1 (15 points): Alicia Douvall (easily the most likeable one in there, and the only one who genuinely seemed like she was on any kind of "journey". Would have been a great winner. Instead she was evicted 2nd, and booed because vulnerability is an awful trait and must be condemned, apparently. One of the more depressing outcomes in Big Brother history. Nice to see her doing okay here, though – I didn't think I'd see many other top rankings for her)
2: Patsy Kensit (even with about 30 collective seconds of screentime, she was probably the funniest housemate of the series)
3: Nadia Sawalha (proportionately firm with Perez, didn't really overindulge him like she was always accused of, yet still impressively loyal in spite of constant pressure from both the housemates and the booing crowd. Good tip for this show: if the audience hate you, you're probably doing something right)
4: Keith Chegwin (consistently endearing, which is not something anyone else in there could really be accused of)
5: Katie Price (a deserving winner for her unswerving indifference to the hate maelstrom around her)
6: Perez Hilton (gutter-press bellend who somehow managed to be orders of magnitude more irritating than I could have imagined, but who attracted ire both in and out of the house so insanely disproportionate I ended up rooting for him almost out of obligation. Coughing at Alexander and nonchalantly threatening to rape someone – even if it was Calum – were the only times he really crossed the line, which is pretty remarkable given that he seemed to be the designated Speidi of 2015. Order housemates by malevolence, and he's mid-ranking at worst)
7: Jeremy Jackson (the original pre-Perez fascinating mess of the series)
8: Alexander O'Neal (I liked him for most of his time in the house, but I still think he came off worse in the Perez mess. Will be remembered better as Hopkins's convenient excuse than a personality in his own right)
9: Ken Morley (hmm. This list got depressing fast)
10: Kavana (sometimes there was an amusing absurdity about him, sometimes he was a bit depressing, usually he just wasn't there at all)
11: Katie Hopkins (sort of depressing that I have to be glad the villain of the series "only" finished as the runner-up. Basically a vacuous performing eyebrow. But of course she's a redeemed character because she cried a couple of times? I mean, yeah, it's nice that she displayed some vulnerability, but it's weird that her being exactly as nasty as her reputation before the show suggested somehow confounded viewers' expectations. "Oh she's nicer than I thought, she can generate tears and didn't literally commit genocide")
12: Cami-Li (all volume, no personality)
13: Chloe Goodman (not sure I can ethically justify putting her 6 places below Jeremy, but she was neither entertaining nor likeable – the only other thing I remember about her was the obnoxious display of post-nominations entitlement she directed at Patsy for saving Perez)
14: Calum Best (I haven't forgotten his bizarre arrogance when he refused to acknowledge the possibility that Katie Price was being polite by not explicitly calling him the most boring housemate in her nomination. I'm usually quite forgiving of boring housemates, but he's just Ash Harrison without the champagne cork)
15 (1 point): Michelle Visage (she's "doing it for the misfits"! By which she means she's going to cling unquestioningly to the privileged bully then berate genuine misfit Alicia for not isolating herself enough. To think I had RuPaul's Drag Race on my things-I-need-to-get-round-to-watching-because-the-other-gays-on-Twitter-say-so list before this)
