Today i finally met my new advisor for the first time, and the whole experience was just hideous.
First i was sat down the 'main room' which was very warm with people all around me tapping on computers. I was waiting for about 10 minutes, at this point starting to feel dizzy and as if i was going to pass out.
Then my advisor approaches me and hands me a multiple choice thing, which i feel like i have filled out a hundred times, but i do it again anyway.
He then starts rambling on about courses and starts booking me into all these different courses 'interview skills, confidence building' and so on. At this point i am feeling extremely nauseous and cannot absorb anything he is saying.
He then takes me off to his work point, which again is not a private room and there are people everywhere. He starts tapping away on his computer saying am i ok with what he is doing, so i said 'no!', he then asks may i ask what is stopping you?
My heart sinks as i know i have to go through explaining my whole anxiety panic attack issue AGAIN, for the zillionth time, a lifetime of explaining myself to random people.
I start getting very short on breath, and ask if we can go elsewhere!
We go to a private room, i explain everything, (nausea, vomiting, panic attacks, depression). He seemed understanding, and apologised saying he 'didnt know'.
He then booked me in for another appointment in 2 weeks time, and requested i go to the library next week where there is a talk on 'self employment', this actually interests me and could be beneficial, so i hope i am well enough to go.
Now he was nice enough, but i still feel very much like i am going to be pressured into things everytime i go. Its actually making me worse. And i really really really want to be better!!! As this is no life for anybody.
As i have mentioned before on this forum, i have a therapist, i am on medication, i am seeking loans and funding for courses which will give me my own specialist qualification. The work programme is not going to help me in any way shape or form, and it has not helped me thus far, i just feel like another number to them. They have absolutely no understanding of any sort of condition, or why people are on ESA in the first place.
I am at a loss to understand why the government think this is a good idea, and whether its actually just wasting more money.
I have set myself a deadline to be in self employment by summer and get off this sodding work programme. But with this added pressure which i do not need, i feel i am up against it.
Going in every 2 weeks seems excessive aswell (considering the job centre said it would be once every 4-6 weeks) and being bullied into go on different courses - which might i add would likely be no help at all.
Has anyone had any similar experience and how did you get through it?
First i was sat down the 'main room' which was very warm with people all around me tapping on computers. I was waiting for about 10 minutes, at this point starting to feel dizzy and as if i was going to pass out.
Then my advisor approaches me and hands me a multiple choice thing, which i feel like i have filled out a hundred times, but i do it again anyway.
He then starts rambling on about courses and starts booking me into all these different courses 'interview skills, confidence building' and so on. At this point i am feeling extremely nauseous and cannot absorb anything he is saying.
He then takes me off to his work point, which again is not a private room and there are people everywhere. He starts tapping away on his computer saying am i ok with what he is doing, so i said 'no!', he then asks may i ask what is stopping you?
My heart sinks as i know i have to go through explaining my whole anxiety panic attack issue AGAIN, for the zillionth time, a lifetime of explaining myself to random people.
I start getting very short on breath, and ask if we can go elsewhere!
We go to a private room, i explain everything, (nausea, vomiting, panic attacks, depression). He seemed understanding, and apologised saying he 'didnt know'.
He then booked me in for another appointment in 2 weeks time, and requested i go to the library next week where there is a talk on 'self employment', this actually interests me and could be beneficial, so i hope i am well enough to go.
Now he was nice enough, but i still feel very much like i am going to be pressured into things everytime i go. Its actually making me worse. And i really really really want to be better!!! As this is no life for anybody.
As i have mentioned before on this forum, i have a therapist, i am on medication, i am seeking loans and funding for courses which will give me my own specialist qualification. The work programme is not going to help me in any way shape or form, and it has not helped me thus far, i just feel like another number to them. They have absolutely no understanding of any sort of condition, or why people are on ESA in the first place.
I am at a loss to understand why the government think this is a good idea, and whether its actually just wasting more money.
I have set myself a deadline to be in self employment by summer and get off this sodding work programme. But with this added pressure which i do not need, i feel i am up against it.
Going in every 2 weeks seems excessive aswell (considering the job centre said it would be once every 4-6 weeks) and being bullied into go on different courses - which might i add would likely be no help at all.
Has anyone had any similar experience and how did you get through it?
