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Excuses for Homophobia, Racism, Violence etc


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Old 18-01-2015, 21:06
getmadnow17
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I'm not even... There's no point in even trying with some people dramatising everything to be homophobic. I am not a homophobe by any means, but my message to anyone is to just be happy in your own skin and stop whining about what you have and what you haven't. I don't think straight people have any privileges, if not being beaten to death because your straight is a privilege - then that's crazy IMO.
Following is a list of examples of heterosexual privilege. If you are straight, these are unearned benefits you receive as a result of the sexuality you were born with.

If you are straight (or in some cases, perceived to be), you can live without ever having to think twice, face, confront, engage, or cope with anything listed below. These privileges are granted to you, and many of them are things you’ve likely taken for granted. (Otherwise known as the “Why it’s easier to be straight” list.)

Think you can add something to the list? Leave any more examples you know of in the comments below!

Immediate access to your loved one in case of accident or emergency.

Public recognition and support for an intimate relationship (e.g., congratulations for an engagement).

Expressing affection in most social situations and not expecting hostile or violent reactions from others.

Living with your partner and doing so openly.

Expressing pain when a relationship ends from death or separation and receiving support from others.

Receiving social acceptance by neighbors, colleagues, and good friends.

Learning about romance and relationships from fiction movies and television.

Having role models of your gender and sexual orientation.

Having positive and accurate media images of people with whom you can identify.

Expecting to be around others of your sexuality most of the time. Not worrying about being the only one of your sexuality in a class, on a job, or in a social situation.


Talking openly about your relationship, vacations, and family planning you and your lover/partner are doing.

Easily finding a neighborhood in which residents will accept how you have constituted your household.

Raise, adopt, and teach children without people believing that you will molest them or force them into your sexuality.

Working in traditionally male or female dominated job and not feeling as though you are a representative of your sexuality.

Paid leave from employment when grieving the death of your spouse.

Not being asked “how does sex work for you?” or other too-personal questions by strangers.

Sharing health, auto and homeowners’ insurance policies at reduced rates.

Not having to hide or lie about women/men only social activities.

Acting, dressing, or talking as you choose without it being a reflection on people of your sexuality.


The ability to teach about lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals without being seen as having a bias because of your sexuality or forcing a “homosexual agenda” on students.
Property laws, filing joint tax returns, inheriting from your spouse automatically under probate laws.

Joint child custody.

Going wherever you wish and know that you will not be harassed, beaten, or killed because of your sexuality.

Not worrying about being mistreated by the police or victimized by the criminal justice system because of your sexuality.

Legal marriage to the person you love.

Knowing that your basic civil rights will not be denied or outlawed because some people disapprove of your sexuality.

Expect that your children will be given texts in school that support your kind of family unit and they will not be taught that your sexuality is a “perversion.”

Freedom of sexual expression without fear of being prosecuted for breaking the law.

Belonging to the religious denomination of your choice and know that your sexuality will not be denounced by its religious leaders.

Knowing that you will not be fired from a job or denied a promotion based on your sexuality.


Not being asked by your child’s school to only send one parent to “back to school” night as to not upset the other parents by having two same-sex partners in the class together.

The ability to play a professional sport and not worry that your athletic ability will be overshadowed by your sexuality and the fact that you share a locker room with the same gender.

Not having to worry about being evicted if your landlord finds out about your sexuality.

Not having to “come out” (explain to people that you’re straight, as you can just assume they will assume it)

Knowing that people aren’t going to mutter about your sexuality if you come out to them.

Knowing that being open with your sexuality isn’t going to change how people view you.

Straight people can live anywhere in the world and find people like themselves, but gay people are limited geographically. Even if the people in more rural areas aren’t homophobic, living in a low-density population means social isolation, lack of a dating pool, etc. for queer folks. Even among urban areas, there’s only a few cities in the world, relatively speaking, where gay people can live openly and without too much fear.

Being able to have your partner from a different country be able to obtain citizenship in your country through marriage.

