Right. Watched it now. Here's my tuppence worth...
Chloe - oh dear. I'm mad me...
Kieran - talked too fast in his vt, no idea what he's saying...twitch, fidget, fidget..
Simon - okaaaaaay. Mr 'showbiz' A legend in his own lifetime more like.
Jade - obligatory Irish totty. Polyamorous, attention seeking more like.
Joel - he has a cat and lives with his mum and dad. Likes politics. Oh dear. Nice voice though.
Cristian - Pretty boy although he reminds me of George Michael at the moment. Smart too if doing bio med at ucl. Wtf is he doing in BB?
Harriet - more like the old style BB contestant, how'd she get past the selection committee. Pretty face.
Jack - looks about ten years old. Needs to find clothes that fit him.
Twins Amy and Sally - ugh. Why? 27? Look a lot older, lose the slap ladies...
Adjoa - obsessed with 'bewbs'. Annoying voice. Amazing bod, pretty. Trying too hard in vt.
Nicolas - self confessed ****. Posh. Love him

( disclaimer, as a housemate only. I'll probably hate him tomorrow...)
Danny - VT makes him sounds a right sleaze bag. Sounded a bit posher in interview than he did in his vt. Eye candy for the ladies I guess, not for me though.
Sarah - problem with authority. Loves herself going by her VT. deer in the headlights going into the house.
Are this lot straight out out of central casting. Sheesh...and so many unnaturally white, straight teeth?? Can't wait to see this lot without all their hair products and slap on...
Aaron - shallow as a puddle. Has a fear of pizza. And shitting himself apparently.
Eileen - botoxed so much there's no expression. Scary. My eyebrows are trying to move on her behalf...and that top lip. Ouch. Mad as a box of frogs. Judi James is in the house!
As for that twist. Hah. Suspiciously convenient. Glad 'showbiz' has gone though. He set a new record for me in terms of unwatchability in a housemate.