and for the most part seem to get on with each other.

The male cat Henry can be a little dominant over Pebbles his sister but it never seemed to be much of an issue.

A year or so back Pebbles had very bad cystitis and was weeing blood. We took her to the vets and they ran a lot of tests and said the cystitis was caused by stress. She had always been a nervous cat and the was the runt of the litter, one of the reasons I chose her as she looked so sorrowful. We were told to try a number of different things including extra litter trays and putting her on wet food only, also had tablets for a bit, this did work but it comes back from time to time. We manage it as best as we can.

A few months ago we noticed she had started going bald on her hind legs, again a trip to the vet, who told us it was over grooming due to stress and that Henry was a bit of a thug and a bully. He was joking but it worried me that they might hate each other.

We tried Feliway plug Ins which do a little but not a lot but they are useful. What we found worked was getting a very big (enormous really) cat tree which has loads of hiding places and plenty of hammocks and beds. Pebbles now likes to sit high up on that and we've noticed since she has had more high places she's stopped the over grooming. She also canvas tubes that she has as her own territory.

It's a difficult one to get the balance right but don't let what the vet said upset you as I've had exactly the same thing and its worth trying lots of different things to try and settle them. Doesn't help that my other cat Henry is also epileptic and has fits and this then sets Pebbles off with her stress. I think you will work out a way for them to be more comfortable together and I do wish you all the best with it as I know what a worry they can be.