Not having people think your sexuality is a mental health issue

Not having to think about if your kid’s friends parents will flip out when they pick their kid up from a play date and are greeted by same-sex parents

Not having to worry that people won’t let their children play with your children because of your sexuality.

Not having to worry where you can move alone or with your spouse and have equal job opportunities abroad.

Being able to move abroad with your children without sudden changes of your legal status, possibly even having the chance of losing your children this way.

http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/...ual-privilege/
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:07
Fanntastik
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I am 52 and have lived through real racism, it is not so bad anymore, from your comments you haven't lived, that is how I can tell you are young
Your age means nothing in this discussion. I have lived through "real" homophobia as well and still live it to this day. You don't know where I live or how I live so I suggest you keep your personal comments to yourself. Stop trying to invalidate what other people are going through.
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:09
Scout66
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As i said before i (like many other black people) don't consider Uncle Tom to be a racial slur, it's more an insult. Stop being so sensationalist and dramatic. Where did i say that people who say that word should be shunned and banished from society? I'll wait whilst you find that quote!!!

I just feel that people who use historically charged slurs such as the N or F word, it's not down to context or misplaced rage, it obviously stems from them having issues with that group whether they want to deny it or not.

If i'm honest, what really grinds my gear is privileged people who have no valid experiences of being on the end receiving end of racism or homophobia dictating what's offensive and what's not and how we should react to it.
Oh so you get to decide who's a bigot and who the defenders of bigots are. On the other hand you are totally fine with Uncle Tom because in your view that slur supports your agenda despite the fact it doesn't even accurately reflect Harriet Tubman's character and is used to demean people who don't fit a very narrow stereotype. Interesting.
For the record you have no idea about how I've lived my life and what I've been exposed to. Jumping the assumption of I've lived in bubble experiencing only privilege just shows that you yourself jump to conclusions.
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:11
CakeLike
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Funny how calling a gay person the f word is somehow okay by some peoples opinions but god forbid you call a homophobe a homophobe
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:16
sinbad22uk
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Your age means nothing in this discussion. I have lived through "real" homophobia as well and still live it to this day. You don't know where I live or how I live so I suggest you keep your personal comments to yourself. Stop trying to invalidate what other people are going through.
Well enlighten us then, because you haven't done it so far
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:16
Fanntastik
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Well enlighten us then, because you haven't done it so far
What? Do you want me to tell you my personal life story?
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:17
dtorre
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People that complain about everything being too PC are just complaining that they can't spout their bigoted opinions without being criticized anymore.
Actually, it's the opposite. Political correctness is used to stifle and shut down any criticism of 'special, protected' groups like gays, muslims, etc. If anybody does try to criticise them, they instantly start shouting buzzwords like 'bigot', 'homophobia', 'racism', etc in an attempt to scare their opposition into backing down for fear of being labelled while completely avoiding the topic at hand
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:19
getmadnow17
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Oh so you get to decide who's a bigot and who the defenders of bigots are. On the other hand you are totally fine with Uncle Tom because in your view that slur supports your agenda despite the fact it doesn't even accurately reflect Harriet Tubman's character and is used to demean people who don't fit a very narrow stereotype. Interesting.
For the record you have no idea about how I've lived my life and what I've been exposed to. Jumping the assumption of I've lived in bubble experiencing only privilege just shows that you yourself jump to conclusions.
What **** does Harriet Tubman have to do with this? No i don't get to decide, i only have my opinion.

