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Old 12-03-2015, 19:47
J-B
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I'm sick to the back teeth of so many degenerate, scumbag criminals walking around Albert Square without a care in the world. No wonder Carol is so fecking miserable all the time living in the countries most crime ridden square.

I've taken the time to compile a list of all the criminals currently lowering the tone of Eastenders. Thankfully Dot is behind bars for her heinous crimes. May she rot for all eternity at her majesties pleasure.

Kathy Beale - Fraud
Sharon Watts - Perverting the course of justice, Assisting an offender
Ian Beale - Perverting the course of justice, Assisting an offender
Phil Mitchell - Too many to list
Carol Jackson - Drug dealing
Sonia Fowler - Fraud, Obtaining money by deception, Theft
Ben Mitchell - Murder, Theft, Perverting the course of justice
Cindy Williams - Perverting the course of justice, Assisting an offender
Liam Butcher - Statutory Rape
Kat Slater - Falsifying evidence, perverting the course of justice, assault
Mo Harris - Petty theft, Council house fraud
Patrick Trueman - Assault
Alfie Moon - Arson, Attempted murder, Fraud
Jane Beale - Conspiracy to commit murder
Stacey Slater - Murder, Falsifying evidence, Perverting the course of justice
Dean Wicks - Rape
Denise Fox - Theft
Abi Branning - Murder
Shirley Carter - Assisting an offender, Attempted murder
Jay Brown - Assisting an offender
Ronnie Mitchell - Murder
Masood Ahmed - GBH
Les Coker - Fraud
Tina Carter - Drug dealing
Linda Carter - Assault
Mick Carter - Convicted whoremongerer, Attempted murder
Nancy Carter - Assault
Charlie Cotton - Assisting an offender, fraud
Lee Carter - Assault
Pam Coker - Murder
Bobby Beale - Murder

If you see any of these lowlifes, strutting around with no regard for moral decency, please apprehend them. Or call me and I'll come and sort them out. I'm hard as nails.

Thanks.
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Old 12-03-2015, 19:51
bass55
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The number of murderers living in one tiny Square really is amazing. Kathy coming back from the dead doesn't seem so far-fetched now.
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Old 12-03-2015, 19:53
SMIDSYmk2
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How did Liam commit Statutory rape?
Cindy is 16
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Old 12-03-2015, 19:54
J-B
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How did Liam commit Statutory rape?
Cindy is 16
Not when he slept with her the first time she wasn't. A dangerous, dangerous predator.
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Old 12-03-2015, 19:56
ALowsley
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Oh god this is a hilarious thread
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:01
Firegazer
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The overreaction is unreal, and plain hilarious. A lot of the people you've mentioned have faced the consequences of their crimes.

Abi has never murdered before. She didn't murder Lucy she just slapped her, which isn't enough to have caused Lucy's death.

The things you are picking at here are everyday things. God forbid I've punched a few people in my time when they say the wrong thing (something about a loved one or something plain inappropriate and disrespectful), but am I a criminal? Am I scum for daring to show my face on a day-to-day basis?

And are you seriously calling Mick a criminal for being falsely accused of sleeping with a prostitute? Like, oh my. You are in need of a law degree, my friend.
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:01
Firegazer
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Not when he slept with her the first time she wasn't. A dangerous, dangerous predator.
How is he dangerous for sleeping with someone he liked?
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:02
Fergie86
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Oh god this is a hilarious thread
It is, shows what a calm, peaceful and safe place Walford is
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:02
dantay24uk
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How is he dangerous for sleeping with someone he liked?
He's being sarcastic Firegazer! This whole thread is just satire.
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:03
J-B
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And are you seriously calling Mick a criminal for being falsely accused of sleeping with a prostitute? Like, oh my. You are in need of a law degree, my friend.
A convicted whoremongerer. No two ways about it Gazey.

How is he dangerous for sleeping with someone he liked?
Rape is rape.
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:04
Firegazer
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He's being sarcastic Firegazer! This whole thread is just satire.
I'm sad to say that I don't see the funny side to it! Trying too hard, that's what it is.
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:05
dantay24uk
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I'm sad to say that I don't see the funny side to it! Trying too hard, that's what it is.
Oh come on dude, lighten up a bit.

Makes a nice change from the usual moaning mini's.
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:17
evesapples131
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Do I have the worlds worst memory? Who did Abi Branning murder?
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:18
jmsspr93
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Abi has never murdered before. She didn't murder Lucy she just slapped her, which isn't enough to have caused Lucy's death.
She Killed the dog.
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:26
J-B
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Do I have the worlds worst memory? Who did Abi Branning murder?
Tramp. I bet there's still bits of him in the grill of Max's motor, the poor little mite.
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Old 12-03-2015, 20:26
Jimmy Skitz
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I'm sad to say that I don't see the funny side to it! Trying too hard, that's what it is.
or just maybe you're taking things far too seriously
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:27
RetroMusicFan
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J-B you make me laugh!

You should go rid Albert Square of all them dirty criminals!

Send Alfie Moon to me i'll give him a good flogging!

Pmsl!
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:30
Jimmy Skitz
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who did Alfie attempt to murder he thought the house was empty?
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:33
J-B
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who did Alfie attempt to murder he thought the house was empty?
So he says. Between thee and me, Jim, I'm hoping he goes back and finishes the job. I can't abide Kat for much longer.
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:33
Firegazer
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or just maybe you're taking things far too seriously
J-B was funny at first.
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:37
RetroMusicFan
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who did Alfie attempt to murder he thought the house was empty?
He didn't!

The OP is being sarky!

Lol!
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:39
Jimmy Skitz
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So he says. Between thee and me, Jim, I'm hoping he goes back and finishes the job. I can't abide Kat for much longer.
I'd settle for him slapping her with a wet fish every day
He didn't!

The OP is being sarky!

Lol!
I wasn't sure if I'd forgotten a storyline
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:43
joe gillott
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Not when he slept with her the first time she wasn't. A dangerous, dangerous predator.
Neither was he. They are the exact same age and cindy is about a month older then liam.
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Old 12-03-2015, 21:47
Jimmy Skitz
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Neither was he. They are the exact same age and cindy is about a month older then liam.
sad fact is he would be the 1 to be prosecuted if any were to happen
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Old 12-03-2015, 23:14
Kim_x
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Not when he slept with her the first time she wasn't. A dangerous, dangerous predator.
He was also under 16 (younger than her) so he wasn't guilty of statutory rape.
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