I completely agree, Tamara. I thought I was a lone voice. There was no possibility of informed consent and many of the comments on Twitter, etc have been pretty shameful.

Seems odd that you also have joined in order to post about the reactions to this programme.

FWIW, I enjoyed it. I thought the children were very articulate, and having a grandson of around this age, the negotiations they had to go through were fascinating. My own favourite line was 'If he troubles you, bite him' and I shall be guided through life by this henceforth.

I forgot about this card that Chaim made. I wonder whether he was asked to make one or if he had the idea himself...?

It was a nice/softer side to him.

Another newbie I see....

You may be interested to learn that, apparently, there is to be a clampdown on the trolls using Twitter.

Observations from a Nursery Nurse/Early Years Worker of 23 years...

Children all develop at different rates and their behaviour on starting nursery at 3 reflects that, their previous experience of social settings and parenting skills. Children do not have inbuilt social skills, they have to be learned and as attending nursery is often their first experience of a social setting, this is where they learn. You cannot write off a child for not yet having reached that stage of development. At home you can teach a child to rote learn the alphabet as a toddler but you cannot teach social interaction with a peer group until the child is in that type of environment. You cannot force maturation. It just happens.

Every nursery has lots of Chaims and worse. Some of our 3 year olds are like wild animals when they start but within 6 months you see a huge difference. By the time they go to school the vast majority are able to take turns, share and have a good understanding of rules and boundries.

Staff do not expect children to start nursery as perfect little citizens. Unfortunately lots of parents do. Preschoolers don't really have a concept of bullying. It's an adult term that kids pick up from parents who are far too quick to use that term any time a kid looks at their child the wrong way. Bullying is the systematic targeting of a child, knowing they can get what they want through bullying and intimidation, feeling a sense of power and getting a kick from that. Again at preschool age, they're just learning social skills. 'See toy, want toy, snatch toy' is simply an impulsive action, entirely different to a premeditated "I'm going to intimidate this kid into giving me his lunch money."

Christian is fantastic. Loved him! I noticed he has some Aspie tendencies, it would be interesting to see him in 5 years time.

Has this been taken off 4od as just went to watch and cannot find it

Good post. As a parent of a child with Aspergers I picked up on that too. When the parents spoke about his lining up of toys, reference to 'old man' , sticking to rules etc .and his high intelligence , I thought he had the exact same traits as my child.

Fascinating documentary - all the kids were very different and very normal, interesting how they brought them back together after only 6 months, to see how they had changed...a lot it seemed.


But was I the only one who, when the camera panned up the big tree - one of the kids was going to be up it.

Good post,great to hear from someone hands on daily.

I have 3 children 20,18 and 7..all boys. One thing I have noticed and could just be coincidence..the one child out of each of my sons year groups who started out in nursery with similar behaviour to Chaim..have all continued that pattern of behaviour through nursery primary secondary and even college.. And all three children I am thinking of were very spoilt,parents never said no to anything and one mother used to turn her chair deliberately facing away from the group of children at parties..if you can't see it happening, its not your fault you don't tell him off..
I completely understand children have to learn and would never call the child..especially at four!! But I really do have a problem with parents who will not acknowledge their child's behaviour when they are hurting other children..I certainly don't have three angels so am not playing holier than thou..but I have put the effort in to make them understand boundaries of behaviour.. I feel sorry for nursery nurses and teachers who do not have parental support.

Yes, common traits. My son has Asperger's too. He's high functioning but I've worked with kids from across the spectrum.

To be honest, I thought all the kids would be sticking their fingers into the cake. Was not at all suprised that Chaim helped himself without a 2nd thought. I think he is over indulged and 'no' is not a word he hears very often. he seems to have a great sense of entitlement.

I loved it, would like it to have gone on for longer, it was fascinating sitting back and watching these children interacting. We just do not get that chance at home, we are too close to what is going on around us and too busy.

I was wondering how Chaim would have reacted if he had been the one with the chocolate.

Probably did not see anything wrong with his behaviour.



When they said that, i thought they were talking about the next programm on the children.

Not bigoted, a fact of life. They have suffered persecution for centuries, their instinct is one of self preservation. I have worked with Israelis and found them to be very focussed, single minded and tough.

Oh here's another one joining DS to talk twaddle because they suddenly have something to say because it's close to home.

Teach kindness, sharing and thoughtfulness. Not difficult lessons for tinies to absorb as shown in the programme.

I'm re watching this now as it's on 4+1 and you guys have almost killed me lol
The part where skyla offers over the scooter? Never noticed the look on her face until you pointed it out. I'm sure my neighbours are wondering what that dorky laugh was about haha

Well, when Skyla handed over the scooter, I noticed 2 expressions - the first was somewhat menacing but then her eyes became very full and shining....like when the heart is open. Explain that!!!

I couldn't understand Skyla's general attitude. She seemed very unengaged which, to me, comes across as a bit worrying. Is it a form of defense? I ask since, when the girl that had pursued Skyla fruitlessly for 2 hours, became friends with the more extrovert girl, Skyla suddenly seemed lost and watched them a lot.

After various things were pointed out on this forum I decided to rewatch on 4OD. It is still there, but it was very slow to load for some reason, so gave up. Will have another go as I obviously missed seeing things that others saw.

I watched this programme out of professional interest because I work with children (most of mine are "at risk" unfortunately).

It was interesting but didn't really tell me anything new, 4 year olds are the centre of their own universe and need to learn how to play, share and socialise, it's not rocket science.

Some of the comments on this thread are revolting and spectacularly ill-informed.. Talking about children as if they are some weird, alien species, condemned as "evil" on the basis of a one hour populist channel documentary made for entertainment purposes.

I really wonder what their parents were thinking exposing their children to the vicious trolls on social media sites and web forums who don't know their arse from their elbow.

Good post. Unfortunately, how affected someone gets to such feedback is in their own making largely. You can either brush it off or become worried, i.e. if enough people are all saying the same thing, then there may be something to it.

It has not all been derogatory. Many nice comments have been made on this thread so that needs to be borne in mind, e.g re. Christian in particular....lovely child with promising potential.

As a Monkey Life addict (Pick TV 5 - 6 weekdays) everything on this programme was very familiar.

If the children in the programme were directly affected by feedback then it would be more worrying. As it is, it is primarily the parents that may have adverse reactions and, whether or not they choose to involve their child in this is entirely up to them.

Children are quick to criticise each other anyway and, so, it may well be that this will have an influential effect on some children in the programme - even it is only via "I am telling"

Well I thought the programme was fab as were most of the children. Some real little characters.

I was not impressed with Chaim's behaviour but to describe him as evil is frankly bonkers in my view.

As for suggesting he is a bully because he is Jewish - pathetic and deeply offensive.

The writing off of an entire section of our society as nasty (third generation people if West Indian heritage) is equally offensive and inaccurate.

Glad I got that off my chest!

Well said!

It's taken me 3 days to get it to work but watching it now.

I cannot warm to Chaim at all. I have seen so many children like that that then grow into horrible adults. The others are so cute.

I think Skyla will be a good actress when she grows up. The faces she pulls

Acting's about more than pulling faces. You are required to work with lots of people - a concept which wouldn't appeal to the four year old Skyla. Let's hope her attitude changes.

I am talking about when she grows up.

You would think there was more to acting than pulling faces. Some of the actors seem to miss that fact.

As mentioned, her attitude doesn't strike me as aloof/snooty, so much as detached/disengaged. Signs of withdrawal are more worrying really.