As i said before like many other black people i don't consider it to be a slur or even in the vicinity as the n word but i guess you're here to tell us black folks that were wrong and you're right, right?
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:19
CakeLike
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Actually, it's the opposite. Political correctness is used to stifle and shut down any criticism of 'special, protected' groups like gays, muslims, etc. If anybody does try to criticise them, they instantly start shouting buzzwords like 'bigot', 'homophobia', 'racism', etc in an attempt to scare their opposition into backing down for fear of being labelled while completely avoiding the topic at hand
Theres a difference between criticizing and insulting. Alex referring to perez as a "silly ass F****" was not criticizing his sexuality it was insulting it.
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:27
dtorre
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Theres a difference between criticizing and insulting. Alex referring to perez as a "silly ass F****" was not criticizing his sexuality it was insulting it.
That one situation doesn't change the fact that there are a lot of people that use these buzzwords like 'homophobe' to constantly stifle and shut down any debate or criticism that they are uncomfortable with

You asked why people won't just accept being labelled a homophobe and give up their side of the argument in the face of a buzzword? It's because so many people are quick to bandy these buzzwords around nowadays that the non-hysteria people are tired of hearing it. Everything is homophobic, everything is racist, yawn. You can only go to the well so many times before it runs dry
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:33
EvieJ
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This is the most sensible post I've read. As for the BIB, well I'm astounded that there are so many perfect people on this forum, who never say anything they regret when they've been provoked and insist that everyone should be able to "turn the other cheek". They're clearly a lot more controlled than I and most people I've ever met to be honest.
Thankfully I don't think they're in the majority. Most can see that everyone is human.
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:36
CakeLike
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That one situation doesn't change the fact that there are a lot of people that use these buzzwords like 'homophobe' to constantly stifle and shut down any debate or criticism that they are uncomfortable with

You asked why people won't just accept being labelled a homophobe and give up their side of the argument in the face of a buzzword? It's because so many people are quick to bandy these buzzwords around nowadays that the non-hysteria people are tired of hearing it. Everything is homophobic, everything is racist, yawn. You can only go to the well so many times before it runs dry
Similiarly there are those homophobes and racists who hide behind terms such as "too pc" or complaining that people are too sensitive. You can only go to the well so many times before it runs dry
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Old 18-01-2015, 21:41
Scout66
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What **** does Harriet Tubman have to do with this? No i don't get to decide, i only have my opinion.

As i said before like many other black people i don't consider it to be a slur or even in the vicinity as the n word but i guess you're here to tell us black folks that were wrong and you're right, right?
Harriet Tubman wrote Uncle Tom's cabin. Have you read it? You know at the end of the book, not the film, he gives up his life to save the lives of other slaves. Again it's you who's telling people how to think and making assumptions about their lives, ethnicity, race, sexuality based on anonymous postings on the internet. You are aware of that right?
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Old 18-01-2015, 22:12
getmadnow17
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Harriet Tubman wrote Uncle Tom's cabin. Have you read it? You know at the end of the book, not the film, he gives up his life to save the lives of other slaves. Again it's you who's telling people how to think and making assumptions about their lives, ethnicity, race, sexuality based on anonymous postings on the internet. You are aware of that right?
Are you aware that Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote Uncle Tom's cabin not Harriet Tubman?

And it's not just my opinion, a lot of people feel annoyed that privileged people constantly continue aggressively dictate how those attacked group feel about racist or homophobic acts. Obviously you feel that we don't have right to be annoyed by this and by our issues always being trivialised.

@ the bolded. It's funny that forum is rife is with Non black or non gay people who do this, but you are attacking me for stand up in defence.
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Old 18-01-2015, 22:20
sinbad22uk
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Actually, it's the opposite. Political correctness is used to stifle and shut down any criticism of 'special, protected' groups like gays, muslims, etc. If anybody does try to criticise them, they instantly start shouting buzzwords like 'bigot', 'homophobia', 'racism', etc in an attempt to scare their opposition into backing down for fear of being labelled while completely avoiding the topic at hand
Thank You 100% correct
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Old 18-01-2015, 22:31
Scout66
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Are you aware that Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote Uncle Tom's cabin not Harriet Tubman?

And it's not just my opinion, a lot of people feel annoyed that privileged people constantly continue aggressively dictate how those attacked group feel about racist or homophobic acts. Obviously you feel that we don't have right to be annoyed by this and by our issues always being trivialised.

