We took the Beast with us to my parents, and when we got in and opened his box he made a beeline for the oven where he could smell tasty smells.
The parents have a high level oven so he did a thing of stretching up to it purring madly.
After that there was no way he wasn't going to get his rightful share
Dad carves the Turkey away from the table and places it so people can help themselves to what they want. Throughout this process the Beast was the worlds worst 'house guest' mewing and padding around.
So there was a platter laid with turkey for us and a little bowl for him. Mum is funny about the Beast; she treats him like a child (they had a couple of cats, which were older when they moved to their present house, but sadly, won't have any more because the road outside, although a distance from the house, is straight and there are lunatics who think it is a motorway

)
So she was chastising dad who was giving him scraps, which the Beast would have loved and snarfed whatever.
"Don't give him the crap" she moaned at him

"you don't want that do you?" (to Beast)
He's just mewing and hopping about like a child that needs the loo.
We all sit to the table and mum takes his bowl to the hallway. and he piles in slobbering. Then sits on dads chair sleeping.
Come evening time, we have supper; cold cuts, pickles, salads, cheeses, you get the idea. He emerges again, I decide he can have a sachet from the box we brought, but was overridden by mum (do not cross her, in her own home) so he started sorting out more turkey and some ham.
I told her he likes Stilton cheese, she didn't believe, but I put a crumb on the floor and it vanished, so then that a bit of that was added to the bowl. Emptied in moments
Back to his new favourite place in the world (dads chair) to sleep it off. Mum then insisted on leaving little bit down when we all went to bed "in case he is hungry in the night, because he can't go outside (!???!)
Boxing day, my brother and my nephews came, I was a bit concerned because the Beast isn't normally around noisy people. Mum puts puts out some pepperoni pizzas for the boys, as they are young , so they have something they will definitely eat.
The Beast is keeping a distance, not sure about the boys, and moves away when they come near.
The youngest whose 6, and a real sweetie want's to be friends. So I tell him that the beast likes pepperoni, and if he is quite and offers him some he might be friends to.
The little lad takes a bit and gently calls him and the beast, who thinks with his stomach, comes out and takes it from him.
This had the unfortunate side effect of.
a) Jed wanting all the pepperoni of all the pizzas to feed him, and
b) Max the older one also wanting to get in the act, causing a brother row.
This was calmed by, me telling them that they can give him a few bits each, in turn, but then leave him for a while to sleep because he is only little like they were.
Come supper time, Jed wanted mum to cook more pizza for the Beast (Max had lost interest in him). So I told him that pizza is just a treat, like sweets, and he has to have a proper dinner, but that he can give him a sachet.
Come stupid o'clock in the morning, and the boys are up, and The OH and me are woken up by Jed talking through the door that he wants to feed the Beast.
Bleary eyed, I call back, "when granny gets up she'll make pizza" hoping to get rid of him.
"No, he can't have pizza, that's not proper cat food"
Damn, hoisted by my own petard
So the beast, thinking it's Christmas (see what I did there) gets an early breakfast and I get an early morning with coffee and the DM puzzle pages.
So, after another of my epic waffles, what have we learned;
That the Beast had a turkey crimble dinner, got spoiled with non cat based, but nevertheless tasty treats, but still ate a sensible diet, and that a small boy learned that animals need to be treated and fed properly.
Quality crimble all round