@ the bolded. It's funny that forum is rife is with Non black or non gay people who do this, but you are attacking me for stand up in defence.
I totally stand corrected for a lazy mistake on my part.
Of course I understand about privilege and that there those who really do feel entitled to it. Way up thread I recommended a documentary, did you even consider it? I really wish you would stop making assumptions about my experiences and what I do in the real world and what I stand for. I don't speak for any group and I'm annoyed by people who think they do. I'm not attacking you I'm attacking that stance. Once again my entire point is that labeling a person with a hateful label based on the utterance of a single word is intolerant and non-productive. If you deem me a bigot for that stance then there really isn't much left to discuss. I'd rather stand with and follow the lead of great civil rights activists and leaders who have effected real change in the real world. Have a good evening and great week. Thanks for the dialogue.
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Old 18-01-2015, 22:36
getmadnow17
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I totally stand corrected for a lazy mistake on my part.
Of course I understand about privilege and that there those who really do feel entitled to it. Way up thread I recommended a documentary, did you even consider it? I really wish you would stop making assumptions about my experiences and what I do in the real world and what I stand for. I don't speak for any group and I'm annoyed by people who think they do. I'm not attacking you I'm attacking that stance. Once again my entire point is that labeling a person with a hateful label based on the utterance of a single word is intolerant and non-productive. If you deem me a bigot for that stance then there really isn't much left to discuss. I'd rather stand with and follow the lead of great civil rights activists and leaders who have effected real change in the real world. Have a good evening and great week. Thanks for the dialogue.
We just have agree to disagree!!!

Thanks for the recommendation, I'll definitely check out the documentary.
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Old 18-01-2015, 22:44
jobielad
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wow - perez has managed to find a way to insult people and yet always be the insulted.

Whether or not he is entertaining, personally I find him to be a maggot, he is slowly destroying any real interaction in the house and substituting it with some sort of insane soap opera that is obviously his roadmap for success.

What I find fascinating is that the rest of the house seem totally unable to prevent it, and indeed are destroying their credibility one by one.
Totally agree with the real interaction. I find it sad that because the Perez show is so overpowering we aren't getting to know most of the characters in there. At the moment it is dominated by Perez, Katie and Nadia. Even Michelle has become more closed down now and less vocal than initially. It has become the Perez soap opera. Why I wonder?
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Old 19-01-2015, 02:26
xtramo
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...and your point is...?
All in the first post for you
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Old 19-01-2015, 02:28
xtramo
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some of the reasons given for why racism or homophobic comments are ok..

.....they deserved it......
......the context......
......Free speech......
......it was heated......
......in the moment.....
......they say it themselves.....
.......we all say bad things sometimes...wink ....wink

So absurd its kind of funny.
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Old 19-01-2015, 03:29
Kromm
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I have haven't watched the show since Friday so i'm basing this post on the threads on here that I have just read and feel the need to highlight two things.

There is no excuse for homophobia, racism or violence, No matter how annoying someone is - Perez or otherwise it is in no way justifying the use of these horrible mind-sets. The fact that there are people on here who seem to be suggesting or outright saying that someone's behaviour can validate them being abused in those ways is a little bit despicable.

Then think about my next point - Perez is annoying ok so you don't like that, but if you advocate for him to abused in not just those ways but actually hurt as well - WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU? I say far worse. Think about how ridiculous it is that you judge someone else for being annoying to strangers but yourself condone despicable violence towards a stranger.

Just a couple of thoughts.
If Perez was simply being annoying you'd have a point. But he had a SPECIFIC agenda and plan of provocation to get these people to snap at him.

It doesn't make the use of homophobic slurs right, but it's kind of like a battle of offenses. A slur is bad, but it's not necessarily worse than systematic mental torture and stalking (I know they're trapped in a house together, but what Perez did was arguably a compressed version of stalking someone--following them around and not allowing that person to disengage from you).

It's a battle of wrongs. A transitory wrong based on high emotion, and yes perhaps some deeper prejudices, vs. a total disregard for someone as a human being, in the name of either gamesmanship or just ego (it's hard to tell with Perez which is most true).
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